Dogs of C-Kennel for Feb 20, 2018 for 02/20/2018

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The BrainFood Show Episode 1: Throwing Tomatoes

In this debut episode of our new The BrainFood Show podcast, we discuss the surprising similarities between online commenters and audiences throughout history, as well as how the practice of throwing tomatoes at performers got started.  We’ll also be looking at the various ways to monetize on youtube and websites and just generally explaining how all that works. Finally, we cover a little Q&A using some of the most commonly asked questions directed at us on YouTube and the website.

Discuss this episode and view references on The BrainFood Show forum here.

Don’t miss future episodes of this podcast, subscribe here: iTunes | Google Play | RSS/XML

You can also find more episodes by going here: The BrainFood Show

The post The BrainFood Show Episode 1: Throwing Tomatoes appeared first on Today I Found Out.

What did I even write?

Apparently Furiously Happy is in Turkish now because I just got a copy of a Turkish psychology article about it, but I don’t read Turkish so I put part of it into Google translate and it gave me this: I’m … Continue reading

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5 Insanely Important Jobs (We’re Running Out Of People For)

By Dwayne Hoover,Michael Garowee,T.W. Thinker,Dibyajyoti Lahiri  Published: February 19th, 2018 

7 World-Famous Movie Props That Were Just Thrown Away

By Isaac Cabe  Published: February 19th, 2018 

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Why The Fifty Shades Series Hates Sex

By Lydia Bugg  Published: February 18th, 2018 

5 Famous Comics That Got Totally Insane Out Of The Blue

By Kathy Benjamin  Published: February 18th, 2018 

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18 Amazing Things You Probably Didn’t Know

By Cracked Writers,Andrés Diplotti  Published: February 17th, 2018 

‘Doctors Should Wash Their Hands’ Used To Be Controversial

By Cracked Writers  Published: February 17th, 2018 

5 Priceless Treasures That Got Destroyed In Stupid Dumb Ways

By Andrea Meno  Published: February 17th, 2018 

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Bill Maher: Trump Is ‘Plainly A Traitor Who Doesn’t Defend His Own Country’

The "Real Time" host also posed a question for Trump's supporters.

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6 Overlooked Details That Turn Beloved Characters Into Jerks

By JM McNab  Published: February 16th, 2018 

What We’re Still Not Teaching Kids About Consent

By Kristi Harrison  Published: February 16th, 2018 

Lazy Hollywood Shortcuts, Explained With Diagrams

By CRACKED Readers  Published: February 16th, 2018 

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What Ever Happened to the Creator of Calvin and Hobbes?

It was on November 18, 1985, when Calvin met Hobbes. As the first appearance of this legendary comic strip shows, Calvin sets a trap for a tiger using a tuna sandwich because “tigers will do ANYTHING for a tuna fish sandwich.” Sure enough, hanging by one foot and munching on the sandwich, Calvin’s freshly caught tiger confirms this, “We’re kind of stupid that way.”

Almost exactly ten years later, the comic’s elusive creator, Bill Watterson, abruptly called it quits, despite the comic’s extreme popularity. So how did it come together? Why did it last only a decade? And what has Watterson been up to in the over two decades since he retired at the young age of just 38?

Watterson was born in Washington D.C. in 1958 and lived in Alexandria, Virginia with his mother and father, who was a patent attorney. But when Watterson was six, they moved to Chagrin Falls, Ohio (about 24 miles east of Cleveland). In later interviews, Watterson talked a lot about how growing up in a small town encouraged him to use his imagination more, just like his creation, Calvin. As a child, he was a big Peanuts fan, despite saying that “at the time, most of (Peanuts) went over my head.”

In fact, in the fourth grade he wrote Charles Schultz (the comic strip’s creator) a letter. To his amazement, he got a response encouraging him to keep drawing (a letter that he claims he still has). By the time he was in the seventh grade, Watterson knew he wanted to be a cartoonist…or an astronaut. “The latter was never much of a possibility,” Watterson once said, “I don’t even like to ride in elevators.”

For much of high school and college, Watterson thought he was going to be an editorial cartoonist and went to Kenyon College in Ohio to pursue that.

As so often happens when anyone is first starting out at anything, the first few cartoons he produced were failures. There was Spaceman Spiff, a brash, stogie-smoking astronaut with incredible interstellar adventures and always foiled by his dense assistant Fargle.

There was another one about a newspaper reporter and his crazy editor. Another one that featured a frog and a groundhog and one called Critters about small bug-like creatures. Then, in 1983, he created In The Dog House, a strip featuring a 20-something Sam and his slacker friend Fester, plus Sam’s little brother Marvin, who happened to have a stuffed tiger whom he called Hobbes. In The Dog House didn’t get any love, but Melvin and Hobbes did and he decided to give them a comic of their own.

Unfortunately for Watterson, there was another strip (Marvin and Family) going by that name, so he decided to switch the name to “Calvin.” Watterson explains,

Calvin is named for a sixteenth-century theologian who believed in predestination. Most people assume that Calvin is based on a son of mine, or based on detailed memories of my own childhood. In fact, I don’t have children, and I was a fairly quiet, obedient kid — almost Calvin’s opposite. One of the reasons that Calvin’s character is fun to write is that I often don’t agree with him.

Ultimately Universal Press Syndicate picked up the comic and, on November 18, 1985,  Calvin and Hobbes made its debut.

It was a hit, within a year being published in nearly 300 newspapers. Something about a six-year-old boy who goes on adventures with his best friend who’s also a tiger – that may or may not be real – really resonated with readers. As to why, even Watterson himself wasn’t exactly sure, stating he simply “tried to write honestly, and I tried to make this little world fun to look at, so people would take the time to read it. That was the full extent of my concern. You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens. I can’t explain why the strip caught on the way it did, and I don’t think I could ever duplicate it. A lot of things have to go right all at once.”

He does note though that Calvin is an outlet for everyone’s inner child, both the good and bad. He’s a kid with an imagination, excitement about life, and a belief in the magical but also immature and somewhat of a terror. Watterson further explained in 1995 in The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book,

Calvin is autobiographical in the sense that he thinks about the same issues that I do, but in this, Calvin reflects my adulthood more than my childhood. Many of Calvin’s struggles are metaphors for my own. I suspect that most of us get old without growing up, and that inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way. I use Calvin as an outlet for my immaturity, as a way to keep myself curious about the natural world, as a way to ridicule my own obsessions, and as a way to comment on human nature. I wouldn’t want Calvin in my house, but on paper, he helps me sort through my life and understand it.

As for Hobbes, Watterson said he partially based the tiger’s personality on his own cat, a grey tabby named Sprite. In particular, Hobbes’ habit of meeting Calvin at the door with a mid-air, high-velocity pounce was something Watterson’s states his cat used to do as well. He goes on that he made sure Hobbes, despite acting human-like, kept many of his feline qualities, like his demeanor and prideful attitude in being a cat. Watterson also notes, “Like Calvin, I often prefer the company of animals to people, and Hobbes is my idea of an ideal friend.”

In terms of the overriding question of the comic strip – if Hobbes is real or not – the author again attempts to clear it up, but not in the way that most would think.

The so-called “gimmick” of my strip — the two versions of Hobbes — is sometimes misunderstood. I don’t think of Hobbes as a doll that miraculously comes to life when Calvin’s around. Neither do I think of Hobbes as the product of Calvin’s imagination. Calvin sees Hobbes one way, and everyone else sees Hobbes another way. I show two versions of reality, and each makes complete sense to the participant who sees it. I think that’s how life works. None of us sees the world exactly the same way, and I just draw that literally in the strip. Hobbes is more about the subjective nature of reality than about dolls coming to life.

By 1995, Calvin and Hobbes was one of the most popular comics in the world, syndicated in over 2,400 newspapers worldwide with more than 24 million copies of the 14 book collections having been sold.

That’s when Watterson decided to call it quits.

In November of 1995 and at only 38 years old, Watterson announced his retirement from creating Calvin and Hobbes comics, stating publicly,

I will be stopping Calvin and Hobbes at the end of the year. This was not a recent or an easy decision, and I leave with some sadness. My interests have shifted however, and I believe I’ve done what I can do within the constraints of daily deadlines and small panels. I am eager to work at a more thoughtful pace, with fewer artistic compromises. I have not yet decided on future projects…

The last strip appeared on December 31, 1995, with the last panel showing the little boy and his tiger best friend sledding down a snowy hill with Calvin exclaiming, “let’s go exploring.”

So what has Watterson been doing since then? Well, mostly very purposefully staying out of the public eye- earning the distinction of the “J.D. Salinger of Comics.”

What little is known about his life since then is that he took up painting, but with no real interest in showing the world the results of his efforts, stating, “My first problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release—just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook. But yes, my second problem is that Calvin and Hobbes created a level of attention and expectation that I don’t know how to process.”

Beyond painting, he also for a time would secretly autograph copies of his books at Fireside Bookshop in Ohio, but ceased the practice when he found that people were just buying said copies and then selling them online for high amounts. Beyond this little pastime, he has occasionally published or contributed to books examining Calvin and Hobbes, such as the excellent book, Exploring Calvin and Hobbes – An Exhibition Catalogue.

But other than that and a little charity work here and there, as far as public record goes, he’s seemingly just enjoying a quiet retirement and actively staying out of the public sphere.

