They Just Don’t Work For Me

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Paramount Is Developing a ‘Galaxy Quest’ TV Series

by Megh Wright

galaxyquest1999 sci-fi parody Galaxy Quest might get the TV treatment. According to Deadline, Paramount is currently developing a television series based on the film with original writing/directing/producing team Robert Gordon, Dean Parisot, and Mark Johnson attached to co-executive produce. The original Galaxy Quest starred Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, Daryl Mitchell, Enrico Colantoni, and Justin Long, but there's no word yet whether any of them will return to appear in the TV version.

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The Cruel Fortune of Evolution

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American Voices: Aquarium Gives Penguins Private ‘Honeymoon Suites’ To Encourage Mating

In an effort to encourage the endangered animals to breed more chicks, the New England Aquarium is giving eight pairs of penguins igloo-like “honeymoon suites” away from the main exhibit to get them in the mood for mating.

Advising the Candidates: Jeb Bush

The Bush family loves to see themselves as adults. And they are. Privileged, self-absorbed, vile, treacherous, toadying, savage adults. The Bushes always punch down. No clan in the history of the Republic is less encumbered by principal, less responsive to economic misery, or less troubled with inflicting death. If the Bushes had a realistic coat of arms it would depict a rich banker sucking the ass of a richer banker sucking the ass of a billionaire.

Yet this gaggle of lickspittles for power, who view the American dream as a LinkedIn profile encompassing Nazis, The House Of Saud, and Dick Cheney, fully expect their 7th appearance in the last 10 GOP tickets. That their latest subservient spawn, John Ellis 'Jeb' Bush, is unironically running as his "own man" should occasion any journalist not named Halperin or Bruni to laugh themselves into a stupor. A Bush is to self-sufficiency what gangrene is to fitness modeling.

But, as the least thoughtful man ever to hold the presidency used to say, "make no mistake"... a Bush will tour any flag factory, define any freedom, and reinsert any feeding tube to grasp dominion over the hoi polloi.

So if we were advising Jeb Bush, it would be as follows:

*SEE THE IRONY

No average American with a functioning brain stem wants your gene pool anywhere near the Oval Office ever again. But Americans love spectacle and you, Jeb, are part of a true reality freak show... the Kennebunkport Kardashians... Suck Dynasty... Iraq Road Bombers. Your family dynamic couldn't be more filled with warped psychodrama if the entire Bush/Walker line lived on the edge of a swamp and trapped nutria for spending money.

Enough with the "I love my dad," "I love my mom," "I love my brother" crap. Nobody cares. Nobody cares even a little bit. You're in your 60s. It's not endearing. It's creepy and sad and makes you look like Baby Huey.

Pledge to be the first President Bush to create a job.

During your stump speeches, have Paul Wolfowitz onstage in a dunk tank filled with mouse urine and give any Vet unlimited throws.

If you refer to Marvin or Neil realize that use of the word "unindicted" is not synonymous with altruism.

Vow to arrest your other brother for war crimes. The fact that this disinterested punk is now portrayed as some benign Bob Ross instead of the unhinged Goya who bathed the Middle East in Alizarin crimson is an obscenity. If he had a scintilla of self-awareness he would wander off like a penitent Van Gogh into a field of Crawford Bluebottles and never return.

Bottom line Jeb: You have lots of money and no qualms. It all comes down to how stupid the rest of us are.

Note: Back in the day on our radio show, we'd always take suggestions for the most truthful campaign songs. Here's ours for Jeb Bush... feel free to post yours in the comments.

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Climate Change Is Affecting Swans

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10 World’s Oldest Examples Of Ordinary Things

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Mortal Kombat X a.k.a. Arachnophobia Simulator 2015

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Last Week Tonight Bids the Earth Adieu

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Since that CNN Doomsday video surfaced, John Oliver has been thinking of a better way to send off life as we know it.

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These Asian Moms And Their Kids Are Scary-Good At Imitating Each Other

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Even if it's an imitation of the way your kid complains.

In a new video, Buzzfeed staffers teamed up with their Asian moms to take turns riffing on how the other complains, handles phone calls, drives or -- in the kids' cases -- acts "American." (Hint: that one involves always eating burritos and loving hip hop. Touchè.)

Those of us with Asian moms can probably relate to the parents' good-natured worrying, complaints their child is always busy and reminders to take their fish oil. And while the kids nail impressions of their moms saying "I love you," one thing we Asian kids know Mom does not love: Swear words. Cut!

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Superman Always Has To Be The Best

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A Love Letter to Anna Kendrick, Earth’s Sweetheart

Hi A-Ken (ugh that was stupid can we think of a better nickname?),

How are things? Probably not that good because we're not dating. Haha. Not a joke. I know you probably have a thousand other things you'd rather be doing than reading a letter from an attractive, funny, intelligent, attractive guy. I know you're probably busy being "famous" and "making blockbuster movies" and having "millions of fans," but I thought it would be irresponsible of me not to alert you of our undeniable compatibility.

Did we just take a time machine back to high school? Because I think we have chemistry.

Before you fall too hard for me I suppose I should briefly introducing myself since this is like our first date or something. My name is Jon Savitt. I'm a writer, a famous actor who hasn't been in any movies and isn't famous yet, and the kind of guy who will drive around the block a few times if I'm the first person to arrive at a get together. Oh, and I am your soulmate. Too much too soon? Can I start over?

"Hi, my name is Jon and I am in love with you."

Nailed it.

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P.S. That's not what I look like now^ that was when I was a kid. Hope that's not confusing.

But you already know everything about me, don't you? You're not fooling me. You see, I've thought about it and here is what I came up with. 1) You either have no idea that I exist, have never read any of my articles, and are still happy with your life, or 2) You are amazing at playing hard to get. Like you're the LeBron James of pretending you aren't obsessed with me. You purposely don't favorite my perfectly average tweets, you just "forget" to talk about me on talk shows, and you've just been pretending to be content with life.

Now, I'm a realist (one of my many qualities) and so I can only assume that the latter is true. But it doesn't have to be this way. It just doesn't! You don't have to bottle up your feelings. Go ahead and text me after you burn your tongue because your coffee was too hot (that's an inside joke we are going to make lol). Feel free to call me just to talk about your day or something less boring. Don't be afraid to snapchat me vague pictures with no context to show off how you look that day.

Roses are red violets are blue should we get married or no?

OK I know what you're thinking..." Wow! I didn't think men like this existed, but is he athletic?"

Well, AK (still not a good nickname) would an athlete win the 7th grade C-team state championship for basketball? Would an athlete be able to run a mile and only have to take two breaks? Would an athlete think about getting a gym membership sometime in the future? That's what I thought.

And it doesn't stop at athletics. Here is a list of some of my other attributes that I thought you'd be interested in:

1. I'm musicaI.

I kind of understand most of the lyrics to "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy.

2. I'm the perfect height.

I'm 5'9'' that means I'm not too short, but I'm also not a giant. I'm not going to be the guy at Coachella who awkwardly stands out in the crowd. People aren't going to be disappointed when they find out I don't play professional basketball. I just feel like it's a win-win for us.

3. I'm considerate.

If we're watching a movie and I want to watch a comedy, but you aren't in the mood to laugh, that's fine! We'll compromise and watch Anchorman 2.

4. I'm up for anything.

I'm just as happy staying in and staring at my phone as I am going out and staring at my phone.

5. I love breakfast for dinner.

It's just a very underrated meal and deserves more respect. Thanks for your support, everyone.

What else are you looking for in a companion? Wealth? Fame? Movie star good looks? Good luck meeting someone who fits those categories.

Look, I'm not asking for you to sit down and watch an entire "Fox News" broadcast with me. I'm just asking for you to date me then eventually get married, have kids, and move to a small private island where we can abandon technology completely and build are own society from scratch.

So, what do you say? You + me + one date (that lasts the rest of our lives)?

Let me know

‘All In the Family’ Sums Itself Up in a Storeroom

by Daniel Kurland

twosacrowd‘Genie in a Bottle’ is a recurring feature where each week a different bottle episode (an episode set entirely in one location, often designed to save money) from a comedy series is examined

"And how could any man that loves you tell you anything that's wrong?"

All in the Family is mandatory sitcom viewing. It came at the perfect time, while dealing with the perfect issues, and it was just the best kind of lightning in a television set possible. Norman Lear’s feather-ruffling comedy ran for nine seasons and over 200 episodes, before it transformed into the less fundamental, but still more satisfying than it deserved to be, Archie Bunker’s Place for an additional four seasons.

