(513): Is it weird that I have…

(513): Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?

(360): We played 2 very…

(360): We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.

(805): For real his Facebook page…

(805): For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.

Watch Melissa McCarthy And Jennifer Aniston Brilliantly Troll Science Deniers

How much do we really know about "gravity" anyway?

Seth Meyers Goes After Kellyanne Conway For Absurd Al Franken Criticism

"You work for a guy who's been accused by more than 12 women of sexual harassment and assault!"

Can’t Protect Them All

kids parenting signs - 7960166912

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She Suspects Nothing… Excellent…

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Muhahaha!

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A Good Christmas Card Gives a Glimpse Into Your Family’s Life…

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YOLO!

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(507): Hey do you or anyone you…

(507): Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops.

Never let your daughter borrow your laptop

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Oh God, Yes!

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Tagged: jesus , single , dating sites

“JO” Stands For, Um… Playing Checkers

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February 15th is Always Sad.

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Untitled

July 2nd 1979 Sad The Day Funk Died Vladimir Nabokov - 3152318720

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Patton Oswalt Uses Icky Sauna Analogy To Describe Donald Trump

Ewww.

24 Terrible Rules That Terrible People Live By, Part 1

By CRACKED Readers  Published: December 08th, 2017 

6 Movie Characters Whose Jobs Made No Sense Whatsoever

By Spencer Thew,Abraham Mireles,Jordan Breeding  Published: December 08th, 2017 

6 Ways The Star Wars Movies Were A Total Nightmare To Make

By Nimby Smith  Published: December 08th, 2017 

4 Awesome Stocking Stuffers (That Won’t Break The Bank)

By CRACKED Store  Published: December 08th, 2017 

5 Bad Sexual Decisions (And Why We Make Them)

By Ian Fortey  Published: December 08th, 2017 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun 47

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

Agnes for Dec 08, 2017 for 12/08/2017

Agnes for Dec 08, 2017

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Heathcliff for Dec 08, 2017 for 12/08/2017

Heathcliff for Dec 08, 2017

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B.C. for Dec 08, 2017

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Momma for Dec 08, 2017

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Colbert Brings Down The House By Using Trump’s Words Against Don Jr.

"Late Show" host slams the latest claims from the president's son.

Move Over, CVS

Funny picture of pharmacy, but it says "harmacy".

Submitted by: (via @emotionalclub)

Tagged: Memes

Other Uses For A Condom

Other Uses For A Condom

Other Uses For A Condom
fill me in
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Regular
Keywords: condoms uses life hacks comedy humor
Views: 16

Tinkle Bells, the Parasitic Poop Twig, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Marketing Stunt and more, in a Special Christmas Quick Fact List

QF-1016

QF-1017

QF-1018

QF-1019

QF-1020

QF-1021

QF-1022

QF-1023

QF-1024

QF-1025

1016: Mistletoe tends to spring from bird droppings that have fallen on trees, with the seeds having passed through the digestive tract of birds. From this, it should come as no surprise that the name “mistle” or “missel” meant “dung” and “toe,” which came from the Anglo-Saxon “tan,” meant “twig.” Thus, mistletoe is another way to essentially say “poop twig.” Not only is mistletoe a poop twig, but most varieties of this plant are partial parasites, being unable to fully sustain themselves via photosynthesis, so they leach what they need from the particular tree they are growing on. Nothing like finding one’s true love kissing under a parasitic poop twig…

1017: In the 1930s, Montgomery Ward gave away promotional coloring books each holiday season. Up to this point, they simply bought these coloring books from others. In 1939, in order to save on the price of the books, they selected Robert L. May, who was a copywriter for Montgomery Ward in Chicago, to write them a short Christmas story. May was very small as a child and was often picked on, so decided to make it an Ugly Duckling type tale, which he wrote in the same verse as “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” The story was ultimately illustrated by Denver Gillen, who worked in Montgomery Ward’s art department. Needless to say, the little promotion was a hit, with 2.4 million copies given away in the first season after its creation; Rudolph has been a staple of the Christmas holiday ever since.

1018: Copywriter Robert L. May initially earned nothing from writing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer outside of his normal Montgomery Ward salary, as he wrote it as a part of his job. But when he became deeply in debt due to medical bills from his wife’s terminal illness in 1947, Montgomery Ward gave him the copyright to Rudolph so he could benefit from the substantial royalties from the story.

1019: Despite being Jewish, Johnny Marks wrote such songs as: Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree; A Holly Jolly Christmas; Run Rudolf Run; Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer (the song); I Heard Bells on Christmas Day; and 9 other Christmas staples. He also wrote many of the songs in the CBS TV version of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” including: The Most Wonderful Day of the Year; Silver and Gold; We Are Santa’s Elves; There’s Always Tomorrow; The Island of Misfit Toys; We’re a Couple of Misfits; and Jingle Jingle Jingle. Incidentally, Marks was also the brother-in-law of Robert May, who wrote “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

1020: If you’re looking for a traditional Christmas dinner in Japan, you have to look no further than your local KFC, where this is the Christmas dinner of choice for the majority in the Land of the Rising Sun. According to KFC, this particular unusual Christmas tradition dates back to the 1970s when supposedly a customer at the chain’s Aoyama store observed that, in a land bereft of the customary turkey for a celebratory dinner, fried chicken was the next best thing. This idea eventually percolated up to the corporate offices of KFC and prompted the company to start a huge advertising campaign in Japan called “Kurisumasu ni wa kentakkii!” (Kentucky for Christmas!) in 1974, which became ludicrously popular thanks to this campaign and the popularity of American culture in Japan at the time.

1021: The belief that Poinsettias are poisonous started around 1919 thanks to a widely reported story of a two year old child who died after supposedly eating the leaves. In truth, there was never any actual evidence that they had anything to do with the child dying. Since then, there have been no known deaths related to ingesting poinsettia leaves. Indeed, according to the Madison Poison Control Center, a 50 lb / 22 kg child would need to eat 500-600 poinsettia leaves to suffer any sort of serious ill effects from the plant, and even then it is likely that the child would only have to endure cramps, upset stomach, vomiting and/or diarrhea, but would otherwise not need any medical attention. Further research into this matter was done by the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Melon University, studying just under 23,000 poinsettia related reports to poison control centers across the United States. Not a single one of these reports showed evidence of any actual toxicity from exposure or ingestion of the plant.

1022: It turns out, contrary to what is often stated, the practice of writing “Xmas” did not start as a means to make a non-religious version of the word “Christmas.” The “X” is actually indicating the Greek letter “Chi,” which is short for the Greek, ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ meaning “Christ.” In fact, religious scribes are thought to have started the whole “Xmas” thing in the first place, with the practice of using the symbol “X” in place of Christ’s name going on amongst said theologians for at least 1000 years. Eventually, this shorthand trick spread to non-religious writings where nearly everywhere “Christ” appeared in a word, the Greek Chi would replace that part of the word. For example, in the 17th and 18th centuries, there are numerous non-religious documents containing instances of “Xine,” which was a common spelling for someone whose name was Christine.