That said, 15 years after retiring, in 2010, he did give a rare interview and was asked if he ever regretted calling it quits on Calvin and Hobbes at the peak of its fame. Watterson stated of this

It’s always better to leave the party early. If I had rolled along with the strip’s popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now “grieving” for “Calvin and Hobbes” would be wishing me dead and cursing newspapers for running tedious, ancient strips like mine instead of acquiring fresher, livelier talent. And I’d be agreeing with them. I think some of the reason “Calvin and Hobbes” still finds an audience today is because I chose not to run the wheels off it. I’ve never regretted stopping when I did.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy subscribing to our new Daily Knowledge YouTube channel, as well as:

Bonus Fact:

  • Watterson famously not only passed up but fought vehemently against merchandising of Calvin and Hobbes, costing himself many tens of millions of dollars in revenue.  He stated of this that it wasn’t so much that he was against the idea of merchandising in general, just that “each product I considered seemed to violate the spirit of the strip, contradict its message, and take me away from the work I loved.”  Despite this, it’s not terribly difficult to find merchandise of Calvin and Hobbes, but all are unauthorized copyright infringements, including the extremely common “Calvin Peeing” car stickers. Despite never having earned a dime from these, Watterson quipped in an interview with mental_floss, “I figure that, long after the strip is forgotten, those decals are my ticket to immortality.”
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The post What Ever Happened to the Creator of Calvin and Hobbes? appeared first on Today I Found Out.

Andy Capp for Feb 15, 2018 for 02/15/2018

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The Much Better Movie Hiding In ‘Titanic’

By Ryan Menezes  Published: February 15th, 2018 

Donald Trump’s 6 Very Real, Very Insane Tips For A Good Life

By Chris Bucholz  Published: February 15th, 2018 

I wrote this whole post and didn’t once make a joke about getting a little head. YOU’RE WELCOME, WORLD.

me: What did you get me for Valentine’s Day? Victor:  Nothing.  What did you get me? me:  ALSO NOTHING.  This is why we make such a good couple.  Because we get matching gifts for each other literally without even trying. … Continue reading

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The Wild West Was Not As Murder-Filled As You Imagine

By Cracked Writers  Published: February 14th, 2018 

The Sad Reality Of A Christian Pick-Up Artist

By Seanbaby  Published: February 14th, 2018 

Why Do Drawn Hearts Look Nothing Like Real Hearts?

Mark R. asks: Why do drawn hearts look nothing like real hearts? Who first drew them this way?

heartThe heart symbol is one of the single most enduring and widely recognised symbols in modern culture. But where did it come from?

Something like the familiar heart symbol goes back many thousands of years.  Specifically, several pieces of pottery going back as far as 3000BC clearly show the unmistakable symbol.  However, in these instances, the symbol is noted to be a simplification of either a fig or ivy leaf, not a crude representation of the human heart, and seemingly, at least initially, not having anything to do with love. Fast-forwarding through history and we find many cultures using a similar symbol, such as depicted in Grecian, Cretian, Minoan, Mycean, Roman and Corinthian pottery, along with many others. In these instances, again, the symbol doesn’t appear to be representative of a heart, but of various leaves.

For example, the early vine leaf imagery in Greek culture was mostly used to represent Dionysus, the god of wine, fertility, and ecstasy, among other things. For a more straightforward example of the ivy leaf imagery having a double, suggestive meaning, in the city of Ephesus around fourth century A.D, the symbol was used to represent a brothel.

As ivy is quite long-lived and hardy, it was also prominently seen on early Greek and Roman graves. Interestingly, entirely independent of the Greeks and Romans, Buddhists also came to use a symbol similar to that of the drawn heart. However, in their culture, it was representative of a fig leaf, which came to symbolise enlightenment.

However, just because these very similar early symbols strongly resemble the modern symbol for the heart, doesn’t necessarily mean this is where the modern symbol came from and we, unfortunately, lack much in the way of direct evidence to trace its early lineage. As such, it has also been proposed that it derived from a different, now extinct, plant known as, “silphium“, which was used in ancient times as a very effective form of birth control, among many other uses.  The trade of silphium was so lucrative that Cyrene, the town it was grown in, actually put it on their money. Along with its obvious links with a form of love, the plant’s seed pod was stylised in ancient times as what we can now recognise as akin to the heart symbol.

Whether these various leaves or seed pod had anything to do with the subsequent symbol directly, it is generally thought describing the human heart as looking like certain leaves may have had something to do with it. You see, though Arabic and other doctors of earlier periods had made leaps and bounds in anatomical study, during the middle ages, much of this was lost or suppressed by the Church. And with autopsies being outlawed, many were forced to rely on the early descriptions of these doctors and nothing else. These descriptions tended to describe the heart in one of two ways, looking something like a conifer cone in overall shape or looking something like an inverted leaf, with the stem as the arterial branching.

Roman_de_la_poire

Roman De La Poire

As for direct evidence, appearing in a 13th century French manuscript and written by an unknown author, a simple romance tale called “Roman de la poire” (Romance of the pear) is now famous for featuring one of the the earliest known images of the heart in a metaphorical sense, where a man hands his heart to his lover. Its shape is likened to that of a conifer cone, in keeping with the known medical literature of the time.  Around this same time in the 13th century, the royal banner of the kings of Denmark prominently depicted the heart symbol.

In the early 14th century, we also see yet another conifer-cone shaped heart where Giotto de Bondone depicts a heart being giving to Christ in a painting at the Scrovegni Chapel.

From here, numerous others began using this same basic symbol, at first with the point commonly on top, and then switched to pointing down like today around the 15th century. During this same period, the indentation in the fat side of the heart symbol started to appear more and more frequently, perhaps mimicking the look of certain types of leaves as mentioned and as many have theorised, or perhaps not.

Whatever the case, during the next few hundred years, several things happened that saw the heart symbol’s popularity explode. Ironically, though the Church had played a large role in people being unaware of what an actual human heart looked like, it also was integral in the spreading of the heart symbol. Specifically, the so called “Sacred Heart of Jesus” was supposedly seen in a vision by one, Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque in 1673.

Physically, this Sacred Heart is remarkably similar to the modern heart symbol, though generally depicted surrounded by thorns and sometimes depicted on fire. The Catholic Church used this symbol extensively in the subsequent centuries.

However, as previously noted, by that point the symbol and its use to depict a human heart had already been well known and commonly used by artists and others for a few centuries. It was even used by Protestant Reformation leader Martin Luther when he oversaw the development of his coat of arms, “Luther Rose“, in 1519, over a century and a half before Saint Margaret’s vision. Luther had this to say about the design of his coat of arms in a letter written in 1530:

…I shall answer most amiably and tell you my original thoughts and reason about why my seal is a symbol of my theology. The first should be a black cross in a heart, which retains its natural color, so that I myself would be reminded that faith in the Crucified saves us. ‘For one who believes from the heart will be justified’ (Romans 10:10). Although it is indeed a black cross, which mortifies and which should also cause pain, it leaves the heart in its natural color. It does not corrupt nature, that is, it does not kill but keeps alive. ‘The just shall live by faith’ (Romans 1:17) but by faith in the Crucified. Such a heart should stand in the middle of a white rose, to show that faith gives joy, comfort, and peace…

So contrary to what is often said, Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque’s vision was not the origin of the symbol as representing a heart, but certainly helped popularise it with its widespread use by the Catholic Church after this.

The other important thing that happened to help popularise the symbol, and that also predated the Sacred Heart vision, is the late 15th century introduction, and later spreading, of the French card suits, Cœurs (Hearts), Carreaux (Diamonds), Trefles (Clubs) and Piques (Spades).

In the end, though religious pressure on the medical world waned in later centuries and anatomical knowledge was eventually spread far and wide, the sheer amount of artistic, poetic and commercial attention given to the iconic heart symbol not only saw it survive, but thrive as symbol for both the human heart and love. Despite that love doesn’t originate in, nor does the symbol look much like, the human heart, from the looks of things, the drawn heart representing these things is not about to change anytime soon.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy subscribing to our new Daily Knowledge YouTube channel, as well as:

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The post Why Do Drawn Hearts Look Nothing Like Real Hearts? appeared first on Today I Found Out.

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How Do They Make White Gold White Given That It’s an Element?

Elizabeth F. asks: Is white gold really gold? If it is, how do they make it white when it’s an element?

Wedding-ringsThe purest form of gold is, of course, golden and is referred to as 24 karat gold. Pure gold is much too soft for use in jewelry and can even be dented by simply pressing your fingernail hard against it. Needless to say, daily wear, particularly for things like rings and bracelets, would see such jewelry bent and deformed quite quickly. So the gold must be made more durable by mixing it with another kind of metal or metals, creating a gold alloy.

As far as terminology goes, the 24 karats that make up pure gold translate to all twenty-four parts being gold. So an 18 karat gold ring is constructed of 18 parts pure gold and 6 parts something else, adding up to a total of 24 (75% gold, 25% other). The same formula can be applied to any karat of gold jewelry, such as a 14 karat gold pendant- made up of 14 parts gold and 10 parts other metals.

So what are these other metals? If the desired result for a particular piece of jewelry is still a golden color, common metals mixed with gold include copper and zinc.

With white gold, the jeweler typically uses metals like silver, palladium, manganese, and nickel, with nickel for a time being the main bleaching agent due to its cheapness. However, nickel has fallen out of favor in some jewelry circles because it more commonly causes allergic reactions.

All that said, while the resulting piece in these cases will be bleached to more of a silvery color, it doesn’t typically produce the vibrant silver hue commonly associated with white gold today. (Although, there are methods to achieve this that have been very recently developed.) But for the vast majority of white gold out there, the vibrant silver color is created by coating the white gold alloy with a thin layer of rhodium, a metal in the platinum family.