Lear was no stranger to controversy, with his sitcoms often reflecting the political activism that dominated the rest of his life, with important programs like Sanford and Sons, The Jeffersons, and Maude spilling out of him. All in the Family was often seen as the jewel in this activism crown, as the series depicted curmudgeons Edith and Archie Bunker, living next to their wildly different neighbors, the Stivics. Archie being dead-set in his antiquated ways and how these intermingled with the world around him consistently led to cutting edge comedy being produced. Comedy that took it upon itself to inform their audiences and come from a place of racial and societal inequality, all while making us laugh.

All in the Family was very much about understanding and accepting why Archie acted the way in which he did. We never expected the series to “fix” him, or that a proper series finale would depict Archie as a changed man. No, that’s never what this was about, but rather learning why someone is the way that they are, and loving them in spite of that.

If that’s what All in the Family’s mission statement was, then this episode more than works as the answer to that question. It so succinctly captures the point of the series that many viewers have since viewed it as the unofficial series finale to the show (as well as it being O’Connor’s favorite episode of the series). That’s how satisfying and charged these twenty-four minutes of television are.

“Two’s A Crowd” chronicles the events of Archie and Mike getting locked in the bar’s storeroom overnight. When escape begins to seem futile and the two realize that they’re stuck in this situation, the two turn to drinking and the episode slowly turns into an incredibly honest, personal look at who these people are. On its surface level, this feels like a very shallow episode attempt, with people getting locked in an environment being pretty par for the course when it comes to bottle episodes (even the two’s decision to turn to drinking is a move that’s resorted to often, and at several points in the episode I found myself thinking of the similarly somber, liquor-fueled “Art’s Night In” episode of The Larry Sanders Show). That’s why it’s so amazing once this episode starts working its magic and you realize what’s actually going on here.

Part of the joy of this episode is seeing how immediately worn down Archie is by Mike, before they even get into the storeroom. By the time that they do get locked in there, tempers are already high. “It’ll take me until the end of time to straighten you out,” Archie says to Mike, and once they’re stuck in the room together, he might actually have the time to do it. The two are the only characters that appear in the episode, and like most efforts of this nature, it acts as a perfect dissection of their relationship as well as their opposing viewpoints. Even their perceptions of their friendship are on the opposite ends of the spectrum, as Mike thinks Archie’s been rotten to them their entire time together, while Archie thinks he’s been perfectly jovial to his neighbor. Mike spends a portion of the episode simply yelling to be treated like a human being from Archie, as he sniggers on and pours himself another drink. This point of fracture ends up becoming a crucial part of the episode.

Archie and Mike run through a gamut of topics while locked in the room together while blame is constantly being thrown around. Efforts to break out of their cage only make matters worse, like a great segment that sees Mike shattering a window open only to realize there are bars on the outside, as snow now rains into their predicament. It’s interesting to see how the conversation is always moving as set piece to set piece is adeptly guided through, that by the time we hit the emotional closer, it’s felt weirdly established.

As Archie and Mike’s night in the storeroom progresses, the episode provides the series trademark silliness that’s tinged in sadness, like Archie’s story of his childhood nickname, “Shoebootie.” The anecdote is played for laughs, but it reveals a deeper side in the fact that Archie’s family was so poor that he had to wear one shoe and one boot in order to have a “matching” set of footwear to go out in. All of this is really just foreshadowing the hammer that’s about to fall when Archie begins to talk about his father.

There’s a weird tradition in sitcoms where the abusive father trope is plentiful and appears in places you wouldn’t expect it to (remember that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, for instance?). So while Archie’s admission of what his father did to him feels a little reductive accordingly, this is still one of the better implementations of the trope, and it feels far from being manipulative.

In fact, Archie’s abusive father seems to be the lynchpin of his whole close-minded persona. His father had these tendencies and so he saw it as only natural to carry them on. If deep down his father loved him — in spite of everything he did — then of course he should be adopting his beliefs as the ultimate form of respect and love.

There’s a powerful exchange of dialogue where Archie talks about getting beat up by an African-American for calling him the n-word, stating that it’s what everyone was calling them at the time, and certainly what his father was calling them. Mike chastises his own father for speaking that way, knowing that it wasn’t right, but then more than earnestly asks Archie, "Did you ever possibly stop to think that your father could be wrong?" Archie nearly explodes at his friend here, spitting venom at him as he barks out, "My father was wrong!? Let me tell you something…You're supposed to love your father because your father loves you. And how could any man that loves you tell you anything that's wrong?"

It’s truly a heartbreaking scene that Carroll O’Connor puts his everything into, as you see him tortured over grappling how to love his father, a man who loved him, but also put him through hell. While the moment is illuminating to the audience, it’s simultaneously eye opening for Mike, who has a wholly different opinion on how to honor someone. There’s also the masterful connection to be made when Archie also lets out that his father once locked him in a closet for seven hours to “teach him a lesson.” As Archie and Mike find themselves trapped inside a similar enclosure for just as long, you can’t help but think of the unconscious lesson that Archie might be bestowing on Mike, as hostile as it may be.

The final moments are sublime as Mike slowly realizes that Archie is also telling him how much he loves him — even if the alcohol might be a large factor in the confession. After eight years, these two are finally equals so to speak, and it makes the departure of the Stivics that happens almost immediately after this episode all the more poignant.

So much of All in the Family is predicated on Archie being forced to be around the Stivics when he’d prefer to be anywhere else, but this is the ultimate form of that as the bottle episode truly forces Archie and Mike to be together. This relentless proximity is what also makes the honesty and closeness that they share possible, and without it, we may never have gotten to the depths of Archie that are hit here. It’s a beautiful revelation, and to be coming so late in the series’ life, it’s a surprising reminder of what can be achieved with this device, rather than just churning them out for economical purposes in the infancy of a show’s run. In this case, it was exactly like you were having a drink with an old friend. A friend that you’re comfortable with, love to pieces, and know all too well, and so when a bombshell is dropped, you’re more than equipped to navigate through the debris.

Goodnight, Shoebootie. We still love you no matter what you’ve done.

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Megan Fox Look Alike

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Get Out

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You’ve Gotta be Kidding Me

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Are You Excited for the Full House Reboot?

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Because it's definitely happening.

Between this, new X-Files episodes and the bewildering Coach reboot, the 1990s are coming back, big time.

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Just Keep Swearing

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Candace Cameron Texts The Olsen Twins About The Full House Reboot

Candace Cameron Texts The Olsen Twins About The Full House Reboot

Candace Cameron Texts The Olsen Twins... Submitted by: Potts Regular Keywords: Candice Cameron Texts The Olsen Twins About The Full House Reboot full house reboot full house sequel olsen twins full house full house netflix full house reunion cut it out mary kate olsen ashley olsen everywhere you look wake up san francisco Views: 19,159

I Miss You Robin, We All Do

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Close Your Blinds

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Kitten Lovers

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How to Sound Like a <i>Game of Thrones</i> Expert if You’ve Never Seen It

It's back for another season, and if you are HBO-less like me, you feel lost around the water cooler when your co-workers start talking about Game of Thrones. But because the show is so complex, there are a few general statements you can say that can make it appear like you watch the show. Here are five-and-half ways to pretend you watch Game of Thrones:

1. "Peter Dinklage is amazing!"

Playing Tyrion Lannister, this disgruntled family outcast steals the show. Without getting too film-critic-nerdy about it, he is rad! Trust me, if you simply sing his praises around others who watch the show, you will appear to be one of them.

2. "Can you believe they killed what's-his-or-her-name!? I was just starting to like him or her!"

When watching Game of Thrones, you can't fall in love with any of the characters (men, women, or eunuchs) because as soon as you do, they die. It's just sort of a thing that happens on the show. Talking about death is almost always a safe bet because odds are someone of significance died in this week's episode. The additional beauty of this statement is you don't have to know the character names. Saying "what's his/her name" will suffice because even fans of the show can't always keep the names straight.

3. "Romantically involved siblings are gross!"

This is something that should go without saying, but chiming in with this at least proves you've watched an episode or two. The additional advantage of this comment is that people will likely not want to follow up, because, well, where do you really go with that topic at work? By going this route, it will look like you watch the show with the added benefit of not worrying about being challenged with show-specific follow-up questions that you won't know the answers to.

4. "Geez, how long does it take for winter to come? They are still wearing shorts and tank tops under their armor in Westeros."

"Winter is coming" is an often used tagline on the show, but now into the fifth season, it appears that the arrival of winter is taking a bit longer than advertised, with many of the kingdoms still enjoying tropical weather or desert-like conditions. You can also throw in a quip like, "I wish our winters were that nice! Huh? Am I right?" Saying something like this could change the topic to your local weather, which you don't need HBO to be an expert on ... you simply need a window.