1023: The song Silver Bells was originally titled Tinkle Bells, first appearing in “The Lemon Drop Kid,” a 1951 film starring Bob Hope. Needless to say, these two things would have surely resulted in the song getting a few chuckles had composer Jay Livingston’s wife, Lynne Gordon, not stepped in. Said the co-composer of the song Ray Evans, “We never thought that tinkle had a double meaning until Jay went home and his wife said, ‘Are you out of your mind? Do you know what the word tinkle is?’” (Of course, referring to the fact that it is another word for urination often used with kids.)

1024: The 4,000 word short story, The Greatest Gift, written by Philip Van Doren Stern was inspired by a dream Stern had one night in the 1930s. In it, a character named George decides to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, but is stopped when someone happens by and strikes up a conversation with him. The mysterious person eventually learns that George wishes he’d never been born and grants George his wish. George soon discovers that no one he knows recognizes him and that many of the people he’d known were worse off in their lives because he had never existed. Most prominent among these was his little brother who had drowned because he had not been there to save him. George eventually gets the stranger to change everything back to the way it was and is now glad to be alive. Stern initially sought to find a publisher for his short story but failed in this endeavor, so decided to make a “Christmas Card” style gift out of it and printed 200 copies which he sent out to friends and family in December of 1943. This Christmas Card soon found its way onto the desk of RKO Pictures’ producer David Hempstead and later was purchased by Frank Capra’s production company. The latter subsequently adapted the story into the full-length, It’s a Wonderful Life, which debuted in 1946, flopping in its initial run in theaters. However, it ultimately became considered a Christmas classic, which surprised Capra who claimed he didn’t see it as a Christmas movie, and today it is generally considered one of the great films in cinema history.

1025: While many mistakenly believe either James Earl Jones or Boris Karloff sang “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” in the classic cartoon adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the real singer was one Thurl Ravenscroft, who also was the voice of Tony the Tiger in Frosted Flakes commercials. Ravenscroft also lent his vocal talents to such films as Dumbo, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, 101 Dalmatians, The Sword in the Stone, Mary Poppins, The Jungle Book, Horton Hears a Who!, The Hobbit (cartoon), The Brave Little Toaster, and many, many more. He also can be heard on numerous rides in Disney Land and Disney World, including the Pirates of the Caribbean, Tiki Room, and Haunted Mansion rides.

The post Tinkle Bells, the Parasitic Poop Twig, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Marketing Stunt and more, in a Special Christmas Quick Fact List appeared first on Today I Found Out.

Terrifiying

Funny meme about water bottle.

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Wild Hunt

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The Dress Is Back, Folks

Funny thanos meme that compares his change to the dress debate. blue or gold. Etc.

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Tagged: marvel , thanos , Memes , dress , avengers

The Man Who Put the Chicle in Chiclets

The following is an article from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader

chewing-gum2CHEWING THROUGH HISTORY

People have been chewing gum (and gumlike substances) since ancient times. The Greeks chewed mastiche, made from the resin of the mastic tree. The ancient Mayans first chewed chicle, the sap of the sapodilla tree, over 1,000 years ago. American Indians chewed the sap from spruce trees, and European settlers picked up the habit from them, adding beeswax to the sap. By the mid-1800s, people were chewing gum made from flavored and sweetened paraffin wax.

In 1870, amateur inventor Thomas Adams was discussing a business proposition with his houseguest, the infamous General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna—the man responsible for the massacre at the Alamo 34 years earlier. Now Santa Anna was living in exile on New York’s Staten Island and trying to raise money so he could build an army to march on Mexico City and seize power.

Santa Anna had a scheme to sell Mexican chicle to Americans, who he thought could use it as an additive to natural rubber to reduce its cost. At the time, natural rubber was extremely expensive, and if someone could figure out a way to reduce its cost, he figured, it could be worth millions. The general had brought a large quantity of chicle with him and wondered if Adams could do something with it.

MIXING IT UP

Adams spent more than a year fiddling with the substance, trying to make rain boots and toys—and failed every time. He was just about ready to throw out the entire batch when he remembered how much Santa Anna had enjoyed chewing it. He decided to mix up a batch of chicle gum in his kitchen that evening and give it a try. Result: Gum made from chicle was smoother, softer, and far superior in taste to the paraffin gums that were currently in vogue.

CHEWSY CUSTOMERS

Adams rolled the chicle gum into balls and wrapped them in colored tissue paper. He called his product “Adams New York Snapping and Stretching Gum” and visited drugstores in his neighborhood to see if they’d take it on consignment. Within days, so many orders had come in that Adams had to set up an operation to make the gum in large quantities. It eventually became impossible for him to keep up with all the orders, so he invented a chewing gum manufacturing machine, which he patented in 1871.

MILESTONES IN GUM

In 1875, Adams added licorice flavoring and called his new gum “Black Jack.” It was the first flavored chicle gum on the market and the first gum to be offered in sticks. It was a winner—Black Jack was still being manufactured 100 years later.

In 1888, the company came up with another innovation when they introduced the first vending machines in the United States. Installed in New York City subway stations, they dispensed Black Jack and the company’s new Tutti-Frutti gum. In 1899, Adams created a monopoly by merging the six largest chewing gum manufacturers into the American Chicle Company. One of the company’s most famous products, Chiclets, was invented by a candy salesman who wrapped chicle in a hard candy shell. Chiclets became part of the American Chicle Company in 1914.

During World War II, the demand for chewing gum outstripped the chicle supply, so scientists developed new resins and synthetic gum bases as a substitute. Today, per capita consumption of chewing gum in the U.S. totals in excess of 195 million pounds a year.

POSTSCRIPT

Santa Anna never did profit from chicle sales or raise an army as he’d hoped, but he was allowed to return to Mexico shortly before his death in 1876. Thomas Adams died in 1905, and his sons ran the business until the American Chicle Company was acquired by Warner Lambert in 1960.

This article is reprinted with permission from The Best of the Best of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. They’ve stuffed the best stuff they’ve ever written into 576 glorious pages. Result: pure bathroom-reading bliss! You’re just a few clicks away from the most hilarious, head-scratching material that has made Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader an unparalleled publishing phenomenon.

Since 1987, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom (and everywhere else for that matter). With more than 15 million books in print, the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series is the longest-running, most popular series of its kind in the world.

If you like Today I Found Out, I guarantee you’ll love the Bathroom Reader Institute’s books, so check them out!

The post The Man Who Put the Chicle in Chiclets appeared first on Today I Found Out.

Blake Anderson and David Hornsby Are Developing a Single-Cam Comedy at CBS

Workaholics alum Blake Anderson has teamed up with David Hornsby (How to Be a Gentleman, It’s Always Sunny) for a new TV project at CBS. According to Deadline, Anderson and Hornsby are developing an untitled single-cam comedy for the network that stars Hornsby as a “high-strung father” who “must deal with a new family dynamic […]

10+ Dank And Spicy Memes To Satisfy Your Cravings

Funny list of dank and spicy memes.

Today's best dank memes, all in one place.

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Wear Sunscreen: Guy Shaves Head, Gets Sunburned And Swells, Can Push Dents In His Head

sunburn-dent-head.jpg In a throwback to the Baz Luhrmann song 'Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)', based on the hypothetical commencement speech written by columnist Mary Schmich, these are several shots of Twitter user Cabe Huckabee reminding us all why it's so important to wear sunblock and not burn. Apparently Cabe said for days after the burn he could push his head and a dent would remain for around a half hour. That can't be good. When reached for comment about the incident, 4 out of 5 local dermatologists told me they're afraid they'll have to tell their partner they're not in the mood to make love tonight because they're just too depressed about people not taking care of their skin. The fifth said his fiancé recently left him and he's new in town and looking to make some friends, so he invited me out to grab a beer this evening which I graciously accepted because I have a rash I need looked at. Thanks to Stephanie B, who agrees the more SPFs, the merrier (plus paler).