The choice of rhodium comes from its bright white color along with its extreme durability. Eventually, though, it will wear down, at which point it will reveal the yellow tint of the white gold beneath. Depending on the exact makeup of the white gold, this may be barely noticeable to extremely apparent.  With unscrupulous jewelers, they may even simply use regular yellow gold alloys plated with rhodium in their “white gold” as a way to save a little money in production. The buyers would have no idea until the rhodium wore off, which takes a while.

Whatever the case, if you notice a yellow tint after a while, simply having the white gold cleaned then having a jeweler apply a new coating of rhodium returns the metal to its previous silvery shine, and usually is relatively inexpensive to have done. In some cases, jewelers even offer this service free if you originally purchased the item in question from them.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy subscribing to our new Daily Knowledge YouTube channel, as well as:

Bonus Facts:

  • While yellow gold and white gold tend to be the most common in jewelry, other colors can be made by adding different metals to the gold. For instance, pink and rose gold is made by adding a higher ratio of copper, with the amount of copper added determining the hue. Green gold can be created by adding silver, copper, and zinc alloys. Even a black color can be achieved by coating white gold with a black rhodium.
  • Platinum jewelry contains a greater percentage of platinum to alloys than the ratio of traditional gold to alloys in white gold, often containing 90% to 95% platinum with the remaining percentage of material generally being iridium, ruthenium, or cobalt.
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The post How Do They Make White Gold White Given That It’s an Element? appeared first on Today I Found Out.

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That Time an Argument Over the Quality of Ale Resulted in a Battle Between Oxford Students and the Townsfolk

OxfordOxford University is well known for being one of the most prestigious and elite places of learning in history. Over the years, it has seen some of the finest minds the world has ever known pass through its halls. It’s also the place where over six centuries ago a bunch of students and a fair number of townsfolk were killed in a riot over a pint.

While many details about what has come to be known as “The St Scholastica’s Day Riots” have been lost, and others are occasionally conflicting given the documentation of the day (which is perhaps not surprising when reading accounts from two groups that detest one another), we do know more or less how events transpired. For starters, in every reputable account, the riots began on the 10th of February 1355, which just so happens to be known as “St Scholastica’s Day”- a day of feasting meant to honor St Scholastica, the sister of the perhaps more well known St Benedict.

On that day, a number of Oxford students were drinking at an establishment called the Swindlestock tavern (a.k.a. Swyndlestock Tavern) when two of the students began complaining about the quality of the ale on offer. Exactly who these students were isn’t known for certain, but they are commonly claimed to have been named Walter Spryngeheuse and Roger de Chesterfield.

Whether that was really their names or not, the students were extremely dissatisfied with the quality of the alcoholic beverages they’d been served and complained to the landlord, supposedly named John de Croyden, directly.

Allegedly, the landlord responded to these complaints with “stubborn and saucie language” which, if you’ve ever been in a pub, is probably how approximately 99% of all landlords would react to being rudely told their drinks taste a bit like pigswill. The students, not liking the landlord’s attitude, decided that they’d express their displeasure by hurling their tankards directly in his face.

What happened immediately after isn’t clear. But eventually, the infuriated landlord roused the local populace by ringing the town church’s bell which in turn caused the students to do the same with the bell located in the university’s church, with both sides rallying.  Soon after, a riot erupted between the two groups when arrests against the two initial instigators were attempted. The riots quickly grew out of hand including an estimated two thousand additional townsfolk joining the fray after rumours of the riot and the sound of ringing bells reached the countryside.

Bouts of violence involving bows, arrows, swords, axes and, of course, fists continued well into the night and the next day. Ultimately, the townsfolk managed to storm the university grounds and kill 63 students, as well as injuring many more. The students, in turn, reportedly managed to kill upwards of 30 or so townsfolk during the melee.

At first glance, this may seem a little over the top for what seems to have started as a fairly minor altercation between a handful of people in a pub. But the thing to keep in mind is that at this point in history, the university and its students held a ludicrous amount of power over the town, to the point where the students were in many ways above the law. As noted in the book, Student Resistance: A History of the Unruly Subject: “At the turn of the 13th century thousands of students roamed the streets randomly attacking hapless citizens and sheriffs who couldn’t touch the marauding students out of fear of state retaliation.”

In fact, only a little over a century before, another riot between the Oxford students and the townsfolk had started after students murdered a townswoman. Some of the students fleeing the ensuing riot ultimately helped found the University of Cambridge, today the second oldest university in England after Oxford.

Beyond more or less being above the law, the students were also exempt from being able to be sued in court outside of their diocese, as well as exempt from paying certain taxes. Needless to say, from the beginning up until somewhat recently in history, significant clashes between Oxford students and the surrounding townsfolk were relatively frequent.

The university and its students were able to get away with all this because, at that point in history, Oxford was essentially another arm of the Church, meaning its power was pretty much absolute. This was no better proved than when King Edward III caught wind of the riot and instead of trying to get to the bottom of what happened, he decided instead to impose harsh penalties on the entire town and arrest any citizen he felt had something to do with the riots.

These penalties included, among other things, forcing the mayor to march with a bare head to the university to beg forgiveness from the Vice-Chancellor and then pay a fine of 63 pennies (one for every scholar killed) on the anniversary of the riots, every year, for all time. This was a tradition that was upheld for almost five centuries, right up until 1825 when “the mayor simply refused to continue the practice.”

On top of forcing the mayor to beg forgiveness on behalf of the townsfolk every year for just under half a millennium, the university was also initially given control of certain trade in the town, including the trade of wine and beer.

So, in the end, by all appearances it would seem it was the landlord’s fault for not brewing better alcohol and then having the audacity to have his face get in the way of the thrown drinks by the Oxford students.

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The post That Time an Argument Over the Quality of Ale Resulted in a Battle Between Oxford Students and the Townsfolk appeared first on Today I Found Out.

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Best of This Blog

best of blog

With over 700 posts, the Humor That Works Blog is a vast resource covering all sorts of humor topics. But it can also be a bit overwhelming; new readers aren’t sure where to start or what to focus on. Well, new readers should definitely start with the Getting Started Guide, but after that, it’s choose-your-own-adventure.

But if you want some insight from the author, I decided to share some of my favorite posts from the last 7+ years of writing about humor at work.

#1. Funny Work Jokes

Who doesn’t like a good one-liner? That was my thought with this collection of work jokes. Yes, there are plenty of posts on this blog that cover the benefits of humor or how to use it, but sometimes all you need is a laugh or 101.

Read 101 Funny Work Jokes to Get You Through the Day

2. The Best Teambuilding Exercise

Some of my posts are dedicated to teaching you how to do a very specific humor activity with the hopes that it helps you get started using humor by sharing all the details you need to repeat something I already know works. My favorite such exercise turns your peers into zombies.

Read Zombie Tag – A Teambuilding Exercise

3. The Power of Improv

I’m a huge proponent of applied improvisation and truly believe that improv can (and will) change the world. One post in particular wraps some of the wonderful life perspective that improv can provide into a nice list of ten.

Read 10 Life Tips from Improv Class

4. A Proper News Story

I’ve shared a number of personal updates over the years, all with the goal of keeping you abreast of what was going on behind-the-scenes of the company. No post was more meaningful than reflecting on my decision to leave my corporate job to pursue this project of humor at work.

Read 3 Year Anniversary of Leaving P&G

5. My Most Popular Post According to Google

The goal of the blog has always been to provide practical resources to various challenges. As an introvert, one challenge I ran into was creating engaging conversation with peers and coworkers, so I created a list of questions I could use to avoid terrible small talk. It turns out other people were looking for the same thing because this is my most popular post based on Google search traffic.

Read 50 Questions to Get to Know Someone

6. An Ancillary Skill

Humor That Works has never been exclusively about humor; it’s always been about being more effective. It just turns out that humor is one of the keys to being effective, even on personal tasks like learning how to wake up in the morning.

Read How to Stop Hitting Snooze

7. A Post to Prove My Mom Wrong

Inspiration can come from all sorts of places, including the radio / iTunes / Spotify. It’s why I decided to create an entire database of office humor–to curate inspiration into one spot. One of my favorite collections is that inspirational hip hop lyrics. Growing up, my mom was never a fan of me listening to rap (she didn’t like the lyrical content) but I realized that there’s a lot of positivity in the hip hop, so I wrote a post to prove her wrong.

Read 12 Inspirational Lyrics from Hip Hop

8. One of the Best Business Books

Reading has always been a great way to clarify my own thinking and ideas, particularly around humor at work. Periodically, I take the time to share what I’ve learned from what I’ve read. Peter F Drucker is one of those people who has taught me a great deal from his writings. His book, The Effective Executive is perhaps the first truly life-changing non-fiction book I ever read. So I shared some of the most important lessons from the book.

Read 12 Effectiveness Lessons from The Effective Executive

9. One of the Best Fiction Books

I think you can learn just as much from fiction as you can from non-fiction, and I set out to prove it by sharing some of the greatest wisdom from one of my favorite books and one of the most successful graphic novels of all time: The Watchmen.

Read Life Lessons from The Watchmen

10. A Post that Makes Me Smile

Building off the idea of getting inspiration from unlikely places, I found a site dedicated to creating inspirational picture quotes using prompts, error messages, and readouts from machines. It’s fantastic.

Read Unintentionally Profound Life Advice from Machines

Looking for More?