5. "Jon Snow is dreamy/Khaleesi is hot."

These are the two heartthrobs of the show (at least until one of them dies) so whatever your gender preference, simply blurt this out and it will seem like you are a regular Game of Thrones groupie.

And five-and-a-half: "I like dragons."

This is just a fun thing to say. And while it may not make you an internet star like saying "I like turtles," I think you'll still enjoy it.

--

Jack Stahlmann is a corporate speaker and Huffington Post blogger. He can be reached at www.dontflinchguy.com

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American Voices: Study: Men Gamble Bigger When Physically Attractive Guys Are Around

According to a new study, heterosexual men in gambling situations made bigger and riskier bets after being shown photographs of male Abercrombie and Fitch models and other attractive men, with scientists explaining that “men want to appear more desi...

One Way To Get Rid Of Bees

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So This Is What It Means To Be A ‘Brave’ Actress

You can be deemed a "brave" actress for adopting a foreign accent or even playing the villain. But when you're the romantic lead and don't look like you walked out of the pages of Vogue, you're on a whole other level, according to some critics.

Sketch comedy group It's Megan skewers the sexist silliness in the "So Brave" video posted on Funny Or Die.

And you know what? For tackling this subject, It's Megan is so brave.

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HBO Orders a Pilot and Standup Special by Whitney Cummings

by Megh Wright

whitney_cummingsComedian and 2 Broke Girls co-creator Whitney Cummings is going into business with HBO. Deadline reports that the pay network has ordered a pilot for a half-hour comedy from Cummings based on Maureen Dowd's 2005 book Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide. Cummings created the series and will also write and star in the pilot, which is described as — and get ready for it, because it's a mouthful — "a comedic portrait of modern relationships that focuses on human nature and social construction using documentary elements and appearances from experts to help the characters understand the biological basis of their behavior." In addition to the pilot, Cummings will also film her first HBO standup special this fall; it's slated to premiere on the network sometime next year.

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The Barber Gets You

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Those Damn Wizards

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When’s Tea Time? All the Time?

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Snow White’s White Wedding

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Baby, Baby, Baby It’s Cold Outside

"What's wrong?" I asked my husband as he stumbled into the kitchen. "You look awful."

My husband sniffled to me miserably. "I have a cold."

"Which kind is it?" I wondered. "A Vin Diesel or a Matthew McConaughey?"

"Huh?" He stared at me in bewilderment.

"A Vin Diesel is the kind of cold that comes on fast and furious," I explained. "A Matthew McConaughey meanders around for a while and then, BOOM, it gets you."

My husband gave me a look that was two parts, "my head is completely stuffed," and one part, "my wife is certifiably nuts."

"It's a well known fact that there are hundreds of different cold viruses," I continued. "I thought it made sense to come up with some names for them to keep them straight."

He shook his head. "So you named them after celebrities?"

I shrugged. "Well, I was going to name them after family members, but I thought that might get me in trouble."

He nodded. "Good plan."

Having been on the receiving end of countless nasty colds, I realized that like snowflakes, no two colds were alike. However there were a number of distinct categories that many colds fell into. Of course knowing what kind of cold you have doesn't make it any better, or shorter, or less goopy. But at least it's a somewhat entertaining diversion when you're so congested you feel like your head is filled with cake batter.

"There are about a dozen other colds I have identified so far," I said to my husband, retrieving my master Celebrity Colds list from the junk drawer and reading it to him.

1. The Bruce Willis - The same old cold you get every time.

2. The Sylvester Stallone - The cold that hangs around forever.

3. The Meryl Streep - The cold that is essentially the same as your last cold but with a slight accent on a different symptom.

4. The Robert DeNiro - The cold that makes you feel like someone took a hit out on you.

5. The Joe Pesci - The small but mighty cold.

6. The Shia LaBeouf - The cold that gives you delusions that you're better than you really are

7. The Alec Baldwin - The cold you share with your whole family.

8. The Ryan Gosling - The cold that gives women chills and a fever.

9. The Kardashian - The cold you get from being over-exposed

10. The Arnold Schwarzenegger - The cold that just keeps coming back.

11. The Russell Crowe - The cold that messes up your voice so you can't sing.

12. The Nicholas Cage - The cold that comes in lots of different forms, but no matter what it is, it's never good.

My husband listened to my list and then thought for a moment.

"Well, I look terrible, I sound awful, and the kids are sick of me," he finally said. "What do you call that one?"

I nodded. "The Justin Bieber."

Tracy is a syndicated humor columnist and the author of "Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir"

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Someone Release This Beauty

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John Boehner Vetoes Hillary’s Campaign for the Presidency

2015-04-20-1429543225-7532755-johnBYard.jpg Photographer: Gage Skidmore - Flickr: John Boehner



The Speaker of the House has spoken. In an unprecedented political move, John Boehner today announced that he has vetoed Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Presidency -- effective immediately.

Looking even more smug than normal, Boehner spoke to a packed crowd of reporters in the Chrysanthemum Garden -- otherwise known as the back yard of his house in Washington, DC.

Boehner said: "I believe the Executive powers outlined in the Constitution apply to me as an Executive of the United States Congress -- including, hell yeah, the power of the veto!

I am therefore vetoing Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Presidency on the following grounds:

Firstly, it violates the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution, which prohibits cruel and unusual punishment from being inflicted on the American people. Seriously folks, can you imagine 18 months of constant Hillary! That's going to be torture!

Secondly, it violates the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution, which grants all Americans the right to be secure in their houses and persons. Frankly, if a woman wins the Presidency, no man in America is going to feel secure in his own house and absolutely, definitely not in his own person!! Particularly if it's THIS woman!!!

Finally, and most importantly, Hillary's campaign for the Presidency, violates the first amendment of the Constitution, which guarantees the right to free speech!! Honestly people, with Hillary in the White House, none of us guys in Congress will be able to speak freely or get a word in edgewise once she gets going. And worse still, there'll be hell to pay if we don't listen to her!"

Boehner revealed that he had consulted a number of Constitutional scholars and is convinced that he is on solid legal ground in issuing his "Stop Hillary" veto. The aforementioned scholars are rumored to have included Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Herman Cain, Rush Limbaugh and Carrot Top.

When asked what he'd do if, as is expected, Hillary Clinton refuses to end her campaign, Boehner said: "In keeping with the rights afforded to me under the Constitution, and upon the advice of my lawyers, I take the Fifth."

Given the extraordinary statements Boehner made today, many people will undoubtedly conclude that his "veto" is another example of an ongoing 'Republican War on Women'.

In an attempt to dispel that particular notion, Boehner said: "This 'Republican War on Women' thing is a myth. We just don't support equal pay, equal rights, pro choice, any legislation that protects women from abuse, and above all a woman President. But apart from that, hey, we love women!!"

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Watch Foodies Get a Colonic for the First Time (NSFW)

foodbeast-gets-a-colonic
"What the hell is a colonic?" I asked our video director, Marc, as he continued to brief the team on the schedule for the day.

He turned to me with his answer, a smug look on his face, "You're gonna learn what a colonic is today. It's going to be educational, something will be shoved up your butt, but your colon will get a cleansing and we're gonna give people a complete look at the process. You guys also eat like shit every day, so this is something you probably need."

I should have called in sick that morning.

"You guys also eat like shit every day, so this is something you probably need."

The colonic was already booked at a place called The Springs, what some refer to as "The most L.A. place in L.A." Essentially, it's a huge warehouse beautifully outfitted with a vegan juice and food bar, yoga studio, infrared saunas and an open air chill-zone for anyone who happens to be in LA and just needs to be even more LA.

I hated Marc in that moment.

He had a point, I had always heard about colonics, but I really knew nothing tangible about the process. And frankly, he was right... as food journalists, we're blessed (and cursed) with some deliciously decadent meals on a daily basis. We were indeed some of the prime candidates for a colon cleansing, and why not document the entire process?

Everything:



Written by Elie Ayrouth of Foodbeast

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If Facebook Existed During WWII

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From the “Too Real” Department

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The Denver Police in Pot-Legal Colorado Had a Special 4/20 Message for Everyone

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Waka Flocka Flame Says He’s Running For President

Hillary Clinton's got some competition.

In an interview with Rolling Stone on Monday, rapper Waka Flocka Flame made good on a 2012 tweet and announced his bid for the 2016 presidency, with DJ Whoo Kid as his running mate.