This Hot Twitter Meme Has People Naming Everything That’s Better Than Sex

Funny "yeah sex is cool but" memes, sex, sexy time, dating, depression, sarcasm, escapism.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever looked at memes? 

The latest trending Twitter meme is all about those random satisfying moments that are surprisingly more gratifying than doing the nasty. The responses range from genuine and wholesome (sharing a comfortable silence with someone you care about) to the absurd. Here are tweets that we think approach sex-level righteousness. 

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The World’s Worst Arsonist, Caught On Security Cam

worlds-worst-arsonist.jpg This is a video of the world's worst arsonist trying to get a fire started on the roof of a building. His original plan (A) seems to involve throwing a small plastic gas can on the roof (he misses with the first toss), then trying to ignite it by shooting a tiny Roman candle at it. Amazingly, that doesn't work for our human Wile E Coyote. He then goes to plan B) set a rag on fire and toss it up there. That also fails so it's time for plan C) light an empty pack of cigarette ablaze and throw that. Womp womp! Plan D) Another cigarette pack (you have to work with what you've got, and this guy's truck is apparently a mobile empty cigarette pack depository). Plan E) Another tiny Roman candle. At this point I'm pretty sure he notices the security camera but doesn't care because soon any incriminating evidence is going to be destroyed by a fire, right? So, feeling his fire-starting work here is done, he leaves....but returns six minutes later to a very disappointing non-fire. That's it, it's time for plan F) use the ladder in the back of your truck to climb up to the roof and put another gallon gas can up there, light it with a lighter, almost fall off the ladder and die because you're so surprised you actually started a fire, then pack up your ladder and leave. Literally 45 seconds later police are on the scene, and another five minutes and there's a firetruck that doesn't even need to use its hose because the fire went out on its own. So, if anybody was wondering who didn't start the wildfires in California, it was this guy. I doubt he can even light a stove burner. Keep going for the video.

Grammar Memes FTW

Funny meme about using semicolons, grammar.

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Tagged: grammar , Memes

The Eighth Annual James Garfield Miracle.

Hey.  You. Are you struggling to buy a toy for your child this year holidays?  Are you wanting to help others?  Do you like ecstatic taxidermied heads in santa hats?  If any of these apply then you are in the … Continue reading

Stop-Motion Video Of A Guy Building Kylo Ren’s LEGO TIE Silencer With The Force

To celebrate the upcoming release of that new Star Wars movie, this is a video of Youtuber Shanks FX building a LEGO model of Kylo Ren's TIE Silencer with nothing but the Force. You know, I once tricked one of my younger cousins into thinking I could wield the Force by rolling a drinking straw across the table with my power, but I was really just secretly blowing on it. It's a great trick if you can do it as good as I can. I bet he probably still thinks I can use the Force, and he's in college now. He probably also still thinks I have a detachable thumb (I'm that good). Keep going for the whole video.

This Week in Comedy Podcasts: ‘Who Charted?’ Celebrates Seven Years

The comedy podcast universe is ever expanding, not unlike the universe universe. We’re here to make it a bit smaller, a bit more manageable. There are a lot of great shows and each has a lot of great episodes, so we want to highlight the exceptional, the noteworthy. Each week our crack team of podcast […]

A Girl And Her Dog Go Head To Head In The Latest ‘Behind The Gif’ Comic

Funny and cute web comic about a girl and her dog doing wii bowling, playing.

Kat Raccoon is back with another GIF-inspired comic that will definitely improve your mood.

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Stick A Finger In There: Video Of An Ultra High Speed Industrial Bacon Slicer

This is a video demonstration of the TEXTOR TS700-UB high speed bacon and pepperoni slicer. Its blade spins at up to 2,000 RPM to slice bacon and pepperoni in the blink of an eye. But can it cut through bone? I'm asking for a friend who wants to make cross-section drink coasters out of his roommate's arm. FUN FACT: did you know you can eat bacon raw if you can find it in your heart to learn to love and accept insane diarrhea? Keep going for the latest in meat slicing technology.

2018 WGA Award Nominations Include ‘American Vandal,’ ‘Nathan for You,’ ‘The President Show,’ and More

The Writers Guild of America announced its list of 2018 WGA Award nominees today, which includes returning series like Nathan for You, Silicon Valley, and Veep as well as new series like GLOW, The President Show, and Netflix’s mockumentary series American Vandal. Nathan for You earned noms in both the Variety Sketch and Variety Special […]

‘The Simpsons’ New Christmas Couch Gag Is Certain To Sleigh You

Snow angels are not frozen hobos, snow angels are not frozen hobos, snow angels are not frozen hobos...

‘The Simpsons’ New Christmas Couch Gag Is Certain To Sleigh You

Snow angels are not frozen hobos, snow angels are not frozen hobos, snow angels are not frozen hobos...

18 Wisdoms From The Late Great George Carlin

Funny and smart George Carlin quotes.

Many people know George Carlin for his epic "7 dirty words" monologue, but the late comedian has many more quotes that are a bit more family friendly. 

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But Is Christmas Still Coming?: Parachuting Santa Plows Into A Tree, Light Pole, Breaks Leg

santa-parachute-crash.jpg Come on, Santa. Of all the places to land on a beach you choose a tree? This is a video from Gulfport, Florida of a parachuting Santa coming to deliver an Elf On The Shelf to a nine-year old girl during a charity event when Santa realizes, 'Holy shit, this isn't a sleigh!' and plows into a tree and light pole at high speed. Thankfully, Santa escaped with only a broken leg, although Christmas has been pushed back until March while he heals. Try to break it to your children gently. I'm thinking something along the lines of, "CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED, SANTA'S DEAD." Keep going for the video, complete with evil kid laughing at the end.

How the DIY Stella Shorts Somehow Introduced the Future of Mainstream Comedy

The Stella shorts, which were filmed as companion pieces to their NYC live show and later collected on the rare Stella Shorts 1998-2002 DVD, are legendarily funny. They’re constant bit factories, firing jokes like a minigun. The shorts will upend their own narratives at a moment’s notice for the sake of a single throwaway riff. […]

27 Random Memes To Help Destroy Your Boredom

Funny random meme list, math, school, sleep, dating, life, sex, relationships.

We're here to help. 

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Tagged: life , school , jobs , list , Memes

John Cena’s Mad Lib Theater With Jimmy Fallon Produces One Foul Christmas Tale

Turns out Rudolph had "a very, very shiny anus."

John Cena’s Mad Lib Theater With Jimmy Fallon Produces One Foul Christmas Tale

Turns out Rudolph had "a very, very shiny anus."

Good To Know: Don’t Microwave A Hard Boiled Egg Then Poke It

Note: Loud scream at 0:40 when the egg explodes. This is a video of a man demonstrating why not to microwave a hard boiled egg then poke it with a fork. Based on how cautious he is and the fact there's a person filming, I'm guessing he clearly knew the eggsplosion was coming. Also, I like how they decided to do this in the break room at work, because why dirty your own kitchen when you clearly already have at least once before? Keep going for the whole video of how not to make deviled eggs, complete with forty seconds of suspense.