Still looking for more? Check out any of the other 700+ posts on the blog or read one at random.

People Storm Twitter to Describe Their Struggles With Dating Using Memes and It’s Too Relatable

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Can You Learn to Be Funny? Yes

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of speaking at the same event as Kevin Richardson, aka the Lion Whisperer, aka this dude:

Before the event, he and I were talking and when he found out I did stand-up comedy, his reaction was, “I could never do that, it’s too scary.” This, from a guy who LIVES WITH LIONS.

But that’s what a lot of people think; they think being funny is something you’re either born with or you will never be able to do.

The reality is that humor is a skill. And if it’s a skill, that means humor can be learned.

I’ve done over 1,000 shows as a performer. I’ve spoken or performed in all 50 states, 18 countries, and 3 continents. I’ve opened for Pauly Shore, performed with Rachel Dratch, and had a joke go viral.

And yet, a few years ago, when I went to my high school reunion and old classmates found out I did comedy, their response was, “But you’re not funny.”

In some ways they were right because this is not the face of funny:

awkward school dance photo

There is a lot that’s funny about this picture, but none of it is intentional. I have the old school blonde tips; my clothes are too baggy for me; the theme was “Into a Dream…” I am no one’s dream in this picture.

Growing up, I was never the life of the party or class clown. I am very much an introvert; if you know Myers-Briggs, I’m INTJ. If you know Star Wars, I’m R2D2.

But in college, my best friend wanted to start an improv group, he needed people and forced me to join. And I was terrible. I tried too hard to be clever, I made only bad jokes, and I was constantly nervous.

But over time, with practice and repetition, I got better. The nerves went away, I felt more comfortable on stage, and I started to see the world through a more humorous lens.

As I improved on stage, first as an improviser and then as a stand-up comedian, I also became funnier in everyday situations. I started adding humor to my presentations, at the end of my emails, and in conversations. My reaction time was quicker, I was able to think faster on my feet, and I had better delivery when I added a funny comment to a conversation.

Soon, I became obsessed with learning everything I could about comedy. I read every comedy book I could find, went to live shows every week, and watched comedy specials over and over to see how different comedians made people laugh. I also practiced and performed nearly every single day.

Then, as Humor That Works started to grow, I started teaching comedy. First to people who wanted to do stand-up or improv, then to people who wanted to add it to their presentations, then to people who just wanted to be wittier in everyday situations.

Along the way, my belief has been reaffirmed: you can learn to be funny. Or at least, funnier.

There’s no magic formula to learning to be as funny as Louis CK, Eddie Izzard, or Ellen (some of my favorites). That takes years of hard work, hours of practice (10,000+ if we believe Malcolm Gladwell), and probably some intangibles that we’ll never truly know.

But anyone can learn to be witty in conversations, to add humor to their work, or to write funny tweets. Because if this kid…

awkward graduation picture

… can learn to do it, anyone can.

So how does one learn to be funny? That’s what I’ll be explaining over the next series of blog posts or you can check out my TEDx talk on the Skill of Humor. To get the posts as they come out, follow me on Twitter or Facebook, or sign up for the Humor That Works newsletter.

Fisher-Price Rolls Out a New Line of Complexes with Exercise Bike for Kids

Cheezburger Image 1324805

Parents are concerned about how active their kids are. But rather than, you know, taking their kids outside, they’re relying on Fisher-Price to get their kids moving without actually going anywhere.

At CES, Fisher-Price introduced a new stationary exercise bike for kids to ride and that parents can just plop an iPad in front of and forget about. Finally, a way for your kid to play video games and feel the burn.

via Maroon 5

According to CNN, “The system is Bluetooth-enabled so the bike could work with the apps played on platforms such as Apple TV and Android TV. App dashboards tell parents how much time their child has spent peddling and what he or she has learned in that duration.”

So now not only does your kid get hours of guilt-free screen time, but also they can enjoy all the healthy obsessing over exercise that their parents do. A toy that brings the whole family together.

Submitted by: (via CNN)

This 105-Year-Old Man Just Set a New Cycling World Record, So Maybe You Could Go Outside Once Today

bicycle world record win - 1325317

Age ain’t nothing but an excuse.

This 105-year-old man just set a new cycling world record. 105. Years. Old. Our target demo is, like, 14 to 30, which means you have no excuse for spending so much time with those dang video games. X-Box One. More like X-Box None until you set a world record.

via Burger Records

The Associated Press reports that Robert Marchand, who had once been told by a coach to give up because he was never going to achieve anything on that bike, “set a world record in the 105-plus age category — created especially for the tireless veteran — by riding 22.547 kilometers (14.010 miles) in one hour.”

Marchand isn’t just a world record holder, he’s spent time during his 105 years working as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a lumberjack, and only took up biking at 68. Man, we’re all so pathetic compared to this dude.

The Huffington Post says that “the cyclist can attribute his athleticism to eating fruits and vegetables, not smoking, drinking wine in moderation, exercising daily and going to bed at 9 p.m.”

Better get to work.

Submitted by:

Tagged: bicycle , world record , win

Bernie Sanders Brought a Big Sign to the Senate and a New Meme to Twitter

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It’s been shown time and time again that if you show the internet a big, white sign, they’re going to do whatever they want with it.

Need I remind you of this stupid thing:

via Uproxx

I didn’t think so. Well, someone should’ve reminded Senator Bernie Sanders, the guy who all your most annoying friends insist “would’ve won." Yes, Sen. Sanders printed out one of President-elect Donald Trump’s tweets to make the point that the reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year might not be telling the truth.

Naturally, people loved the idea of Bernie holding up a big white sign because it’s really easy to Photoshop. Check out some of the best new Bernie signs:

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Inspiration of the Day: Man Confirms John Oliver Paid His Medical Debt

Last year, John Oliver bought $14.9 million dollars of medical debt for $60,000 on a Last Week Tonight segment. And now the man who was relieved of that debt is speaking out.

On Reddit, user EricHill posted a letter from Last Week Tonight explaining that his debt had been cleared. 



via Reddit

According to Mashable


“Not only had the comedian paid the debt, he also alleviated Eric of having to pay any taxes on his "cancellation of debt" income. That's because the series paid for Eric's debt through "RIP Medical Debt," as a 501(c)(3) charity. Eric's debt was paid off, no strings attached.

“The show cautioned that this was for this medical debt only and not future medical debts.”

So while everyone might not care about John Oliver, John Oliver certainly cares about something.

Submitted by: (via LastWeekTonight)

Skater of the Day: This Blind Skateboarder Is Amazing

Lots of us played Tony Hawk: Pro Skater and expected to leave the house doing kickflip to tailslide to bluntslide to that Chad Muska beats-slide where he pulls out a boombox. But very few of us could.

Still there are skateboarders who can trump the impossible things we’ve seen in video games. One of them is Dan Mancina, a skateboarder who is legally blind.

Mancina, who’s vision started to fade at 13, only has a slight amount of peripheral vision and a cane, but he’s still able to pull off some things most could only dream of — namely skating with a smooth controlled style. That’s the real money.

But according to Spolid, that’s not all that Mancina can do. In the video compilation “Dan Mancina Does Stuff Blind,” he chops wood, throws a bullseye, and fires a machine gun. Let this be an inspiration to all of us.




via Jenkem

Check out a full interview with Mancia over at Jenkem.

Submitted by: (via Jenkem)

McDonald’s of the Day: The One in Vatican City, Which Is Now Open

mcdonalds opens new restaraunt in vatican city

Blessed be he, the Grimace.

That’s right. Grimace, Fry Guy, and Ronald McDonald are opening up shop right next to the Pope in downtown Vatican City, catering to the some six-millions tourists that pass through those hollowed grounds every year.

Not everyone’s looking to give the Hamburglar forgiveness, though. Only God may judge the Hamburglar.

via Geek

According to Vice, the new McDonald’s is "at the corner Borgo Pio and Via del Mascherino, a mere block and a half—about 100 yards—from the famous St Peter’s Square. While neighbors already displeased by vendors hawking knickknacks in the area have complained that the McDonald’s would be a 'decisive blow on an already wounded animal,' at least one Cardinal is also saying leasing Vatican real estate to Ronald McDonald isn’t in keeping with the Church’s mission.”

Vice recieved an official response from McDonald’s, which stated they are occupying “a popular tourist area outside the Vatican that already has many other restaurants, bars, and retail shops… As is the case whenever McDonald’s operates near historic sites anywhere in Italy, this restaurant has been fully adapted with respect to the historical environment.”

McDonald’s isn’t the only chain that’s coming to the Vatican. Hard Rock Cafe is coming to Via della Conciliazione, answering the prayers of millions who want yet another Hard Rock Cafe, apparently.

Enjoy the Vatican, tourists, it’s yours now!


via YouTube

Submitted by: (via Huffington Post)

Video of the Day: Watch This Bear Mascot Fall Down Over and Over in These Car Dealership Commercial Outtakes

Sometimes, a video comes along that perfectly encapsulates the culture. At one point, it was “Charlie Bit My Finger.” Then came “The Sneezing Baby Panda” and, of course, “Drummer at the Wrong Gig.” 

Now, in 2017, is the time of the “White Bear Mitsubishi’s Gopher Hockey Outtakes — White Bear on Ice.”

This video delivers. You want to see a bear mascot slipping on ice over and over? Well, you got it. The description asks “How many takes to have a White Bear not slip on the ice during a commercial shoot?” But the real question is how many times can we ask. The answer: As many as it takes.