"I'm very pleased to announce today on 4/20, the best day of the year, I will be running for president," he said before rolling a blunt. "The first thing I'm going to do when I get into office is legalize marijuana."

Last year, Flame announced he was hiring a personal blunt roller with a $50,000 annual salary.

Other items on his platform include banning dogs from restaurants and people with feet over size 13 from walking in public, requiring children to learn his lyrics in school and raising the minimum wage.

"I feel like all fast food restaurants should be paying $15 an hour, since In-N-Out Burger is doing it" he said. "Great f****ing idea In-N-Out Burger."

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If You’re Looking To Study A New Language

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Encouraging U.S. Department Of Labor Reminds Job Seekers About All The Dumbfucks Out There

WASHINGTON—In a gesture of encouragement toward the millions of Americans struggling to find work in a difficult job market, the U.S.

Discover The AWESOME POWER Of Repeating Your Female Coworkers’ Ideas A Little Louder!

Discover The AWESOME POWER Of Repeating Your Female Coworkers' Ideas A Little Louder!

Discover The AWESOME POWER Of Repeati... Chaz Griggs teaches you about his INCREDIBLE CAREER-BOOSTING TECHNIQUE of "Repeating Your Female Coworkers' Ideas A Little Louder" Submitted by: Amos Vernon Regular Keywords: motivational speaker misogyny douchebag yes all women life coach sexism Views: 3,092

The Next Wave 2015: The Top Up-and-Coming Comics in Los Angeles

by Samantha Pitchel

nextwave-la-2015Welcome to the second semi-annual edition of The Next Wave, Splitsider’s roundup of exciting new comic voices from around the country.

Splitsider readers are no doubt familiar with most of the established stand-ups in the country – ones who have risen up via TV appearances, podcasts, Twitter — but what about the newer names who will be popping up on everybody's radars over the next year or two?

Today we’re taking a look at the biggest, fastest growing comedy scene in the country: Los Angeles. Land of endless summer, countless TV writing gigs, and hundreds of amazing comedy shows every week, LA’s the best place to discover your next favorite performer (before they make it big). We reached out to some of the city’s most informed comedy bookers, festival producers, journalists, and industry insiders, and asked them to share their current favorite up-and-comers with us. The Next Wave was compiled with input and guidance from:

Troy Conrad (Set List, Prompter)
Jamie Flam (Hollywood Improv)
Emily V. Gordon (The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail)
Mandee Johnson and Joel Mandelkorn (The Super Serious Show, Hot Tub with Kurt and Kristen)
Jake Kroeger (The Comedy Bureau)
Abbey Londer (Riot LA Comedy Festival)
Matt Lottman and Frank Chad Muniz (Comedy Living Room)
Julie Seabaugh (Variety, Rolling Stone)
Mike Still (UCB LA)

Los Angeles's Next Wave:

Ashley Barnhill (@ashley_barnhill)

A skilled writer with almost unnervingly deadpan delivery, Barnhill has quickly established herself as one of LA’s sharpest comics (as evidenced by her current undefeated streak at the Comedy Store’s infamous Roast Battle). Last year, she was a finalist on Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s HBO series, Project Greenlight, and she’s currently working on the upcoming season of Maron; she’s also been opening for Dave Chappelle on some of his most recent tour dates.

Rachel Bloom (@racheldoesstuff)

Equal parts comic, singer, and actress, former Robot Chicken writer Bloom created one of last year’s smartest and most original pilots, My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. She also voices several characters on BoJack Horseman, and has released an entire album of Chanukah parody songs. Bloom’s behind several dozen incredibly catchy (and incredibly nerdy) parodies including the Hugo Award-nominated “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” and legit dance anthem “Die When I’m Young”.

Drennon Davis (@drennondavis)

Musician and comic Davis blends his skills onstage with the help of a few looper pedals and some impressive beatboxing. In his completely unique show, The Imaginary Radio Program, Davis’ one-man band plays dozens of characters from stations across the dial, deftly skewering pop music and talk radio banter. He’s appeared on the original Last Comic Standing series and, more recently, on Adam Devine’s House Party.

Jesse Elias (@finalfanjesse7)

A completely unpredictable master of darkly absurd, layered humor, Elias has appeared at some of the country’s biggest comedy festivals (including Just for Laughs, where he was featured on the 2014 New Faces showcase). He was a writer on season two of The Eric Andre Show, and is also known for writing some of Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction’s craziest stories.

Mary Holland (@mholland85)

An incredibly talented comic actress with a range and innate charm reminiscent of Kristen Wiig’s, Holland frequently stars in videos for Funny or Die, CollegeHumor, and UCBComedy.com. She’s also appeared on numerous episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! (both the podcast and the IFC series), and had a memorable role on the first season of Silicon Valley. A staple of the LA improv scene, she performs live with several UCB house teams, plus acclaimed improv supergroup Wild Horses.

Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson)

A writer for The Soup and The Onion, Ingebretson’s ability to put a wry spin on absolutely anything is mirrored in his standup (and in his love of posting absurd signs all around LA). He’s the creator of several web series that feature standups, including Matt’s Game Chamber and Idiot Fencing, and he founded humor anthology The Impolite, a collection of writing by LA comics.

Jak Knight (@itsjak_knight)

Knight’s the kind of comic whose easygoing affability can charm any crowd, a skill that earned him a spot on Comedy Central’s 2014 Comics to Watch list. He’s a Seattle native who moved to LA almost immediately after performing standup for the first time. It was a good move — he frequently appears on some of the best alt comedy shows in the city, and he landed a job writing for animated series Lucas Bros Moving Co.

Whitmer Thomas (@whitmerthomas)

Named one of Just for Laughs’ New Faces in 2014, Thomas is an Alabama native with undeniable Southern charm and a truly magnetic stage presence (and it comes across onscreen: last year, Thomas starred in a pilot, a film, and appeared on several sitcoms including Workaholics). He’s 1/4 of comedy collective Power Violence, known for their endearingly chaotic live shows and acclaimed videos; along with the rest of the group, he’s also a writer and co-star on the animated series Stone Quackers.

Dave Thomason (@dave_thomason)

A comic whose babyfaced charm makes his sharp, sometimes dark wit even more delightful, Thomason was a recent finalist in Comedy Central’s nationwide UP NEXT competition, and he recently made his TV debut on Adam Devine’s House Party. He’s been featured on NPR and Sirius XM, and appeared at a handful of festivals, including the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Fest (he was also awarded Rooftop’s coveted Silver Nail Award). He’s currently a writer’s assistant on @midnight.

Baron Vaughn (@barvonblaq)

An acclaimed comic with his own Comedy Central Half Hour, dozens of festival spots, and many appearances on MTV and VH1, Vaughn can barely be labeled an “emerging” comic, but 2015 is definitely a big year for the longtime LA favorite, who has a lead role on the highly anticipated forthcoming Netflix series Grace and Frankie. A classically trained actor (who also co-hosts the Wolfpop podcast, Maltin on Movies), Vaughn will fit right in with co-stars Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin.

Also check out our list of the top up-and-coming comics in New York.

First two photos by Mindy Tucker.

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Good Job, Bing

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You Can Breath Through the Tiny Hole

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Celebrate Your Celibacy With Game of Thrones!

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Neil DeGrasse Tyson Reads Mean Tweets

Furious 7 Gets a Pixar Remake

Places Cats Sleep, Where They Shouldn’t

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Sometimes the Kiddie Pool is Even More Fun For Dad

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When You Keep Looking At This Picture

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Lesbian Couple’s Side-By-Side Pregnancy Photos Are Truly Aww-Worthy

When North Carolina moms Melanie and Vanessa Iris Roy shared their side-by-side maternity photos on Instagram, they were not anticipating the viral fame that would follow.

melanie roy

The couple took the photos one year apart: First in January 2014 when Vanessa Iris was pregnant with their son Jax, and next in January 2015 while Melanie was carrying their daughter Ero.

Though the Roys posted the photos on Instagram two months ago, it wasn't until about two weeks back that the images started reaching viral status, after they appeared on several LGBT-focused sites -- including a Brazilian advocacy group's Facebook page, where it reached over 150,000 likes.

"It's crazy to see that people were referring to my family as an inspiration. We are still in complete shock," Melanie told The Huffington Post.

The moms hope that their side-by-side photos can serve as encouragement to other lesbian couples. Says Melanie, "Vanessa and I have always said we would both like to carry."

"The woman's body is incredible. The way it creates and grows another human being is amazing. We hope that our picture is that sign that some women may need to encourage them to carry a child."