Best Of 2017: The 10 Greatest Darth Plagueis Prequel Memes

Best of 2017 memes list, Darth Plagueis the wise, star wars, star wars prequels, memes, copypasta, emperor palpatine, chancellor palpatine, jedi, anakin.

Star Wars prequel memes have been popular since as early as 2013, but this year there was one that really stood out from the rest. In Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Chancellor Palpatine tells Anakin a (long) story about a Dark Lord of the Sith, with the intent of pushing him closer to the dark side. The story is known as "The Tragedy of Darth Plageuis The Wise." 

As a meme, the tale is used as a copypasta. While unnecessary dialogue is removed in this context, the story is still pretty wordy. Memers becan incorporating them into memes everywhere from 4chan to Twitter. We've included our favorites - and the full copypasta in case you want to have some Darth Plagueis fun of your own.

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself."

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Taylor Alesia

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Ed Helms and Stephen Colbert Have an Extremely Important Debate on ‘The Late Show’

Here’s a clip from last night’s Late Show, where Stephen Colbert catches up with his old Daily Show friend Ed Helms ahead of his Comedy Central Fake News special airing next week. The two reignite an old debate they started during their days together on The Daily Show that they both have very strong and […]

Samantha Bee on Shitty Media Men: “Can Men Who Hate Women Be Objective Journalists?”

Here’s a clip from last night’s Full Frontal, where Samantha Bee recaps the recent sexual harassment and assault allegations that have hit the world of TV journalism and exposed people like Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Mark Halperin, and Geraldo Rivera for the sexist, disgusting creeps they really are. But prior to the allegations against them, […]

Seth Meyers Breaks Down What Trump Really Means When He Says He’s “Tough on Crime”

Here’s a clip from last night’s Late Night, where Seth Meyers takes “A Closer Look” at Trump’s so-called “tough on crime” stance and how, through examples like Roy Moore, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Mike Flynn, and Paul Manafort, it’s clear what Trump really means when he claims to to take that approach. “Trump says he’s tough […]

A tough choice

Funny choose your fighter meme with dogs.

Submitted by: (via god)

Tagged: dogs , Memes

The struggle is real

stranger things kid looks like a chair

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Tagged: jokes , Memes

Believe in yourself

sarcasm doesnt get you anywhere

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Girls Mix So Well With Alcohol 15

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

James Corden: This Donald Trump Speech Contains Our 3 Worst Nightmares

"Thank God he wasn't naked."

‘The Daily Show’ Mocks Donald Trump For Not Having The Best Words

Where is Missuria?

‘The Daily Show’ Mocks Donald Trump For Not Having The Best Words

Where is Missuria?

Stephen Colbert Breaks Out A Ruthless New Impression Of Tongue-Tied Trump

The president had a hard time saying "United States."

#XmasGiftsFromTrump Wish List Will Give Trump A Very Un-Merry Christmas

This won't go over well at the White House.

Seth Meyers Nails What Trump Means When He Says ‘Law And Order’

“Think about that. Trump says he wants to ‘stop crime’ but he’s backing an accused child molester."

Seth Meyers Nails What Trump Means When He Says ‘Law And Order’

“Think about that. Trump says he wants to ‘stop crime’ but he’s backing an accused child molester."

Samantha Bee Shreds ‘S****y Media Men’ And Their Treatment Of Hillary Clinton

“We’ll never know how much these pubes affected the election."

Samantha Bee Shreds ‘S****y Media Men’ And Their Treatment Of Hillary Clinton

“We’ll never know how much these pubes affected the election."

Andy Capp for Dec 07, 2017 for 12/07/2017

Andy Capp for Dec 07, 2017

Updated: Thu Dec 07, 2017

Wizard of Id for Dec 07, 2017 for 12/07/2017

Wizard of Id for Dec 07, 2017

Updated: Thu Dec 07, 2017

Heathcliff for Dec 07, 2017 for 12/07/2017

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5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School

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Random Fun Facts Picdump 23

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B.C. for Dec 07, 2017 for 12/07/2017

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Trump’s Weirdly Slurred Speech Causes #DentureDonald To Trend

False teeth... or fake news?

Trump’s Weirdly Slurred Speech Causes #DentureDonald To Trend

False teeth... or fake news?

Incredible Innovation

Funny meme about dyson creating a soul harvesting machine.

Submitted by: (via stability)

Tagged: dyson , dark souls , Memes

49 Honest Brand Slogans That Just Make Sense

marketing memebase - 1621253

Companies build their image through the use of calculated marketing tactics, which really is the equivalent of telling little white lies repeatedly in order to influence the way that you think. The reality is that they deliver a product that kind of does what the marketing promised, but in an alternative facts kind of way.


Well, the veil has been lifted and here at Memebase we're glad the truth has been revealed. So here are 49 brand slogans tell the real story. 

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Tagged: marketing , memebase

What A Comedian

Funny meme about people saying see you next year in December.

Submitted by: (via vanDerSingh)

Tagged: Memes

The McDonald’s Monopoly Scam: Operation Final Answer

hamburglarMcDonald’s first started the Monopoly promotion in 1987, and its premise was simple: attach Monopoly pieces to food cartons and cups, with each piece signifying a Monopoly property or a small prize. One out of every four pieces would be a small prize, such as a medium fry or soda, and a very few of the prizes would be significantly more valuable, such as a car or, with the proper pieces, cash – up to $1 million.

The key to any promotion is to keep the cost of the prizes below the increase in sales it produces, and so for the Monopoly game, there were very few expensive prize pieces. In addition, as a full-set of properties was needed to win the nice prizes, for each set, at least one property only had a few pieces printed (e.g., there would be many Park Places but precious few Boardwalks). Nonetheless, as long as everyone played fair, and diligently collected the attached pieces, eventually someone could win each of the prizes (although some years no one won the $1 million grand prize). But that’s the key – playing fair.

It turns out, as with the real game of Monopoly, its not so hard to cheat if you’re the banker. Enter Jerome Jacobson of Simon Marketing Inc., the latter being one-time managers of the Monopoly promotion for McDonald’s.

Most important to the story at hand is that it was the aforementioned employee of Simon Marketing Inc, security officer Jerome Jacobson, who was put in charge of the distribution of certain key game pieces. As a part of that job, he would travel with said pieces to the factories making McDonald’s cups and cartons, where the pieces would then be attached to said items.

Not exactly an Ocean’s 11 style caper, en route with the sealed envelope containing the pieces, Jacobson would simply go into a private place (like an airport bathroom), carefully open the envelope, steal the best pieces, and then reseal and deliver the rest.

Smart enough not to try to redeem the pieces himself, with his first theft in 1989, Jacobson gave the piece ($25,000) to his stepbrother who shared the proceeds with him. Over the years, apparently Jacobson became more emboldened, and by 1995, he was stealing most of the pieces of greatest value.

To further distance himself from the theft, Jacobson and his cohorts began recruiting random people, who would simply purchase the pieces from them for a percentage of their overall ultimate worth once cashed in. (Ironically, and one of the ways in which the FBI tracked who was all involved, was that in order to buy the pieces with large prizes, many of the biggest prize winners mortgaged their homes before collecting their McDonald’s Monopoly prizes.)