Enjoy this video, bookmark this video, and watch it whenever you’re feeling a little blue.

This is your failsafe.

H/T Gothamist

Submitted by: (via whitebearautos)

Tagged: outtakes , mascot , ice , Bloopers , funny

Ugh of the Day: Matt Lauer Wears Choker on Today and That’s It For Me Have a Great Year, Everybody

Cheezburger Image 1319941

2016 was terrible for a lot of reasons, and while we had hopes for 2017, four days in, they are no more.

Matt Lauer wore a choker on the Today Show.

If you’re overcome with religious or spiritual shock. Please remain calm.

Allow me to say it again. Matt Lauer wore a choker on the Today Show. It’s a crushing blow to humankind. Thankfully, we’re all here to get through this national crisis together, Matt Lauer wearing a choker.

Tonight, when you get home, hold your kids a little tighter, tell your parents and loved one that you love them, for who knows what nightmares tomorrow will bring.

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Return of the Day: Gap Employee Accepts Return from the Year 2000

tweet shows gap accepts return from 17 years ago

Save your receipts because if you don’t like something the Gap will accept your return, apparently.

This Gap employee accepted a return from almost 17 years ago, and trust us, this manager is nothing happy about it. Still, the red shirt-vest combo looks pretty dope.

via GIPHY

 

The worst part of all, the manager can’t figure out which one of his disrespectful employees returned the garb, so they had to post this sad letter to the wall.

Sigh.

When will you kids learn to follow protocol?!?

Submitted by: (via @woofjustin)

Tagged: twitter , retail , funny

Thing to Touch of the Day: Not These Five Everyday Things Because Science They’re the Grossest

five grossest thing we use everyday

Take a seat because that toilet isn’t nearly as disgusting as the hand towel.

TIME magazine talked to Charles Gerba, a professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, to get the dirty truth about what’s the grosses thing in the bathroom. Turns out, you’re probably touching them in hopes of getting cleaner. But you’re wrong. Dead wrong. Nothing is safe. Germs everywhere.

via Looopism


According to Gerba, the top five grosses things are:

  1. Bathroom Towel because bacteria grows in moist conditions, especially in things that, like, never get washed.
  2. Toothbrush Holder — Again, because you never clean that thing.
  3. Kitchen Sponge — There’s a reason you don’t like touching that thing and it’s because it’s filled with bacteria. You want something you can wash, like a brush.
  4. Cellphones — You probably already knew this because Japan is putting those smart phone wipes in bathrooms.
  5. Supermarket Carts — I can’t even read this quote from Gerba — too scary— so you have to: “Almost 100% of them are home to E. coli because people are constantly touching the handles after holding raw food products.”

You can read more about the millions of tiny things that’ll make you sick and kill you over at TIME, but I don’t see why you’d want to. The germs are everywhere. We’re all doomed.

via Gif Bay

Submitted by: (via LinkedIn)

Tagged: scary , germs , science

Question of the Day: Billy On The Street Asks: “Do Gay People Care About John Oliver?”

Apparently the answer is a resounding “No.”

Billy Eichner, the screaming, yelling, hollering host of Billy on the Street, hit his normal beat this week with John Oliver of HBO’s Last Week Tonight. As per Eichner’s thing, he wants to deflate the star of whoever is on the show with him. Sometimes it’s telling people that Seth Rogen is dead when Rogen is standing right next to him, and this time it was asking gay people if they care about John Oliver.

via Previously.TV

Accosting people on the street and asking them if they're gay and if they "care about John Oliver, Billy gets to the heart of one of the most pressing questions of the modern age: "Do gay people care about John Oliver?"The answer, for the most part, is still no. But one thing Eichner does discover: Many gay people love Wendy Williams.

via sseureki

Submitted by: (via Billy On The Street)

Discovery of the Day: Man Finds Mosaic of Mandy Moore in His New Apartment Shower

mandy moore twitter weird - 1319685

via @walkerkaplan

New York City apartment: $1.2 million

Finding a Mandy Moore mosaic in the bathroom: Priceless.

Scott recently bought an apartment in Queens and found a beautiful mosaic in the bathroom. It turns out, however, that the mosaic isn’t just any old thing. It’s of Mandy Moore, popstar.

There’s not much to this story, except mystery. How long has this mosaic been there? Perhaps placed by the ancient ones? Why was it put there? What’s it trying to tell us? Not even Mandy Moore knows.

Twitter is trying to get to the bottom of this.

Submitted by:

Tagged: mandy moore , twitter , weird

Attempted Dab of the Day: Paul Ryan Shuts Down Lawmaker’s Son’s Dab During Photo Op

As Eminem once said, “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow because opportunity knocks once in a lifetime.”

That’s how the son of Kansas Rep. Roger Marshall felt during a quick photo op at his father’s swearing in ceremony. As House Speaker Paul Ryan turned and smiled for the camera, Marshall’s son went for a quick, inconspicuous, and heroic dab.

That’s when Ryan, perhaps, smelling dissent in the air turned and shut it down, like so many public healthcare initiatives.



via CNN

Ryan asks the young man, “Are you going to sneeze?”

The boy, having just taken his only opportunity to embarrass his father, future self, and the guy who’s only dream is to have 100% privatized healthcare, put his hand down for the picture. The people, once again, have been crushed.

Aftermath:

Paul Ryan admits that he’s totally out of touch with young voters:

Rep. Marshall jails his son for something that’s clearly protected by the First Amendment:

Keep fighting.

 

Submitted by: (via CNN)

Roast of the Day: Wendy’s Twitter Account is Destroying People Left and Right — Yes, That Wendy’s

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via GIPHY

What is happening on Wendy’s twitter?

After destroying a dude so badly the other day that he quit twitter, the Twitter feed of a fast-food restaurant known for something called the “Baconator” has been roasting all comers.

Wendy’s seems like it’s tired of playing third fiddle to McDonald’s and Burger King and is trying to establish place as the resident bad girl of the fast-food game. Their time has come. They will no longer be known for their square burgers. While the other guys might fry their food, we know Wendy’s is the only place to get roasted.

Check it out:

Submitted by:

Story of the Day: Watch Tom Hardy Reading a Bedtime Story, Which Sounds Like He’s Holding Gotham City Ransom

Bane. Mad Max. Charles Bronson. Mother Goose?

Tom Hardy is mostly known for playing anti-social, bloodthirsty monsters. With his rich British accent and hulking physique, Hardy is an indomitable and unsuspecting screen presence known for tapping into the rawest parts of the human psyche. His voice synonymous with the eloquent ravings of a madman; his actions, the missing link between the modern and primordial man.

via Wiffle Gif

So it should come as no surprise that Tom Hardy reading a bedtime story about a party that requires guests wear a hat sounds like he’s reading a malevolent riddle to the good people of Gotham City.

Appearing on the BBC’s CBeeBies BedTime Story on New Years Eve, Hardy chilled on a couch — golden retriever on his lap, giant stuffed monkey to his side — to read You Must Bring a Hat, a darling children’s book by Simon Philip and Kate Hindly. The story of a young man who was invited to a party with a very specific set of instructions, You Must Bring a Hat, as read by Tom Hardy, sounds like something Charles Bronson says before he beats someone in prison.

Tell me that, “All penguins accompanying pink-tutu-wearing elephants MUST bring with them a suitcase full of cheese” doesn’t sound like something this guy would say:

via Space Cadet

Or “You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it.” Ok. That was from The Dark Knight Rises, but the point is because Hardy’s voice is closely connected to these lunatic characters, You Must Bring a Hat sounds like something they would say. Especially considering the book puts such dire emphasis on the whole “you must bring a hat to this party thing.”

Anyway, check out the video, close your eyes, and imagine Mad Max muttering this story under his breath.

via Fox Searchlight

Submitted by: (via Tom_Hardy_ Italia)

Robot of the Day: Meet Kuri, the Moving Amazon Echo That’ll Replace Your Pet

Say “Hello” to Kuri, a new robot that follows you around, charges on its own, plays music, and loves you. 

Reporting from the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, Mashable introduced us to Kuri, who we fell in love with immediately. It's basically a cat that you can control and at least pretends to like you. 

Mashable write, "The 14-pound, 20-inch robot from Mayfield Robotics makes its debut this week at CES in Las Vegas. There’s no complicated touch screen or even an animated face. Instead, the rolling bot has a round head that can look up at you with two simple eyes (it even has plastic eyelids) and a cone-like body with a pair of what appear to be fixed, gray plastic arms." 

What does Kuri do exactly? Well, so far, all we know is that it wheels around your house, plays music, and apparently entertains children (although, the ad cuts before we see exactly how Kuri plays). 




In this ad, it shows how much better Kuri is than a parrot. 



Anyway, Kuri follows you around and plays music and can read stories. It’s just like the Jetsons. It's $699. Again, what Kuri does is still a mystery. Slap a vacuum cleaner under this thing, and you've got yourself a sale. 

Submitted by: (via Kuri Robot)

Tagged: electronics , robots

Website of the Day: This Site Captures the Madness of 404 Error Pages

Cheezburger Image 1317893

404. The number of the beast on the Internet. It means whatever you’re looking for is missing or possibly gone forever.

But there’s a certain magic to the 404 page.

Two artists, along with Vice Motherboard, have turned the worst webpage in the world into a work of bizarre art.

The 404error.gallery is a chance to see how far the 404 error could be taken. According to Motherboard, the 404error gallery was designed by artists and lecturer at the University of South Wales Matthew Britton and his friend Brett O’Connor. They “gave artists a week to respond to the concept of designing a 404 error page. The artist replies are now part of the ongoing archive at the 404error gallery online and there's 17 ace designs so far.”