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OK, This Kid Has Gone Too Far

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Better Call Alfred, He’ll Take Care of That Burn

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You Probably Won’t See Danny Tanner On ‘Fuller House’ (No, Not That Danny Tanner)

"Full House" is officially coming back with revival "Fuller House," and Netflix is trying to get everyone to return. We're talking Uncle Joey, Uncle Jesse, the milkman, the paperboy and the evening TV. But there's one character you probably won't see: Danny Tanner.

No, we're not talking about Bob Saget. We mean the original Danny Tanner: actor John Posey.


Image: Yahoo


Wait, what?

It's true. "Full House" almost had a totally different Danny Tanner. Just watch how the opening sequence looked before Saget joined the show, and prepare to have your mind blown:



Weird, right? Saget was reportedly sought after by ABC, but he only came on board after the network had shot the entire pilot with Posey as the Tanner patriarch. And the remake was pretty much shot-for-shot:

tv show gifs
Image: YouTube Full House Opening/Pilot

(Those Olsen twins were probably some confused little girls.)

Posey recalled the experience to Yahoo TV:

I get a phone call, go to the phone booth, as we used to do in those days [laughing], returned the call, and it was my agent saying, "I don't know what's going on, but for some reason they're testing Bob Saget." And I said, "What are you talking about? Why would they do that?" I didn't know at the time that he was the guy that they originally wanted, that he was just unavailable ... And I guess the executive producer talked ABC into allowing him to re-shoot. So that was the end of that.

Things worked out for everyone in the end. "Full House" went on to be a colossal success and Posey would appear in a number of shows and projects of his own. He's also the father of "Teen Wolf" star Tyler Posey, so talent (and perhaps werewolf genes) seems to run in the family.

It's crazy to think how close the show was to being very different, but it's hard to imagine Danny Tanner as anyone else but this guy:


Image: Giphy

Posey did not immediately respond to The Huffington Post about his status for the "Full House" revival.

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Why Didn’t I Think Of This Before

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The Relationship I Want

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Lena Dunham Says Season 6 of ‘Girls’ Will Probably Be Its Last

by Megh Wright

girls_hboLena Dunham is currently filming the fifth season of Girls, and while it hasn't officially been renewed for a sixth season yet, Dunham recently told Variety that season 6 will most likely be the show's final run. "I think America has a tendency to push shows past their due dates," she said. "I like the British model — in and out." Dunham isn't sure yet where Girls will leave Hannah at the very end: "Will she be with anyone? That's the question. And how important is it ending up with someone, and is that the marker of success for a woman?" If you're sad that Girls won't extend past season 6, don't worry — if Dunham has her way, Hannah and crew will reunite in a decade for a Girls movie: "I have fantasies of us all coming back when we're 40. We’d want to wait long enough for something to have really gone down."

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Every Wonder Who Is Buying What Sex Toys?

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She Cut Her Own Hair… Again

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FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

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Earthrise Over the Moon

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Blush Accomplished

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Scythe vs. Weed Whacker

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A Little Crazy, You Say?

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Pepesaur and Ash Feelum

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American Voices: Study: Men Gamble Bigger When Physically Attractive Guys Are Around

According to a new study, heterosexual men in gambling situations made bigger and riskier bets after being shown photographs of male Abercrombie and Fitch models and other attractive men, with scientists explaining that “men want to appear more desi...

It Looks So Fragile

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Amy Schumer Makes David Letterman Hilariously Uncomfortable With Her ‘Vagina’

When you know you're having your last interview with David Letterman as host of "The Late Show," you obviously want to go out with a bang.

Comedian and Peabody Award winner Amy Schumer made the most of her late-night appearance on Monday after telling an anecdote from the MTV Movie Awards about how she always says the wrong thing to celebrities. Letterman basically gave her carte blanche by saying, "Since we probably won't be on the show together again, do something now that you'll regret."

Without missing a beat, Schumer gets up to show the audience her surfing scar, otherwise known as her "vagina," at least for the purposes of this bit. Watch the clip to see how fast Letterman's face turns red.

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Medical Experts Disappointed With Man Who Failed To Live Up To Life Expectancy

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Explaining that the man’s lifestyle, ethnicity, and family history had all indicated a more favorable outcome, members of the medical community expressed their disappointment Tuesday after learning that Florida resident Andrew ...

Relationship Reaches Point Where Breaking Up, Getting Married Would Be Equally Huge Hassle

KNOXVILLE, TN—Saying that both options would involve unwanted and burdensome investments of time and energy, local woman Amy Harris reported Tuesday that her four-year relationship with Will Mollison had come to the point where breaking up or gettin...

Geraldo the Giant Giraffe

Occasionally I visit the same store where years ago I bought Beyoncé the Giant Metal Chicken.  Usually it’s all pillows and dog toys and wicker baskets.  Sometimes you’ll find a largish metal lobster and once there was a full-sized horse made of wine corks and sticks, but it’s never anything that really screams, “HEY, I’M FUCKING INSANE“.

Until today.

Oh, helloooo.

Oh, helloooo.

He was magnificent, but even on clearance he was way out of my price range.  I tried to convince the clerk that they should sell me the 11 foot giraffe for half the asking price but he was having none of it.  I argued that I’d bought a metal chicken half that size for one fifth of that price but he acted like math wasn’t relevant.  “THIS IS HIGHWAY ROBBERY” I may have yelled.  I pointed out that the giant giraffe was leading the eyes of customers up to a water stain in the ceiling but the clerk just shrugged and said you can’t haggle in a department store.  I was like “YOU CAN’T HAGGLE IN A DEPARTMENT STORE” and I guess he didn’t understand that he was being challenged because he was all, “Yeah.  That’s what I just said.”

The sadness of a giraffe in captivity.

The sadness of a giraffe in captivity.

I considered accidentally falling into the giraffe so that it would be dented and get discounted even more but I was afraid he would knock over other stuff and all of the displays would fall like dominoes, trapping innocent shoppers.  And also, I’m not up-to-date on my tetanus shot.  And also he was really heavy and I could only lift one giraffe leg before the manager came and said “Can I help you. ma’am?”  But he didn’t want to help me topple the giraffe or barter for it so I guess the answer is that no, no one can help me.  

Also I felt torn because there were two of them and I didn’t really want to split up a family.  You’d have to though because who needs two giant metal giraffes?  That’s just hoarding.

Oh, helloooo.

“Victor, I bought us new bookends.”

I told Victor that if I had Geraldo (with a hard G) Giraffe I could use him whenever I needed to change out lightbulbs and couldn’t find a ladder.  But he didn’t look entirely sturdy so I’d need Victor’s help.  I’d be like, “Hey, I need you to hold the giraffe so I can reach the crystal chandelier” and then Victor pointed out that we don’t even have a chandelier and I was like “Exactly.  And we can spend all the money we didn’t spend on the chandelier we don’t have on this giraffe.”  Victor did not agree because he doesn’t understand how money works.

Frankly, I was surprised the store still had two giraffes in stock but the clerk told me that they were the only giraffes they had and none had been sold.  I nodded and explained that it was probably because having two of them displayed together made them seem less special.  Like having the Hope Diamond next to a Hope Diamond Junior.  So technically the store should have let me buy the biggest one for a cheaper price because then it would be easier for them to sell the smaller giant giraffe because the person who bought the next one would be like “I JUST BOUGHT THE BIGGEST GIRAFFE EVER AND NO ONE ELSE HAS ANYTHING LIKE IT” because they didn’t have an eleven foot giraffe to compare it to.  I’d be doing that person a favor because you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about buying an 8 foot giraffe, but if you have a 11 foot giraffe next to it that’s just inevitable.

It seemed like it would be worth it just to see the clerks have to carry an eleven foot giraffe out of the store and strap it to the hood of my car.  Victor disagreed and started yelling about me “scratching the paint” but obviously I’d wrap the giraffe with towels first so it wouldn’t scratch the paint of the giraffe.  I’m not stupid, Victor.  But then he said I was missing the point and I guess the point is that he doesn’t want me to buy towels.

But it didn’t matter because  they wouldn’t give me a discount and I’m not paying $500 for a giraffe that isn’t at least on wheels so I can take it for walks.  I’m too selfish.  Much like the people at this store apparently.   

I argued that “you should let me have these giraffes cheaper because then you’ll have more room for more giraffes.  Think about how many giant metal giraffes corporate will send you when they see you’re finally moving these.  Next month you might get a life-sized t-rex.  Or a metal full-sized oil rig.  Or a metal version of this store filled with metal pillows and metal dog toys and metal wicker baskets.”  Then the clerk just sort of looked at me like, “My God, she’s right.”  Victor said his look was more like, “Holy shit, I’m going to have price these fuckers even more.  Someone get me a sharpie so I can add a few zeros.”