Jacobson also in at least one instance completely gave the biggest $1 million prize away in 1995 when he anonymously sent the needed pieces for the prize to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. While technically under the rules of the promotion, the prizes were supposed to be non-transferable, McDonald’s chose to make an exception in this case and awarded the prize to St. Jude’s.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and if the banker in a Monopoly game cheats too much, eventually the other players will catch on.

And so it was that the scam was first revealed to law enforcement by an informant who had been recruited by the Jacobson group to “win” a 1996 Dodge Viper. As the fraud happened across the country and the U.S. mail was involved, the FBI had jurisdiction, and they named their investigation “Operation Final Answer,” in reference to another McDonald’s promotion Jacobson was rigging connected to Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Fully cooperating with the Bureau, McDonald’s agreed to continue the contest to enable agents to figure out which prize winners were involved and which weren’t, gathering evidence via methods such as wire taps, phone records, and the aforementioned pattern of winners who mortgaged their houses shortly before collecting a big prize.

In another rather humorous turn, during one stake out, FBI agents reported watching one of Jacobson’s associates meet with a recruit in a parking lot in Fair Play, South Carolina.

It all came crashing down in 2001 when Jacobson and seven others were charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud (a federal felony) in Jacksonville, Florida. Jacobson pled guilty to the charge in 2002 and was sentenced to three years and one month in federal prison. He also had to give back the near $1 million he had collected over the lifespan of the scam as his cut.

Altogether, 51 otherwise law abiding citizens were convicted, with 47 pleading guilty and four others ultimately being found guilty (although four of these 51 later had their convictions overturned due to technicalities). It isn’t clear exactly if every prize winner involved was actually aware the whole thing was a scam, however, with many claiming they didn’t know the prize pieces were obtained illegally.

Whatever the case, the fallout was much bigger than just a few dozen people serving jail time while a few dozen others who would have won a big prize did not.  After the scandal was revealed, McDonald’s promptly terminated their approximately half a billion dollar contract with Simon Marketing Inc, causing a couple hundred of Jerome’s former co-workers to lose their jobs.

To make amends to the general public, McDonald’s promptly launched a flash-Monopoly run, with cash prizes awarded totaling about $10 million. It should also be noted that despite St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital’s winning prize pieces being acquired fraudulently, McDonald’s still continued paying the installments on the million dollar prize to them.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy subscribing to our new Daily Knowledge YouTube channel, as well as:

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The post The McDonald’s Monopoly Scam: Operation Final Answer appeared first on Today I Found Out.

A New York Times Bestseller

Funny meme of Shaq reading a book called "memes i aint seen yet."

Submitted by: (via Vuynjou)

Tagged: Memes , books

Prepare To Feel Old: The Numa Numa Dance Turns 13 Today

That's right. 13 years ago today, when the internet was a simpler place, a bespectacled Gary Brolsma did a lip-dub to O-Zone's "Dragostea din tei" and uploaded it to Newgrounds. His performance went viral, and was arguably one of the first great video memes. Let's take a minute to press play and "Numa Numa" like nobody's watching.

Submitted by: (via Dork Daily)

Tagged: videos , Memes

Rick Perry Gets Meme’d After An Album-Cover Worthy Photoshoot In Saudi Arabia

Funny memes of Rick Perry in Saudi arabia, desert photographs, bare feet, star wars, lord of the rings.

US Secretary of Energy Rick Perry is the latest politician to become a Twitter meme after visiting Saudi Arabia in early December. Saudi Arabia's Energy Minister Khalid A. Al-Falih tweeted some amusing photos of the former Texas Governor's visit. One photo in particular, of Perry posing barefoot in the desert sand, seemed to resonate with Twitter users, who playfully made fun of his "bad boy" stance and his hobbit-like feet. 

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Get Into The Christmas Spirit With This Hilariously Brutal Honest Trailer For ‘The Santa Clause’

Screen Junkies is back to ruin this 90's Christmas favorite starring Tim Allen and a kid that's not Jonathan Taylor Thomas. 

Submitted by: (via Screen Junkies)

Tagged: christmas , videos , movies , Memes

‘Lil’ Alex Jones’: Exactly What It Sounds Like

Cafe’s new series Lil’ Alex Jones features a very young man doing his best Alex Jones impersonation. That’s essentially it. No, sorry, that’s precisely it. Sure, the injustices he’s wailing over are kid-ified but otherwise, everything is the same. Like, exactly, and man, some of it is pretty damn good. The strongest episode in the 7-installment mix seems to be “Censorship at the […]

18 Punny Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Funny

puns Memes dogs star wars jokes earth - 4190213

The cringe is strong with these memes.

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Tagged: puns , Memes , dogs , star wars , jokes , earth

Ladies Night 1

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The Season 3 Trailer for Comedy Central’s ‘Another Period’ Has Arrived

Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome’s Another Period returns to Comedy Central next month, and today the network released the trailer. Renewed prior to the season 2 premiere back in 2016, the series debuts its third season on Tuesday, January 23rd at 10:30pm following the season 5 premiere of Drunk History at 10:00pm. The season features […]

The Season 2 ‘Bill Nye Saves the World’ Trailer Features Ali Wong, Tim Meadows, Zach Braff, and More

Bill Nye returns to Netflix later this month with the second season of his show Bill Nye Saves the World, and today the streaming network dropped the trailer. The show debuted its first season back in April then scored a season 2 renewal just two months after, and some guests slated to show up include […]

Talking Standup with the Stars of HBO’s ‘All Def Comedy’

After the success of last year’s All Def Comedy one-hour special, HBO ordered up a six-episode run of the All Def model, which premieres last Friday. The original Def Comedy Jam of the ‘90s shaped an entire generation of comics, including most of the roughly two dozen comedians chosen for the new series. I talked […]

‘The Opposition’s Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson Profile Conservative Campus Group Turning Point USA

Here’s a clip from last night’s The Opposition with Jordan Klepper, where Citizen Journalists Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp go undercover as Arizona State University students to learn more about Turning Point USA, a billionaire-funded conservative student campus group founded by non-college grad Charlie Kirk that trolls liberals by protesting things like “safe spaces” and […]

Seth Meyers Checks in on Secretary of Energy Rick Perry on ‘Late Night’

Here’s a clip from last night’s Late Night, where Seth Meyers takes a break from the regular breaking news to check in on how Rick Perry is doing these days over at the Department of Energy — an agency he had no previous experience with, said in 2011 he wanted to abolish, and meant that […]

Full Of Win 72

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James Corden Asks What Everyone Wants To Know About Omarosa

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Patton Oswalt Impersonates Roy Moore, Unveils More Fitting Campaign Slogans

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Trevor Noah Skewers ‘Morally Degenerate’ Donald Trump For Endorsing Roy Moore

The "Daily Show" host wondered "what kind of person" could back a man facing multiple sexual misconduct allegations.

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I feel it in my bones.

I feel it in my bones. The rain that hasn’t come. It doesn’t make sense but it’s true. I wake up at 2am and my hands ache and throb. I can feel my pulse in my feet. My wedding ring … Continue reading

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Hello, It Is I, The Man Who Blew Every Last Cent Of His Fortune On Booze, Women And Movies

I could've explained it all to Sen. Chuck Grassley if he'd just called.