Check out the website here. 

Submitted by: (via 404error.gallery)

Fans of ‘The Office’ Now Have a Website Where They Can Find the Perfect Stare for Every Mood

Office fans now can now find a stare for any emotion. Some popular searches are happy:



Worried:



Defeated: 



Apparently there are 706 stares to choose from, and if you watch them all there is supposed to be a surprise video at the end. 

Submitted by: (via theofficestaremachine)

Tagged: Video , website , the office

Meltdown of the Day: Racist Passenger Loses It On Flight Attendant For Having to Sit in Middle Seat

Word to the wise: If you’re stuck in the middle seat between two family members, don’t have a total racist, homophobic freak out. Put on your headphones or something.

If only we could have offered that massage to this dude in the hat who went on a total bigotted tear on a United Airlines flight out of Auckland, NZ yesterday.




via Sapphire

According to SFist, “An angry man allegedly launched into a racist and homophobic rant after being seated between two other passengers of Indian or Pakistani descent on a San Francisco-bound flight out of Sydney on New Year's Day, leading to a confrontation with a flight attendant and the plane being diverted to Auckland and grounded there overnight.”

Can you imagine that? Being seated between two people who are talking. Ugh. What a nightmare! Well, that’s what this guy thought too. Apparently, his anger escalated from a rant about “Indians to Asians to Muslims to non-whites in general.” Imagine if he had just asked one his row mates to switch seats? After being asked to stop by flight attendant, whom he also had some words for, the pilot re-routed back to Auckland. He was then taken by police, where one might assume he got the middle seat in a cop car.

The whole experience was caught was caught by Neil Kay, who made some new friends because of the experience.  

Call me crazy, but it seems like they're having a better time than the dude who had the racist freak out.

Submitted by: (via Claudia HQ)

Job of the Day: Hot Topic Employee Deserves a Medal for Dealing with This Bizarre Customer, “The Eternal Dragon Guardian of Time”

hot topic employee deals with strange customer dragon guardian

You think it’s annoying dealing with Jeremy from accounting, try dealing with this dude who will soon become “The Eternal Dragon Guardian of Time.”

This Hot Topic employee is a real champ, engaging in the ramblings of royal being from another realm. How nice of them to respond to a statement like “my scales are turning gold, like my father’s” with “Well, that’s good then.” Or this classic exchange:

"I do not have rights to your soul."

"Oh, yeah, for real."

How else can you respond?

It’s hard to imagine a GAP employee or Hollister cashier having a light-hearted chat with a deity whose human form resembles Kevin Smith, but that’s why Hot Topic employees deserve a metal. Not only are they selling shirts that read “Can’t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me,” but also they are the keepers of the peace between the human realm and the dragon realm, using the calming language of “Oh my goodness” and “Honest in all honesty.”

Originally posted by Twitter user @pamyuprince, the words of the Hot Topic employee shall ring through time, so that all may hear the dragon lord'a dictation. Also, someone made a mockup of one of their best lines on a shirt:

Submitted by: (via @Axikor2)

Destination of the Day: Finland Because They’re Giving 2,000 Citizens Guaranteed Income

finnish government offering guaranteed income to the unemployed

While everyone’s packing their bags for Canada, the smart ones will be headed for Finland.

“Why Finland?” you ask. Well, the Finnish government is going to be the first European country to pay the unemployed a basic monthly income of €560 or $587.

This isn’t just done for nothing. This is a social experiment, which aims to “cut government red tape, reduce poverty and boost employment, according to The Guardian.

via GIPHY

The experiment won’t be open to everyone, but rather 2,000 randomly picked citizens who are already on unemployment. The trial will run for the next two years.

Olli Kangas of KELA, the Finnish government agency responsible for the program said of the experiment, “It’s highly interesting to see how it makes people behave. Will this lead them to boldly experiment with different kinds of jobs? Or, as some critics claim, make them lazier with the knowledge of getting a basic income without doing anything?”

Either way:

Submitted by: (via Andy Hodes)

Tagged: Finland , money , moving , moving day

Dub of the Day: Genius Overdubs Star Wars Episode III Using Bootleg Subtitles and the Movie is Good Now

youtuber overdubs all of star wars episode iii with mandarin subtitles backstroke of the west

Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith is the movie your annoying friend points to when you mention how much you didn’t like the prequels. They say this despite this scene:



via theherowithnofear

But finally, someone actually fixed Episode III, so that it’s watchable. You may remember about ten years ago, when the movie hit DVD, people were sharing a clip of the movie overdubbed in Mandarin with the English subtitles on, resulting in this in the Do Not Want meme.

Well, a YouTuber has decided to go back and overdub the whole movie with those subtitles, resulting in the official way we all have to watch Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith, or how it will forever be known Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West.

So now Anakin’s classic line “From my point of view the Jedi are evil” is now



Check out the amazingly-named YouTuber, GratefulDeadpool's work here: 

Submitted by: (via GratefulDeadpool)

Request of the Day: Singer Rebecca Ferguson Would Only Sing at Trump’s Inauguration Under One Condition

singer Music Inauguration donald trump rebecca ferguson politics - 1315333

“The Trump Inauguration Party for Freedom That’s Not Sad, But Rather Good Bash at the Beach 2017” has had a hard time finding performers. Between Elton John giving them a flat out “book Ted Nugent,” a woman quitting the Mormon Tabernacle choir because she saw performing the inauguration as “endorsing tyranny and fascism,” and the team just going ahead and booking a bunch of wedding bands, it’s starting to look like DJ Barron’s going to be pumping the mega mix from his iPod Touch all night. 

Well, things haven’t changed much.

Apparently, the Trump team has asked Rebecca Ferguson a chart-topping singer-songwriter and X-Factor runner-up to perform.

After being asked, Ferguson had one request: She would sing the Billie Holiday song “Strange Fruit,” which, as TIME puts it, “contains gut-wrenching imagery of black lynching victims swinging from Southern tree limbs in the early 20th century. The phrase ‘strange fruit’ refers to ‘black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,’ and the song is widely considered one of the major anti-racist songs of the 20th century.”

Ferguson made her response to the Trump team public on Twitter

“I've been asked and this is my answer. If you allow me to sing "strange fruit" a song that has huge historical importance, a song that was blacklisted in the United States for being too controversial. A song that speaks to all the disregarded and down trodden black people in the United States. A song that is a reminder of how love is the only thing that will conquer all the hatred in this world, then I will graciously accept your invitation and see you in Washington. Best Rebecca X”

Ferguson certainly knows how to make a statement.

Submitted by: (via Variety)

Illusion of the Day: This Artist’s Work Will Blow Your Mind and Question Reality *Inception Noise*

Cheezburger Image 1315077

Artist Howard Lee is good at what he does, and what he does is make incredibly lifelike pictures of everything from little cute penguins to mouthwatering butterfingers. Sweet, delicious butterfingers. Then he goes one step farther.

Howard animates his still-life paintings and creates the illusion that they are the real thing. These amazing side-by-side pictures and animations will have you questioning reality, and in some cases, make you really hungry for a hot dogs.

Submitted by: (via Howard Lee)

Trip of the Day: Baggage Handler Gets Locked in Cargo and Flies from North Carolina to Washington, DC

baggage handler locked inside cargo flown from north carolina to dc

Note to self: This will not get you more frequent flier miles.

According to NBC, a baggage handler accidentally got locked inside the cargo hold of a plane and was flown from Charlotte, NC to Washington, DC on Sunday. Hey, it beats coach! Airline food is bad! Ugh, security, can’t I keep my belt on? Ok. Got all the flying jokes out.

NBC reports that it’s still unknown as to how he got in there or how anyone found out about him, but it’s still be treating like a security issue.

And what about this? Who wouldn’t rather take the cargo hold than have an Angelica Pickles behind you?

via Cheezburger

Stop.

The handler, luckily, was ok. The cabin was pressurized, and he refused medical attention upon landing. But that’s more than I can say for that antique vase that I was forced to check! Air travel is the worst! Coach! Ok. No more of airline material. 


via Testing 1, 2, 3

 

Submitted by: (via World Warotter)

Beef of the Day: Soulja Boy Just Put Chris Brown on Blast and Twitter Is Not Having It

Cheezburger Image 1314821

Soulja Boy must love hamburgers because this guy’s all about beef.

After receiving our coveted Beef of the Day last month, when he famously told movie star and robot-fighting man Shia LaBeouf to stay out of Atlanta, he’s at it again.

via Mark Vomit

This time Soulja has turned his sights on R&B singer and domestic abuser Chris Brown, and he’s telling the world.

Apparently, Chris Brown didn’t like Soulja Boy liking a picture of Karrueche Tran, Brown’s ex, on Instagram. So, according to Soulja Boy, Brown called him up on FaceTime, and the next thing you know, Soulja Boy is telling the whole NSFW story to Instagram. Again, NSFW.

So it looks like Soulja Boy isn’t making any new friends this new year and is instead publicly threatening people.

This is old news to Twitter, who seems to be getting kind of tired of Soulja Boy’s many beefs. Looks like a lot of people made the same New Year’s resolution: Go vegetarian.

Submitted by: (via Hollywood Unlocked)

Problem of the Day: Listen Up, This 4-Year-Old Girl Has a Lot of Problems with New Year’s Resolutions

She might not be able to ride a bicycle and her little brother might not be potty trained, but this little girl gets it.