So, no, I haven’t bought Geraldo yet, but I did invest in a bag of defective unicorns and Victor was all “You just LEAK money” but I pointed out that these unicorns are like 90 cents each.  You can’t even buy a coke for 90 cents and these are magical unicorns.  Victor pointed out that they’re broken unicorns, but I’m pretty sure I’m proof that you can be broken and magical all at the same time.

Victor couldn’t argue with that, but he did say I’m not allowed to call anything I buy “an investment” anymore.  We’re agreeing to disagree on that one.

defective unicorns

Inside the ‘SNL’ Documentary ‘Live From New York!’ with Director Bao Nguyen

by Michelle Houle

livefromnewyorkThe world premiere of the new Saturday Night Live documentary, Live From New York!, opened the 2015 Tribeca Film Festival on April 15.

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Director Bao Nguyen to discuss the process of making the documentary, what is was like to have access to the show’s archives, and how SNL can stay culturally relevant for the next 40 years.

Congratulations. Were you pleased with the response?

Thank you. Yeah, it was overwhelming. We, the team, have seen the film so many times, and we stopped laughing after a while with certain sketches. Just to see the response and really see how people still connect. You know, everyone is laughing at very different parts of the film too. SNL being around for over 40 years and it being really kind of a generational show, I was interested to see would people laugh at the early seasons as much as they would the last? And it seemed to be kind of a consensus response, so I was completely overwhelmed and thankful. I thought that was kind of the best place you can watch a film like that in New York, opening night at Tribeca, and having people just laugh out loud the whole time.

Were you a fan of Saturday Night Live growing up?

I was. My first memories of watching SNL was when I was maybe like 9 or something. I would sneak out of my bedroom on a Saturday night. My parents were asleep and I would start watching the show as a 9 year old. I didn’t know exactly what I was watching, but I was like, oh, this looks fun. And then I would get this idea of America that I wouldn't get from other types of programs.

I grew up in an immigrant household. My parents immigrated to America after the Vietnam War so they were making me watch the Nightly News to kinda get a sense of America. And from watching the Nightly News, I get a sense that America had lots of shootings and things like that.

By watching SNL, I get this perverse version of America, but it's still pretty accurate because, you know, every week they have to reflect what's going on. And also not in just politics and in news, but in pop culture, celebrity culture, television shows. So even the shows that I wasn't allowed to watch, I could understand it through the lens of SNL and what they were doing.

Who were your favorite cast members growing up?

I guess the bad boys of the SNL years. Early '90s. Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, David Spade, Chris Rock. Those are the years I remember, but even going into college and, or high school and seeing Will Ferrell do his thing and seeing him from the beginning and seeing how he is now, it's sort of crazy. Then I really loved Tina Fey on Weekend Update. It’s hard to pinpoint a certain cast member because everyone has their different qualities and different talents. You can always find one cast member in every group that you really enjoy watching.

Did you have a favorite sketch?

You're always thinking about the first memory you have of anything, like when you think about your favorite food, it's the one your mom cooked for you back in the day. For me, the sketch that I remember really vividly growing up was the GAP Girls sketch. It’s Adam Sandler, it's David Spade, and Chris Farley dressed up as female GAP employees just whining about their day.

It's kind of hilarious and every time I watch that, they just have great replay value, those sketches. Because even if you know what the punch line is, it's just their delivery and you get this nostalgic feeling watching it again. Because you know exactly what's going to happen. You think about the memory of the first time you watched it. In a way, I think that's the beauty of watching SNL.

As a long-time fan, how was it to have access to the SNL archives?

It was crazy going in to something that's been around for 40 years. As a filmmaker, I was overwhelmed. As a fan, I was like, this is great. I can just watch SNL episodes. Or really kind of pinpointing our specific approach to the subject, which is not necessarily the funniest clips, the most popular clips, or the most likable characters, or the most controversial cast members, but it's how SNL really reflected and impacted America sometimes. With that specific approach, it made it easier filtering through all those archives. But of course, you can't ask for anything more than watching all these hilarious clips.

I'm used to doing a lot of social issue documentaries where you have to watch a lot of more depressing archival footage, but this was quite a pleasure.

Why did you choose SNL as a subject?

Well, I didn't choose it. Actually I was approached with this project from our producers Tom Broecker and J.L. Pomeroy. Tom has been a costume designer on SNL for 25 years and he's a close advisor to Lorne. He’s worked with J.L. in the past, so they wanted to build something around the 40th anniversary. And something that was different from all the old Ken Bowser documentaries that were made before which look at very specific eras and cast members. But we wanted to do something that was a little broader, but had this specific approach.

I had worked with J.L. in the past on a short film and they just came to me and asked me, “Would you be interested in working on a project about SNL?” And I jumped at the opportunity.

What were some of the major themes and elements you were trying to get across in this documentary?

I mean there's a lot of controversial themes. Maybe not controversial, but themes that people don't really talk about on some of the specials. Like the lack of diversity on the show, the certain forms of racism that sketches address and also cast members experienced on the show, lack of gender diversity, things like that.

As an Asian-American filmmaker, I definitely wanted to explore diversity in media. I think SNL is ahead of most programs in media, but maybe that's not saying a lot right now. I hope that this has been a good year for diversity and I hope that continues.

I think sometimes people think that if you're an Asian standup comic, then you can be on SNL. But SNL has a very specific form of sketch comedy that’s really hard. The work environment at SNL is a really high energy, high pressure of environment, so I don't think someone who does standup maybe could handle that type of pressure.

I think it's better for people to kind of take their time and find someone who's really right to be on the cast than rush someone and think let's just kind of fill in this role. And then they fail miserably on the show.

But, we saw with someone like Leslie Jones who, at first, she's a standup comic and she came on as a writer. And she's been great on Weekend Update and now she's doing sketch and she's coming into her own a lot more. But I think she really kills it on Weekend Update every time she's on.

That was one of my favorite parts of the documentary. Leslie Jones was almost like the star of the film.

Exactly. I guess that was the only time we focused on one cast member in a way, but I think it said a lot about today as a whole. How we react to comedy and react to certain taboos in comedy. Her sketch was the launch pad for us to talk about that more.

With all the material you had, was there anything you were disappointed to have to cut out and edit from the finished film?

40 years that's edited into a feature film is quite a feat and we could have made a 10-hour film and still missed a lot of things. Hindsight is 20/20. I think maybe, looking back, I would talk about diversity a little more in depth and talk about it on a critical standpoint. But again, we included kind of the most critical sound bites from people.

Even Chris Rock is saying that funny is the first part of being a comedian. That's SNL's role, to be funny and entertaining. Its role is not to kind of fill quotas and be that iconic, diverse institution. I mean, they realize that by having diversity it helps their cause in the end by hiring Sasheer [Zamata] and Leslie [Jones]. There’s so many different things they have to juggle and now that that's happened, I think they're definitely keeping it on the forefront when they're casting.

How did you decide which cast members and hosts to interview?

I mean, you have, again, 40 years of casts and hosts and musical guests. Just walking through those hallways of 8H. Just looking at all the photos, I'm like, Jesus, everyone has walked through here. That was the hardest part of the film is figuring out who we're going to talk to.

We had a very specific thesis to the subject of SNL, that's through the lens that we picked people and how we filtered who we were going to talk to.

We didn't necessarily pick someone who was the most popular character, or the most wealthy cast member to come out of SNL, or who was a fan favorite, but who really had sketches that reflected American culture, and in many cases, impacted American culture, and what was the story behind that? And not so much the story behind like Opera Man or something like that.

From being on the set and seeing how the show came together, what was the most interesting thing you learned about the process of SNL?

In terms of the process specifically, getting to meet all these amazing crafts people. A lot of them have been on the show for 20 plus years, and a few of them have been on the show since the beginning. We highlight two of them in the film. Eugene Lee [set designer] and Leo Yoshimura [production designer]. And Leo has only missed one show in 40 years. He's been on the show longer than Lorne has really.

And to see how much passion that they have for their job still. When you're working at such a high-paced and high-energy environment, it's crazy. I don't see anyone with that type of dedication to a job in any field and, and in film in general, or film and television, people get pretty tired of things quickly.

So to be on a show that's lasted 40 years and been working on that show for 40 years, it's a testament to how well Lorne trusts the creative crafts people on the show and how people really love making the show.

It's crazy because they make those sets in less than 24 hours.