Becoming Santa

santaBorn in 1955 in Baltimore, Jonathan Meath studied at New York University, graduating with honors in 1979 before embarking on a lucrative career as a children’s television producer, with arguably his most famous credit being that of senior producer for almost 300 episodes of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? During his career, Meath also worked with The Jim Henson Company producing episodes of The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss as well as helping to develop various Nickelodeon and Discovery Kids shows. It’s likely that Meath would have continued in television until his retirement if not for the the fact that for almost of his adult life he sported a full beard.

Why does this matter you ask? Well, when Meath entered his late 40s in the early 2000s, his hair and beard began to whiten considerably which made him, like all mildly tubby older men sporting a giant fuzzy beard, kind of look like Santa. As Meath would later recount in an interview with WGBH News, so many kids began mistaking him for Santa that, in 2002, his wife thought it’d be funny to buy him a Santa suit on Ebay for Christmas.

While it was initially something of a joke, not long after trying it on, Meath stated, “I found myself in the bathtub… thinking about how often people have opportunities that stare them in the face — and then slough them off.”

So the next year, he dusted off the suit and scored a gig as a mall Santa, something he describes as “one of the most wonderful experiences in the world”.

Eager for more of the ultimate Christmas high, Meath decided to try and pursue portraying Kris Kringle full-time.

So how does one go about becoming a year round, premiere Santa Claus? A good bet is to first go to Santa school. Seriously.

As for Meath, he attended the International University of Santa Claus in 2006, earning a Master of Santa Claus degree- something we are absolutely not making up.

Along with teaching the basics of the history of Santa Claus and the various traditions surrounding the character throughout the world, universities such as this also typically instruct potential Kringles on everything from beard maintenance and makeup, to how to drive a sleigh (sometimes with on-hand reindeer and all).

Less obvious courses that come with the territory include contract negotiation (Santa’s gotta eat too), how to dance, how to deal with parents, and even how to make wooden toys. Perhaps most important of all is they teach the future Santas how to address common requests and questions from children. While this might seem like a simple thing, and in most cases it is, there are edge cases where a little training can come in handy, such as when a child full of hope looks up at Santa with tear-brimming eyes and asks him to bring back a dead loved one. On a similar note, they also teach the Santas how to deal with times when a child will open up to Santa about things that they don’t tell others, like issues with being bullied, abusive parents, and more.

Prospective Santa’s also learn how to politely turn down cookies, basic sign language to help in talking with with deaf children, and, in at least one Santa school, even how to stay in shape- and we mean this in the sense most people think of when talking about keeping in shape, not how to get a belly like a bowl full of jelly.

For example, at Santa schools like the “Harvard of Santa Schools”, Charles C. Howard Santa Claus School, in Michigan, the exercise course is, in the words of co-owner Holly Valent, “not a popular class”, but one they insist on. Nobody wants a wheezing Santa who gets out of breath just lifting kids on and off his lap.

As for Meath, he specifically has a regime of regular running and swimming to maintain an adequate level of fitness and stamina to portray everyone’s favourite immortal bearded champion of goodwill and seasonal cheer. That said, Meath is careful to not exercise too much, lest he lose Santa’s trademark belly, with Meath terming the look “organic Santa”, rather than using words like “overweight”.

It should be noted here that those wishing to portray Santa don’t necessarily need to attend classes or courses, it’s just that they can help you be “more appealing to potential employers”. And on that note, top tier professional Santas can easily earn a year’s wages in a single month if they score a lucrative contract portraying Santa for one of America’s larger malls, or by supplementing their “chair time” income by attending corporate or private events.

As such, a degree from a well-known Santa school that says you’re not just some guy in a suit, but a man fully committed to portraying Santa as realistically as possible is invaluable and can set you apart from the literal (and metaphorical) heavy competition you’re likely to face at such gigs.

Moving back to Meath, he began portraying Santa full-time in 2007, noting in an interview with NPR that he was in the suit “almost 24/7”. He further states on his choice to leave his rather lucrative TV career to be Santa,

You are Santa 365 days a year… It wasn’t really a question of leaving my own job as it was to committing to the character. When you are Santa, you have a responsibility to the character, even when you’re in your private life.

On that note, he, like so many other full time Santas, is quick to point out that when you wear the beard year round, so to speak, you have to be careful to embody the character in all aspects of your life, as you never know who might be watching your actions- a crossed word or raised voice could potentially ruin a child’s image of St Nick forever.

To quote one professional bearded Santa called Dan Greenleaf, “There certainly is an obligation that comes with having the beard. I’m a pretty vocal sports fan, and I’ve had to tone down my reaction to bad calls. I also now drive a car with the license plate IMSANTA, so when someone cuts you off and you want to lay down on the horn, I have to remind myself I can’t do that.”

At this point you might be wondering what exactly a year round Santa gets up to in the months of the year not labeled December.  It turns out, for some of the top Santas, there really isn’t such a thing as a long offseason. Many ad campaigns targeting the season are planned out far in advance, resulting in Meath and those like him keeping fairly busy throughout the year.

And, of course, when just walking out and about, while not in the suit, kids still often want to talk to who they believe Santa to be. This can sometimes even be a problem for professional Santas, such as in the summer of 2012 when one Thomas Tolbert, who was simply vacationing at Disneyland with his family, was unceremoniously booted out of the park for looking too much like Santa and refusing to turn away kids who thought he must be.  You see, while he wasn’t in costume, many kids noticed the Santa impersonator sure looked a lot like Santa Claus in a t-shirt, and so started coming up to him to meet Santa; some even reportedly requested autographs. Not one to turn bright eyed children away, Tolbert happily obliged them. When this happened, Tolbert stated park officials approached him and first stated he should tell the children, “I’m sorry, I’m on vacation” so they’d leave him alone… But as Santa impersonators such as himself take the job seriously year round, he refused, and thus got the boot out of the park.

In any event, to accommodate such year-round work and legions of adoring kids approaching him any time, Meath maintains a glorious white beard throughout the year, and is proud to be a member of the International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas, a group of professional Santas who similarly portray St Nick with natural white whiskers.

Speaking of the group, in 2016, Meath explained that members meet up periodically to help each other hone their craft, which hilariously includes lengthy chuckling workshops, where Santas spend hours critiquing each other on their ho-ho-hos.

As an aside, there is a long-standing rivalry between real bearded Santas and so-called designer bearded or “traditional” Santas (called “traditional” because it’s a relatively modern phenomenon that people portraying Santa have real beards). There’s even a degree of animosity between the two groups, with some real bearded Santas pushing to have owning a real beard be a standard requirement of portraying Santa in a professional sense. On the other side of the argument, the fake bearded Santas point out that their beards, which can easily run up into the thousands of dollars to buy when looking at the ultra-realistic ones, usually look far more like iconic pictures of Santa than the facial hair most men can grow. So if one really wants to play the part, they shouldn’t be cheapening the image with often inferior facial hair.

JonathanGMeathIn regards to Meath specifically, he has no problem growing a truly magnificent Santa beard, which he meticulously maintains using a litany of hair products to ensure his beard is fluffy, soft, and white as snow.