Every year for the last four years, she has seen people set these New Year’s resolutions and for what? They think they can just make this promise to themselves, and that’s it. They either make it happen or don't? Well, she’s had it up to hear with you and your resolutions.

Basically, go easy on yourself, ok? Yeesh. Stop spending the rest of the year, beating yourself up about your resolution. It’s not gonna happen all at once. Ugh. Just listen to the little girl. She’ll set you straight.

Submitted by: (via Tingman)

Proposal of the Day: Woman So Excited About Proposal, She Falls Off Stage

It’s the happiest moment of your life, when that special someone pops their shirt off and pops the question.

Some people don’t know how to react to this. For some, a tearful “yes” will suffice. For others, falling through a stage is the only response.

That’s what Texan woman Endyugi Shoedarsono did when her shirtless boyfriend proposed to her during a music festival in Dallas. Mediaite reported, “Boyfriend Jeff Jackson got on one knee at a Crizzly show to ask her to marry him while Colton Carlyle filmed the whole thing and caught the tumble.” True love exists.

Endyugi’s ok, though. She posted on Facebook.

Don't feel too bad, Endyugi, it happens to the best of us. Even Kelsey Grammer, TV's Frasier. 



via billschoe43

Submitted by: (via ColtonCarlyle)

Tagged: FAIL , funny

Cartoon of the Day: People Are Losing It Over This New Yorker Cartoon

Cheezburger Image 1310725

New Yorker cartoons aren’t for everybody. Sometimes they aren't for anybody because they make no sense and aren’t funny.

via  José Soto Galindo

Today’s New Yorker cartoon, however, wasn’t met with the usual snorts of agreement or complete confusion of your standard panel. Cartoonist Will McPhail took aim at the president-elect and his supporters, and you’ll never believe it, some people really like that, and some people do not. Some see this as a potent metaphor for the rise of a reality TV gameshow host and his lack presidential qualification to take the country, others see it as another attack from the elite New Yorker to tell the rest of the country how to live. Whatever it is, the mustachioed man in the cartoon does not look like he's in the mood to fly a plane.

Check out what some people are saying about the cartoon.

Submitted by:

Parade of the Day: The Rose Parade Has a Float With Surfing Dogs — Yes, Surfing Dogs

dogs twitter parade surfing funny - 1309189

Get ready for the world’s greatest float. The Rose Parade isn’t the most famous parade. It’s no Macy’s, for sure. Well, all that’s about to change because they've got dogs on surfboards now. 

via GIPHY

This year’s Rose Parade, which started at 8am in Pasadena, California and celebrated the New Year with a special float: One with surfing dogs.

The Rose Parade is “America’s New Year Celebration,” a festival of flowers, music, and sports, according to their website. Now it’s a festival that features surfing dogs. That’s right, you’ve seen them on t-shirts at the boardwalk for years, now see them in person. Surfing dogs.

Enjoy these surfings dogs.

Submitted by:

Tagged: dogs , twitter , parade , surfing , funny

Mariah Carey’s Brazen Attitude While Being Busted for Lip Synching Might Have Been the Most Fitting Way to Close Out 2016

Mariah Carey was recently caught lip syncing at the Dick Clark's New Year Rockin' Eve 2017. She "performed" her hit songs, 'We Belong Together' and 'Emotions' with zero f**ks given.

Submitted by: (via Viral Videos)

Advertisement of the Day: This Subway Ad Looks Like Something Out of Mad Max

Cheezburger Image 1308677

Suddenly, Black Mirror doesn't seem so crazy.

We get a little bit closer to that dystopian future of our dreams everyday, and sometimes an advertisement notices how close we are.

A subway billboard in Beijing has done just that.

The advertisement is for a sports haze mask and features a female running with a face mask that looks like a souvenir from Fury Road. A sports haze mask is for people attempting to exercise in heavy smog areas, like Beijing.

Twitter reacted, as it's wont to do, welcoming the new oncoming dystopia.

Submitted by:

History of the Day: The Hollywood Sign Transformations and Pranks

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On New Year's Day, residents woke up to see that the famous "Hollywood" sign had fallen victim to a prank overnight.
But this wasn't the first time the Hollywood sign has fallen victim to a prank or been altered. Here's a quick list of the changes the sign has seen since its creation.

Submitted by:

Tagged: history , hollywood , prank

Game of the Day: Ariana Grande is Going to be a Final Fantasy Character

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Ariana Grande’s fantasies are about to become a reality.

The pop star is going to be an avatar in the next Final Fantasy game, Final Fantasy: Brave Exvius. The game, which will be available for iPhone and Android, features Grande in her rabbit costume from her Dangerous Woman album cover.

 

via Wikipedia

The internet seems pretty excited to play as Ariana Grande, as they proclaimed this another move in the right direction for 2017. Check out some of the reactions below:

Submitted by:

Explanation of the Day: This Video Dissects How Donald Trump Tweets — Interesting!

How does Trump bring the world to its knees in 140 characters? This YouTuber things he knows the answer.

President-elect Donald Trump, the reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year, can cause an international incident with only the power of his thumbs. Through Twitter, Trump delivers the unfiltered id that is our next four years, but what is he looking to accomplish by sending so many into a panic? There isn’t a whole lot of room for nuance or explanation in a Tweet, and those details are critical. Now, as his incoming press secretary said that he’ll be making major policy announcements via Twitter, it’s worth understanding how Trump tweets.

via Reality TV Gifs

This video from the Nerdwriter does a great job breaking down the tweets by device, tone, and punctuation to come to this conclusion: Trump isn’t using Twitter like a politician, he’s using it like regular person. Trump tweets for impact, and he knows how to do it. The Nerdwriter gets into some of the science of tweeting and more. Check it out. 

Submitted by: (via Nerdwriter1)

Flavor of the Day: There Are White Cheesecake M&Ms Now and We’re Powerless to Resist

mms releasing white cheesecake flavor at walmart for valentines day

2017 just got a lot sweeter. 

First, there was that whole “Hollyweed” sign, and now this, white cheesecake-flavored M&Ms. It’s like we’re already putting more effort into this year, and we’re putting as much good into the world as possible.

However, Mars candy, the maker of M&Ms, isn’t bearing the brunt of this responsibility to make 2017 the best. They’re merely providing us with a little inspiration. These little round beauties are only available at Walmart through Valentine’s Day, so make the right choice and get your partner something they’ll truly love this year. 



via @theimpuslivebuy

According to Uproxx, cheesecake isn’t the only limited flavor coming to the M&M candy universe (MMCU). This May will see the release of Caramel M&Ms. Thank you for doing your part, Mars candy. 

Submitted by: (via Delish)

Tagged: candy , m&ms , m&ms

Look Back of Day: Seth Meyers Takes a Closer Look at 2016

From “the Closet Summit” to “Birdie Sanders,” the 2016 election was the never-ending nightmare that seems like it never ended. But it’s still worth a closer look, especially when Marco Rubio made allegations about not being able to trust people with small hands (among other things about small hands — man, 2016 really was awful).

Anyway, Seth Meyers recapped it all in his “Closer Look” segment. 12 months of horror in eight minutes of comedy. There are all those great things you forgot about, especially this:

via GIPHY 

and this: 

via Twitter

Maybe it wasn’t all bad. Wait, yes, it was.

 

Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)

Addition of the Day: Japanese Bathrooms Now Have Sanitary Wipes for Cleaning Your Smartphone

japanese bathrooms adding smartphone wipes

Japan might be about 14 hours ahead of New York, but sometimes it feels like the whole country is light years ahead of the world.

Bathrooms at Tokyo Narita International Airport now come equipped with wipes for your smartphone because those things are disgusting and, man, you need to clean it. Why are we just doing this now?

via Carly Googles

The company that installed them, NTT Docomo, Japan’s largest telecommunications company, said the wipes will be available until March 15, at which point you’ll be forced to clean your phone on your own time and hopefully not get sick. After all, “cell phones carry 10 times more bacteria than most toilet seats” — a man in Uganda even contracted Ebola after stealing one, according to Live Science.

NTT Docomo also provided a handy how-to video for using Japanese toilets and information about the wipes, which also include helpful information, like WiFi passwords. Sanitary, informative, and efficient, these wipes are what 2017 are all about. 



via Toru Sanitary/Reuters

So remember, if someone asks how often you should clean your phone, respond “as often as possible” because you now have no excuse.

via docomoOfficial

H/T Huffington Post

Submitted by: (via Toru Hanai/Reuters)

Tagged: bathroom , Japan

Prank of the Day: Someone Changed the Hollywood Sign to “Hollyweed,” Knows How to Start a Year

someone changed hollywood sign to read hollyweed

We’re off to a great start.

The first, only, and by default, best public prank of 2017 is here. Around 3:30 am on New Year’s day, someone snuck up to the Hollywood sign, threw several carefully cut tarps over the two Os so that they would look like Es, and disappeared, like a ninja in a cloud of smoke. The sign read “Hollyweed" until 12:30pm, when Stacy Isroelit, a spokeswoman for the Hollywood Sign Trust said that the tarps would be taken down.

The New York Times reported that the prank may be referencing new legislation for legalized recreational marijuana use, but Isroelit said, “It looks more like a New Year’s Eve prank.”

The suspect is still at large. Who knows if they’ll attack other American icons, like putting a joint in Teddy Roosevelt's mouth on Mount Rushmore or making the Statue of Liberty’s torch look like a bong. You know, other weed stuff.