Exactly. And sometimes they're fixing it up five minutes before they go on air. Joe, one of the production designers, said we're making and fixing sets up to 11:30. Even later sometimes. Which is crazy because I think audiences might think, oh, by 11:30, they're all ready to go. But it's a high energy environment even when you're doing a live show, you can always make adjustments.

Did you have a chance to see a lot of the shows live in the audience?

Yeah, I even had a better perspective because I was with the crafts people watching the show and seeing that aspect and that perspective.

There are moments of quiet when the sketch is on because you can't do anything, right? It's live TV. Everyone has to be quiet. And right after a sketch ends, everyone's just bolting to the next room. The person in one sketch might be in the immediately next sketch, so they have to change hair and makeup. But I think they plan it as much as possible so you're not jumping from a Transformers costume to being the President.

How do you think SNL can stay relevant for the next 40 years?

A show like SNL that is weekly and that always has to reflect what's going on that week or that month or that time, it's constantly going to be relevant because it's always with the time. You look at the early episodes and you see it in the 1970s, 1975, and it really was this time capsule that was going on then, and now.

It’s just got to keep doing that every week. It never seems dated because it turns nostalgic right away for audience members. I think by just maintaining this live aspect too and making sure what they're talking about, what their staff are satirizing is current. If they keep that format, I don't know when they will ever end.

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Another Day, Another Balloon Message

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Up Your Scrabble Score

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Your Luck Is Bullcrap

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I Hope It’s the Latter

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Ant-Man’s Ant-Sized Billboards Are Amazing

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Marvel's continued their tiny viral marketing campaign for July's Ant-Man with some amazingly tiny billboards. While the trailers are down-playing the humor of the next Marvel franchise, the other marketing channels certainly aren't taking themselves too seriously.

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Advice of the Day: Surgeon General Tells Elmo Why He Needs a Vaccination

Really, Mom?

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He’s Getting a Direct Feed of that U2 Album, Save Him!

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‘Inside Amy Schumer’ Will Feature A Cosby Sketch, And 7 Other Things To Know About Season 3

Amy Schumer may have declared 2015 "the year of the ass," but we think it's more accurate to call this the year of Amy Schumer. The always inappropriate writer, actress, feminist and stand-up comic makes her feature film writing debut in this summer's "Trainwreck," hosted the MTV Movie Awards with a plethora of masturbation jokes and is set to return for Season 3 of "Inside Amy Schumer" on Tuesday.

After screening the premiere of the Comedy Central series' third season at the Tribeca Film Festival on Sunday, Schumer and her "Inside" writers, producers and director spoke on a panel about the show. They spilled exciting details about what's to come this season (yup, there's a Bill Cosby sketch) and the racy spoofs that didn't make the cut, and revealed that people actually thought Schumer was a real rapper in her amazing booty parody video. Here are the 8 best highlights from the panel:

1. Get ready for a Cosby parody sketch.
Schumer came up with the idea to have a support group of "girls who wouldn’t say what happened, but they were all wearing Cosby sweaters." The "Inside" writers first began working on the sketch when the Cosby sexual assault allegations started making headlines last year. Schumer said the sketch stirred some heated debates in the writers' room: "I think we probably talked about this scene more than any other scene we’ve done."

2. A "Dirty Dancing" abortion sketch didn't make the cut.
There had been an idea for a "Dirty Dancing" spoof to appear on "Inside," but it never happened. Schumer wouldn't reveal much about it, but it was more than enough to paint a picture: "There’s like a back alley abortion in 'Dirty Dancing' you forget about. What if there was an abortion clinic that was like 'Dirty Dancing'-themed?"

3. A TMZ baby coffin sketch didn't happen either.
Another idea that never happened was a TMZ spoof that would've showed a reporter following a celebrity with a baby coffin. "Then we we're like, 'Do we want to be on set with a baby coffin? No, no one wants to see that,'" Schumer said.

4. People thought Schumer was a real rapper.
Last week, Comedy Central released Schumer's "Milk Milk Lemonade" music video featuring Amber Rose and other celebs. The parody video opens the Season 3 premiere of "Inside," but Schumer noticed that some people commenting on a music website apparently didn't know that. "It’s on this website and people never heard of me and they all think I’m a rapper. They’re like, 'This girl sucks!'" Schumer also said she had never been as embarrassed in her life as she was while filming it.

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5. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tina Fey and Patricia Arquette celebrated being "unfuckable."
In one of the best sketches from the Season 3 premiere, JLD, Fey and Arquette appeared to celebrate Louis-Dreyfus' last "fuckable" day. Writer Jessi Klein said the sketch was inspired by the idea of "actresses aging out of Hollywood."

6. An entire episode of "Inside" is a remake of "12 Angry Men."
Schumer really wanted to remake Sidney Lumet's classic film "12 Angry Men" for an episode, so she did. The entire third episode of Season 3 is a "shot-for-shot" black and white recreation of the 1957 movie featuring an array of A-listers including John Hawkes, Paul Giamatti, Jeff Goldblum, Vincent Kartheiser and Dennis Quaid. Spoofing the film's murder-trial-verdict plot, the episode has the men deciding if Schumer is good-looking enough to be on TV. Schumer, who also co-directs the episode, said she's more proud of it than anything she's done before.

7. A random old guy Schumer met on a plane is on the show.
"I got drunk on a cross-country flight with this guy," Schumer said. "He was like 89 or 90 or something." The two ended up bonding and now he's appearing on the sit-down interview segment of "Inside" with his husband.

8. Schumer thought the feminism aspect of the show was subtle.
Speaking about the first season of the "Inside," Schumer said she and Klein thought they were being "slick" about bringing a feminist tone to the show. "It still felt like something we had to sneak in," Schumer said. "We thought we were kind of tip-toeing." But then Schumer mentioned how one critic wrote that the show is "the equivalent of putting shaved carrots into brownies." But Schumer loves that, saying "I guess everyone sees what we’re doing."

"Inside Amy Schumer" returns on Tuesday at 10:30 p.m. ET on Comedy Central.

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Boring Office GoPro Parody Makes Menial Tasks Totally Epic

Got a boring day job? Well, it turns out that's not a barrier to Internet fame.

YouTube user Braziliandanny strapped on a GoPro camera and made a short film documenting an average mundane day in the office. The video comically juxtaposes a montage of cranking out photocopies, mailing envelopes and drinking coffee with a bumping soundtrack by, appropriately enough, the band OVERWERK.

Watch the video above.

It's presented in the style of a commercial, although the creator's company doesn't appear to have been involved. But contrary to the typical action-packed GoPro montage, the film documents a solitary, menial and chock-full-of-manila-envelopes day at a boring office job.

The filmmaker explained on Reddit that he was able to shoot the film at his real estate firm's office because "a lot of people are out with clients," noting that he waited until everyone was out to shoot certain scenes. But what may have started out as a matter of necessity ended up making a subtle -- although perhaps unintentional -- point about the modern workplace.

There's an existential, absurd tone to the video, which features no dialogue and no people other than the filmmaker. While the rest of us may not necessarily walk the empty hallways of a deserted office, there's something to be said about the isolating effects of office life: The conventions we honor in order to get along with our co-workers may deny our individuality; the technology we use to accomplish our tasks can isolate us from others in the office, even as it brings us closer in the digital space.

While "Boring Office Job" might not be as exciting as an epic snowboarding montage, watching it is definitely more fun than actually sealing and stamping envelopes.

Now, get back to work.

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Forrest Gump Isn’t Fair

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The Battle Between Puppies And Door Stoppers Rages On

Nothing can stop these guys from being adorable.

Puppies and door stoppers have long been arch nemeses and, as the battle continues, it's all about strategy.

While some of these baby canines choose the intimidating bark approach, others opt for an all-out pouncing assault. CrazyFunnyStuffCFS is back at it with another animal compilation that might drive you to film your pet 24/7.

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Mortal Kombat’s Fatalities Are Getting Out of Control

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But based on my first marriage, I'd prefer to face a fatality, probably cheaper than this DLC will cost too.

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Ryan Gosling Responds to the Haters (VIDEO)

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This week Ryan Gosling dyed his hair brown, and the Internet was obsessed with talking about it. Articles online claimed he "risked his heartthrob status" with the color change. Because I do a mediocre-to-poor impression of Ryan Gosling, I thought now's as good a time as any to break it out.

WATCH:

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Larry Wilmore Mocks Ben Affleck’s Ancestral Cover Up: ‘His Ancestors May Have Owned Mine’

The host of "The Nightly Show" skewered actor Ben Affleck on Monday for turning "positively Nixonian" after finding out that he had a slave-owning ancestor on a 2014 episode of the PBS series "Finding Your Roots."