Speaking of that natural, iconic look maintained year-round, in addition to portraying Santa at malls around the globe, parades and parties, Meath has lent his likeness to countless ads, and even once appeared in a special Christmas-themed safety video for Delta Airlines. However, arguably Meath’s biggest gig to date, and one hard to top, is that of the official Coca-Cola Santa. You see, in 2016, after nearly a century of running Santa campaigns during the Christmas season, Coca-Cola decided that for the first time in their history, they’d hire a real person to portray Santa. Meath was the Santa they chose. A lucrative deal that saw him appearing in ads in over 120 countries, when asked how he beat out the competition, Meath explained: “I have the right cheeks. And the right twinkle.”

The fact that he takes embodying the character so seriously even in private probably helped as well, we’re guessing. As one journalist noted upon meeting Meath for the first time, “The first thing that happened when I stepped into Jonathon Meath’s Newburyport home… was he offered me a cookie. Next he poured some fresh-brewed, piping-hot tea and threw a couple of logs on the fire. Once it was blazing and crackling, we sat down to chat.”

Meath continues to portray Santa to this day, committing himself to the character of Kris Kringle in both body and spirit, maintaining both a glorious beard and a Facebook page where he occasionally posts selfies and pictures of Snowy landscapes. Because of course he does.

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Bonus Facts

  • Years ago I wrote an article about Meath for my own website. A few days after it went live, Meath sent me a private email asking me to edit a line saying that he “lives, breaths and craps Santa Claus” because he objected to such language being used to describe him. Naturally, I edited the article immediately, requesting only that Meath not put me on the naughty list. /true story – Karl
  • When asked by NPR if he had to learn how to give a convincing ho-ho-ho, Meath explained that the moment you grow a fuzzy white beard you automatically learn to ho-ho-ho like a champ- it “[naturally] comes with the beard”.
Expand for References

The post Becoming Santa appeared first on Today I Found Out.

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Hi. I love you.

Our community is amazing.  It’s so strange and lovely and large that sometimes I just watch it from the edges and feel lucky to be a part.  If you are here you are a part of that community, even if … Continue reading

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Does Tapping on a Shaken Soda Can Actually Reduce Fizz?

Michael P. asks: Does tapping on the top of a shaken pop can really prevent it from fizzing up?


For the uninitiated, it’s commonly held that when opening a recently shaken can of soda, you can avoid, or at least reduce, the inevitable shower of sugary carbonated liquid by simply tapping the top or side of the can briskly with your finger a couple dozen times. So does tapping the can actually do anything?

Well, we looked far and wide for a definitive answer to this question and came up empty, so decided to run an experiment ourselves to find out the answer.

Now, to be clear, certainly there are many otherwise reputable sources throwing out an opinion on this one on both sides of the argument, but, outside of Snopes, nobody seems to have bothered to experimentally test whether tapping the can does anything. And as for Snopes, while they technically did do an experiment, this was a reported sample-size of just three runs (although they do allude to “a variety of experiments” not reported).

It is possible one doesn’t need a large sample size here to get meaningful results, so perhaps three runs is a perfectly sufficient sample. However, Snopes gives no hard quantitative data (only anecdotal observations) on this one, and did not necessarily shake each of the cans the exact same way (though did time it and presumably the shaking was approximately the same if they had the same person shaking each time). But needless to say, while Snopes’ conclusion may end up being perfectly correct, we weren’t really comfortable stating it as a definitive answer here given the way the experiment was conducted and lack of hard data.

But if you’re curious, their results indicated that tapping the side of the can produced slightly less foam than simply waiting to open it, but otherwise from a practical standpoint didn’t really make a difference.

As for expert opinions, these also were conflicting, though perhaps the best such source in Cornell University biochemist, and one of the world’s leading beverage foam experts, Karl J. Siebert, rang in on the side that at best tapping the can does nothing in his opinion, and even potentially makes the problem worse. As Dr. Siebert states, by tapping the can, “you risk creating more bubbles.”

Despite this, many otherwise reputable sources claim that tapping the can does actually help.  Why?  As you’re probably aware, when you shake the can, the agitation causes some of the dissolved carbon dioxide in the container to form bubbles at various nucleation sites on the inner surface. It’s also further widely held that some of the bubbles formed will stick to the inside of the container at these various nucleation sites, rather than rising to the top. When the can is opened and the high pressure thus released, these bubbles rapidly expand and shoot to the top of the container, pushing out some of the liquid they were surrounded with previously with them.

Thus, the hypothesis is that by tapping on the can, you can dislodge these bubbles and cause them to float to the top before opening the container, so that when you do open the can, the gas can expand and escape without taking any liquid with it.

So does this actually work?

shakenator2To begin with in our little experiment, we needed a device that could shake our soda cans exactly the same every single time.  The Shakenator T-3000 we made to do this works such that with each button press, it shakes the can exactly 10 times with a stroke length of 1.125 inches or 2.9 cm.  Through a bit of experimentation, we ultimately found that at our coldest measured temperatures about 150 shakes (at about 8.8 complete shakes per  second) was around the point where we started getting very good, measurable results with Coke cans, so went with that for the number shakes.

Because temperature is a big factor in how much foam is produced, the device also reports the temperature after each run, along with the number of shakes and the time it took for the run to complete.

Now to the experiment. There are a variety of ways we could have done this, but as we’re far more interested in the amount of foam coming out, rather than the amount of carbon dioxide, we’re choosing to measure the liquid that comes out of a can, glass bottle, and plastic bottle when the respective containers are: shaken and then tapped on the side, shaken and then tapped on the top, shaken but not tapped- simply waiting the same time interval as if we tapped it, and then shaken, and quickly opened upon removal from the machine.

This latter one is particularly of interest as one alternate hypothesis often put forth on why tapping the can does increase your odds of avoiding a fizzy bath has nothing to do with the tapping itself, but is because people tapping the can wait a short interval before opening it, giving some of the carbon dioxide time to re-dissolve into the liquid and any formed bubbles to rise to the top where they won’t push any liquid out.

Also, just because we were curious, we ran an additional experiment shaking several cans and then opening them at intervals to see how long it would take for no more liquid to be pushed out. Obviously the results here will vary for other shaking scenarios based on a variety of factors, but we were really just curious at about broad ballpark numbers here.

So what were our results?

Well, it turns out that the actual tapping of the can does nothing.

can-tap-refridg-a

can-tap-room-aHowever, we were very surprised to note that the seemingly insignificant time interval here of 20 seconds from shaking to open actually did make a huge difference in the amount of foam produced. And, in fact, on the runs when we opened the can as fast as possible after being shaken, even just a change of a few seconds appears to have made a big difference in foam output, as you’ll see from the results which show that that portion, which was the only one not precisely timed, is the only place we really saw a large variance in resulting foam, even though every open in that case was within a few seconds of each other.

can-tap-refridg-w-imm-acan-tap-room-w-immAs for the rest of the subtle variance in other runs, it was interesting to observe how even the tiniest change in the opening speed of the containers, which results in the pressure being released at different rates, made a very measurable difference in the foam produced to the point where I was eventually able to roughly predict the foam output based on how I judged my opening speed, despite the fact that in all cases with the can and glass bottles, it only took a fraction of a second to open them completely. Specifically, using video footage of a dozen openings on each, we measured an average of 0.07 seconds to fully open the glass bottles and 0.22 seconds for the cans. With the plastic bottles, this was likewise very similarly timed each time, though took on average about 1.91 seconds to fully twist the cap off, with the slightly wider variance there resulting in a bit larger range in output foam.