Celebrities and cartoon characters are attempting to distance themselves form the crime.

Whoever did it, thank you for getting this year off on the right foot.

Submitted by: (via The New York Times)

Tagged: hollywood , prank

Don Lemon Gets Absolutely Wasted on TV During New Year’s, and Someone Live-Tweeted the Train-Wreck

don lemon news FAIL new years drunk cnn TV - 1307141

Dude had to get talked out of getting a nipple piercing at one point. And my personal favorite part of this whole catastrophe..."People are saying that I'm lit," Lemon said. "Yeah, I'm lit. Who cares?"

Submitted by:

Tagged: don lemon , news , FAIL , new years , drunk , cnn , TV

Iconic Photoshoot Locations Then Vs. Now

michael jackson tupac marilyn monroe einstein batman the fast and the furious - 1311749

phil_grishayev loves to visit iconic historical and movie locations and capture them as they appear now.

Here are just a few of the iconic locations he has revisited.

Submitted by:

Wish of the Day: Happy New Year from The Daily What and This Dog with Human Hands

Hi everyone, 

Just wanted to wish you a happy New Year, and to get things off on the right paw, here's a really cute dog with human hands to ring in the New Year with. 

Be safe and make strong choices! 

- TDW

Submitted by: (via Tim Ruivo)

Tagged: dogs , happy new year

Vigil of the Day: Star Wars Fans Everywhere Raise their Lightsabers and Salute Carrie Fisher

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The death of Carrie Fisher has affected millions around the world, and the tributes keep pouring in. 

In honor of the late actor, Alamo Drafthouse movie theater chain held a lightsaber vigil for Fisher last night in Anaheim, Ca and Austin, Tx, and the pictures are beautiful and accurately reflect the impact that Fisher had on millions.

Check out some pictures of the tributes.

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Rescue of the Day: Brendan Fraser’s Career, Which Some Fans are Trying to Save

fans try to save brendan frasers career through change org petition

Since the announcement of a new Mummy movie sans Brendan Fraser, fans of the former Encino Man have been making moves to save the 48-year-old actor’s career. Fraser, who has largely been unseen since his role in the (somehow) Oscar-winner Crash, has kept a low profile these last few years. But in the weeks since the Mummy trailer’s release, intense fan interest has emerged.

via Reddit

Over 34,000 signatures now grace a change.org petition to “Bring Brendan Fraser back into film/television.” Following his 2007, the petition reads, Fraser is required by law to pay $900,000 annually in alimony. The petition pleads with he networks to help get Fraser “back on his feet again” because “we miss him.”

Other efforts to rescue a man that has rescued us from a dull time at the movies many times over have included the #SaveBrendanFraser hashtag on Twitter and, as The New York Post points out, “successfully campaigned to get his ranking on IMDb among the top 500 actors.”

As for the new Mummy, Fraser has given Cruise his blessing saying, “Tom’s going to be great in it. He has incredible worldwide appeal.”

We miss you, Brendan. Good luck.

via Blingee

Submitted by: (via Aurora Nocte)

Tagged: actor , celeb , brendan fraser

Guy Handwrites Entire Script to ‘Bee Movie’ For His Girlfriend, In Most Romantic Gesture of 2016

boyfriend bee movie twitter romance win dating - 1300485

In what is hopefully the last bit of Bee Movie meme-ing this year, a freshman at Baylor University wrote the script to Bee Movie by hand for his girlfriend as some sort of Christmas gift. Who says romance isn’t dead ironic?

Conner Fastenau spent three hours, three human hours, 180-EARTH MINUTES, transcribing the 2007 script to Bee Movie, the film about a talking bee that Jerry Seinfeld made for some reason, as sign of his romantic attraction for an adult human woman. She reportedly “got a good laugh,” so it was “worth it,” Fastenau told Buzzfeed

via GIPHY

Bee Movie has been the subject of a strange resurgence of late. Earlier this year, someone put the script to Bee Movie on a shirt in really small print, and just last month, a video that featured all of Bee Movie except every time someone said “bee” the playback sped up went viral. The world continues to be in awe not only of Bee Movie’s very existence, but also ongoing cultural relevance.

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Fix of the Day: Don’t Drop Your iPhone in Lava Like These Guys, Unless You Want to See Something Cool

As Steve Jobs would say, "It just works."

The good thing about iPhones is that there is an infinite amount of ways to destroy them. Whether you’re interested in a crushing, a frying, or an old fashioned dunking in the toilet, there's a iPhone death for you. Unlike the actual phone, the destruction of an iPhone is entirely customizable.

However, few iPhone deaths are as cool as the one The Backyard Scientists pulled off in this video. Taking a page from Terminator 2: Judgement Day’s saddest scene, they dipped their iPhone in Lava to similar results. 


via Gifbay

This isn’t as sad as that moment, but it’s still really cool. Once it’s submerged, the iPhone comes completely apart. But the real money is when they pour the contents into a cast-iron pan, which looks straight-up like T-1000. You’ve got to check this out. 



via Sploid

Submitted by: (via The Backyard Scientists)

Tip of the Day: Comedian Expertly Trolls X-Men Director Brett Ratner on Twitter Because Director Didn’t Tip

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Tip of the day: Tip!

It’s not easy working for tips. It takes time, patience, and sometimes your own money. Some of you may think,
hey, get a better a job," but we should all at least be under the assumption that if you are doing a service, compensation is a required. Unless, we're looking at different form of economics, like one where we exchange Pez for goods and services.

via Gilmore Girls

Well, someone needed to tell Hollywood director Brett Ratner, who is worth $65 million. Ratner, who directed several monster hits, including the Rush Hour movies, Red DragonTower Heist, and X-Men: The Last Stand, bought an iPhone for $950 through a delivery app. But when it was delivered, he forgot to tip his delivery man.

Unbenownst to him, the delivery driver was a Los Angeles comedian named Ben Avery, who expected a tip. When Ratner failed to give him one to compensate for his time, energy, and gas, he decided to “tweet at him once a day asking for $5."

Avery told The Daily Dot, he figured “[Ratner] would probably block me or whatever. Two weeks go by of me tweeting at him until he finally responds.”

Check out the exchange from The Daily Dot and remember to always tip!

Submitted by: (via Business Insider)

Tagged: twitter , tips , movies , funny

Book of the Day: Book Entitled “Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration” is 206 Blank Pages

amazon selling empty book why trump deserves trust respect and admiration

Can’t wait for the movie! 

The new book Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration by David King is for sale on Amazon.

By all accounts, it’s a real book. There’s a jacket, a spine, paper pages, etc. By all accounts David King is a real author. The cover even declares him a “political analyst.” By all accounts, the unaccredited review on the cover, which reads “‘Refreshingly honest’” underneath five stars, is a real review. It has to be real or else why would they put it there?

The information inside supports this argument. King’s latest treatise on that why reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last month deserves trust, respect, and admiration is completely empty, not a word in it. It’s filled with blank, empty pages. Any question? The book’s description clears up any questions:

“This book is full of blank pages. Despite years of research, we could not find anything to say on this subject, so please feel free to use this book for notes.”

Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration is on sale now for $7.99. It’s Prime ready and the page features this advertisement:

Does that mean Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration is one of the best books of 2016? Probably not, but it really makes you think. 

Submitted by: (via @jigokunt)

Tagged: donald trump , books , funny

Surprise of the Day: Pessimism Might Be The Cure For Anger, Ugh, So Says Video That Probably Doesn’t Know Anything Anyway!

Ugh. I’m so angry!  Stupid video from School of Life doesn’t know anything! I don’t care if it has really nice animations and a compelling answer for why we humans express frustration through anger.

 

Sure, it makes total sense that we would grow angry because we are more hopeful that the world work without speed bumps; that partners understand us and we don’t lose important items. Fine, maybe hope is at the center of our expectations, and our outbursts are merely the expression of mismanaged expectations and calculations. But…

via Matt Andoz

But whatever. We’ll just continue being angry. Or as the video puts forth, use a healthy dose of pessimism to temper those expectations. If we could understand that the world isn’t going to work as expected all the time, we would be much better prepared for the world’s curveballs.

Submitted by: (via The School of Life)

Tagged: anger , tips

Tech of the Day: The Kissenger Gadget Lets You Kiss Your Phone When Your Lover’s Away — Nope, Nothing Sad About That

kissenger gadget lets you kiss over the internet and smartphone

Have you ever been alone late at night and dreamed of your lover’s sweet embrace, your lips longing for their's? Did you dream of a cold, lifeless machine that could replicate the feeling of your lips touching?

Dreams come true.

The Kissenger machine, developed by researchers from the Imagineering Lab at City Unviersity in London, allows you to plug your iPhone into a holster that looks like it has a sponge or something on it. You kiss the sponge and “high precision force sensors” measure the “dynamic forces at different parts of your lips during a kiss." Then the machine transmits those measurements via the Kissenger iOS app. Your partner recieves the kiss, and persumbly enjoy it. Yup,  totally normal and not weird or sad.

Ok. Let’s see who the website says this is for:

via Kissenger

Now you can kiss your favorite pop star, and they can indulge in your weird fantasy of kissing them. Fine. Let’s see what else is on this site. This picture: 



via Kissenger

Great. Yeah, all this seems on the level.

The Kissenger is still just a prototype and requires a headphone jack to plug into their weird kissing sponge, which means iPhone 7 users are safe for now.



via The Gadget Show

H/T The Verge

Submitted by: (via The Mirror)

Tagged: technology , kissing
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