As for tapping in the air vs. on a hard surface, it would seem this did not have a noticeable effect either way.

air-vs-tableAnd because it actually takes quite a bit of shaking to get a measurable amount of foam spillage (using a gram as the smallest increment- for reference here the containers in question contained roughly 340 grams of liquid), we’re guessing in real world scenarios where people are trying to reduce foam by tapping, nobody’s tapping the can vigorously enough to make a noticeable difference in foam output.

It’s also noteworthy that whether tapping 30 times or 50 made no real difference here in terms of the expected outcome.

can-tap--refridge-50-30-barAnother interesting point is that the plastic bottles produced significantly more foam, despite it taking much longer to fully open them. As previously mentioned, based on our observations with all container types, even a fraction of a second change in opening speed made a noticeable difference in foam output. And given it took roughly 13 times longer to open the plastic containers fully compared to the average of the glass and cans, one might have initially expected the plastic containers would produce much less foam as a result, not more.

Given how much carbon dioxide is added significantly affects the taste of the beverage, we’re presuming Coca-Cola does not vary the initial carbonation level added based on container type. If that’s correct, we’re guessing that the plastic containers must contain a much greater number of nucleation sites than glass or aluminum, ultimately producing many more bubbles for the same shakes.

This brings us to how long we had to wait until no foam was produced.

We initially expected we’d have to go out to intervals of maybe even as much as an hour to see the foam completely disappear, but we were woefully incorrect on this point.  In fact, our first experimental run of just 60 seconds of waiting ended up producing no foam whatsoever despite the 150 vigorous shakes and the small geyser produced at a few second interval given those shakes.

We then broke it down to 10 second intervals and found at the colder temperature it took just 50 seconds for foaming out of the container to no longer occur and at 40 seconds, while there was a slight overflow onto the lid area, it was not even a gram’s worth and certainly didn’t naturally spill off the container.

rest-time-comparisonAt the higher room temperature, the results were surprisingly similar at 40 seconds producing just slightly more foam than at the 40 second mark in the colder temperature, more or less mimicking the 30 second run at the colder temperature. Similarly, the 50 and 60 second marks at room temperature mimicked the 40 and 50 second marks respectively at the near refrigeration temperature.

As to why there is so little foam being produced after such a short interval, it would seem to us there are two possibilities, both of which may be coming into play. The first possibility is that the carbon dioxide is rapidly being redissolved in the liquid. But as we didn’t measure the actual escaped C02 compared to an unshaken container, we can’t say for certain to what extent that is happening.

The second possibility is simply that all the bubbles created from the shaking rise to the top in this time span and, with no further shaking causing more bubbles to form at the nucleation sites, the undissolved carbon dioxide is simply escaping when you open the can without pushing out any liquid.

Supporting the idea that this is the bigger factor in this case is footage of the shaken glass and plastic bottles which show a dramatic drop-off in created bobbles in a relatively short time span after shaking is stopped, with those created all rising to the top relatively quickly and no visible bubbles clinging to the sides as if often claimed happens when people talk about the supposed benefits of tapping the container. Further, while we didn’t measure the carbon dioxide output, for what it’s worth, observationally even when no significant foam was produced, there still sounded like a lot more gas escaping when opening these shaken cans compared to opening cans that had just been sitting around, which we did several times just to compare the sound back to back. Though, of course, further experimentation measuring the actual carbon dioxide output would need to be done to know for sure.

So there you have it. We now know for certain that tapping a can of soda does absolutely nothing to reduce foam and it is actually the short time interval taken to tap the can that is reducing foaming vs. simply opening the can immediately. It also very much appears that tapping the can vigorously, which while potentially could have produced more foam via further agitation, did not produce any practical increase in fizz. And while your results will vary based on things like temperature, atmospheric pressure, and how much a given can was shaken, it would very much appear in all cases you really don’t need to wait more than around a minute or so for things to stabilize in the can to the point where you can safely open the soda container without risk of a foam over, even if you open the container quickly.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy subscribing to our new Daily Knowledge YouTube channel, as well as:

Bonus Facts:

  • Just for fun, we also ran this experiment on cans of Dr. Pepper to see if the results changed at all.  They did not in terms of the main points already made.  However, what was interesting to note was that the Dr. Pepper produced about half as much foam on average as the Coca-Cola for each of the scenarios. There are a variety of potential ingredients that can cause a difference here. For instance, with many diet sodas that contain aspartame, they end up producing more foam because aspartame lowers the surface tension of the liquid much  more than sugar or corn syrup will. It’s possible Coca-Cola simply contains more surfactants than Dr. Pepper. Or it’s possible Dr. Pepper just contains much less carbon dioxide than Coca-Cola; given the amount of carbon dioxide dissolved in the beverage greatly influences the taste and mouth feel, we’re presuming there is a reasonable variance from flavor to flavor. And, anecdotally, it does always seem like Dr. Pepper goes flat much faster than Coke….  But that’s an experiment for another day. For now, at least, we thought it was interesting to note how much less foam an equally shaken can of Dr. Pepper produces compared to a can of Coke.
  • While you might think the title of “foam expert” we previously mentioned is some sort of exaggeration, it turns out this was yet another career path that your high school guidance counselor didn’t tell you about. The aforementioned Professor Siebert is one of the world’s leading experts in beverage foam and fizz and is even cited as the discoverer of the compound that creates “optimal beer foam” in a 2014 study. He also reportedly worked for many years in the beer industry studying the microbiology of various drinks, including how to create optimal foam. Professor Siebert has also written at length on the topic of foam in beverages and its relation to sensory enjoyment of drink.
  • As alluded to, virtually all fizzy drinks on the market today are made that way using carbon dioxide, which is dissolved into whatever liquid the can contains via both cooling the liquid, which allows more CO2 to be dissolved in than would be possible at warmer temperatures, and introducing the C02 in a highly pressurized environment. For reference, according to a representative from the Pepsi Brooklyn Bottling Center, “At 60°F, the gauge pressure in the container is approximately 40 psi” (276 kPa). For another reference, a can of 7UP at approximately 40°F / 4.4°C has an internal pressure of about 30 psi or 207 kPa. And, according to one Jeff Sowell, a Consumer Affairs Specialist at Coca-Cola, a typical can of Coca-Cola has an internal pressure of about 55 psi or 380 kPa at 75°F / 23.9°C. It would appear that, on average, most soda cans tend to have a pressure of roughly 120 kPa at 4°C and about 250 kPa at about 20°C.
  • If you’re wondering at this point why they put C02 in so many soft drinks, this is for the significant effect the formed carbonic acid has on the flavor, helping to reduce the ultra-sweet taste of the drink, as well as changing the mouthfeel somewhat. This is why when you drink flat soda it tends to have an extremely sickly sweet taste. Specifically, the carbonic acid is primarily detected via your sour-sensing taste cells. And, in fact, people who take altitude-sickness drugs that block the carbonic anhydrase enzyme on your taste cells end up reporting that carbonated beverages taste significantly different when on those drugs.
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The post Does Tapping on a Shaken Soda Can Actually Reduce Fizz? appeared first on Today I Found Out.

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