"It turns out his roots were a little too close to 'Roots' roots," Wilmore joked, before chastising Affleck for allegedly trying to censor the information, according to emails leaked during the great Sony hacking scandal of 2014.

Wilmore pointed out that other celebrities, like CNN's Anderson Cooper, have stumbled upon a similar revelation and acknowledged it accordingly. To further drive his point home, Wilmore summoned a vision of Affleck's great-great-great-great grandfather to the desk to find out who should really be embarrassed in the family.

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James Corden Walks the Runway as the New Face of Burberry

by Megh Wright

Not long after getting a free lesson from Naomi Campbell on how to properly walk a runway, James Corden landed a very special job as the new face of Burberry. Even though he didn't get any pastries before walking the runway, Corden did a pretty good job strutting his stuff at Burberry's recent star-studded LA fashion show.

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That’s Just Plain Mean

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Old Trampoline Cleverness

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Winter Randomness Picdump 12

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When This Girl Broke Up With Her Boyfriend, He Made Her Super Angry By Making A Music Video About It

This is What Bad Luck Looks Like

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Not Exactly How it Works

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These Kids Really Want Their Teacher to Get Married

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Learn About Deer

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They Really Let This Place Go

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One Of The Many Face Of Boredom

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It’s Totally Effective

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Amy Schumer Reveals ‘Inside Amy Schumer’s Season 4 Renewal on ‘Late Show’

by Megh Wright

Here's a clip from Amy Schumer's visit to last night's Late Show, where she reveals that her Comedy Central series has landed a fourth season renewal from the network ahead of its season 3 premiere tonight at 10:30pm. Watch another clip from Schumer's last visit with Dave below, in which she follows through on his simple request: "Since we probably won't be on the show together again, do something now that you'll regret."

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Let Me Park It Right Here

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 21, 2015

ARIES: They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but as far as you're concerned, crap like that is for people who can get out of bed.

Opinion: I Know Heaven Is Real Because I Saw It And Abducted An Angel (by Terry Waldrip)

By Terry Waldrip

No Wonder She Kept Asking What Was Going On

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There’s Always A Good Side To Bad Things

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Jon Stewart’s Final ‘Daily Show’ Episode Is Thursday, August 6th

by Megh Wright

Jon Stewart announced some very important news during last night's Daily Show: His final episode before new host Trevor Noah takes over is Thursday, August 6th. Check out the full announcement above, then head over to The Daily Show's Omaze page to find out how you can enter a chance to win two tickets to Stewart's farewell episode.

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Political Campaigns In A Nutshell

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Daenerys’ Body Double is on Instagram. Come and See!

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Rosie Mac is an 18-year-old Englishwoman who also happens to literally stand in for Emilia Clarke's Daenerys Targaryen when duty calls.

Metro reports that the model hails from Newquay in Cornwall but moved to Marbella, Spain, when she was 10.

Though she's only been on the show for the last two episodes, her star is certainly rising.

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HAMLET & OPHELIA

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HAMLET & OPHELIA a better love story than Twilight

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Words to Live By

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Gotta Mainline Those Candies to Keep the Shakes Off!

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Los Santos is an Awfully Dysfunctional City

More Life Hacks Debunked

Well, That Escalated Quickly

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Roseanne Barr Reveals She Is Slowly Going Blind

Roseanne Barr revealed she is losing her vision in a candid interview with the Daily Beast.

She made the revelation while discussing her love of marijuana. The 62-year-old comedian said she has macular degeneration and glaucoma, and is dealing with pressure in her eyes. Weed, she said, is " a good medicine."

Barr admitted doctors cannot give her a time frame for when she will ultimately go blind.

“No, they can’t. My vision is closing in now,” Barr told the Daily Beast. “It’s something weird. But there are other weird things. That one’s harsh, ’cause I read a lot, and then I thought, ‘Well, I guess I could hire somebody to read for me and read to me.’ But I like words and I like looking. You do what you have to do. I just try and enjoy vision as much as possible -- y’know, living it up. My dad had it, too.”

She tweeted about her symptoms Monday, clarifying that she is not blind yet.

i said that someday i would lose my eyesight-that it's narrowed some-my peripheral vision-I'm not blind now nor will i b in th near future.

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) April 21, 2015


i got a cyber lens in my left eye-the worst pain comes from flash bulbs-an instant migraine-so its hard to work w bright lights-painful-

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) April 21, 2015


Macular degeneration leads to haziness of the vision and can result in a blind spot in the center of the vision field, according to Mayo Clinic. Glaucoma is a group of eye conditions that cause nerve damage and can lead to vision loss.

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Decided To Cut The Beard Today

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HuffPost Wants To Celebrate Its Birthday With Fellow 10-Year-Olds!

The Huffington Post was born on May 9, 2005 as an adorable little website with just a handful of bloggers.

Our childhood was filled with milestones and regular kid memories -- we napped, we learned, we played, we broke news and won fabulous prizes (like a Pulitzer!) We're about to turn double digits, and want to celebrate with other kids who will be 10 on the same day as us.

If you know of anyone born on May 9, 2005, email Turning10@huffingtonpost.com, and we might feature them in an upcoming story on The Huffington Post.

turning ten

Can't wait to party!

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This Is Strangely Pleasing

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Strange Couples

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Those Are Quite the Things to Apologize For

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Sorry I'm alive!

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Astronomers Get Asked Some Tough Questions

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HIGHWAY TO HELL

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HIGHWAY TO HELL

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Facebook Knows You’re Becoming a Spinster

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Yep, That’s What We Were Thinking too

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A Nation Of Immigrants

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Lost

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No Need To Go Outside, Ever Again

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Amanda Seyfried Passes Out On Set

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Adults Try Snapchat For The First Time

Damn Right

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Dr. Prankenstein

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How to Make Kids Hate a New Piece of Slang in Seconds

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Why So Mean, Siri?

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7 Shows That Have Too Many People Of Color

It Finally Has a Use

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Follow Your Heart and Marry the Ferris Wheel of Your Dreams. Wait, WHAT?

(607): I’m the catering…

(607): I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for.

Someone Pull That Out Please

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(387): It’s astonishing how…

(387): It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know.

(478): Just convinced a…

(478): Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420.

Indeed They Were

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(416): So hungover and decided to…

(416): So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.

Jon Stewart Calls Out ‘Total Narc’ Chris Christie For Hypocrisy On Marijuana

Jon Stewart celebrated 4/20, the unofficial marijuana holiday, on Monday night's "Daily Show" with his special "Uncle Jonny's Super Kush Totally Chillaxed Sticky-Icky Informative Marijuana News Report."

The segment got off to a promising start with an over-the-top promo from CNN for a weed special that Stewart said sounded "cool as fuck," but in reality turned out to be a serious report about medical marijuana and tax revenue from legal weed sales.

"Well you fucked me, CNN," Stewart said. "I'm ready for Weedstock, the whole thing, and you're giving me this. This is an actual news report."

However, nothing harshed his mellow quite like New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R), the "one guy who's got to be a total narc."

Christie claims that if elected president, he would crack down on states that have legalized marijuana. He said the drug is addictive, banned under federal law and that states "should not be able to sell it or profit from it."

But as Stewart points out, Christie legalized Internet gambling in New Jersey -- something that's addictive and frowned upon by federal law.

"Well there is a difference, though, to be fair," Stewart said. "If you smoke too much pot, no one comes to break your fucking knees."

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(630): YOU CAN’T JUST ADD…

(630): YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF.

Probably The Best Lamborghini Ad

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How Do I String Theory?

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BTW, Did You Know You’re Hot?

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(803): It’s 4/20 and I spent…

(803): It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?

Here You Go Man

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(518): Would it be weird if I…

(518): Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?

Missouri’s Racist Tourism Commercial

Missouri's Racist Tourism Commercial

0:33 The tourism board of Missouri highlights the fun activities in their beautiful, racist state. Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Missouri Police Police Brutality Michael Brown Mike Brown Parma Missouri Black Female Black Female Mayor Hot Air Balloons missouri tourism Views: 8,981

(630): You could totally spank…

(630): You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.

Sometimes It’s Just Too Much

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(918): I guess I’m an…

(918): I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.

(905): I maxed out my credit card…

(905): I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky.

Skyrim Mods Can Get a Little Ridiculous

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*Pffft

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The Story Of A Rescued Bird

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The God Of Mischief

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Steve Agee, Ron Funches, T.J. Miller – High Mall – @midnight with Chris Hardwick

Steve Agee, Ron Funches, T.J. Miller - High Mall - @midnight with Chris Hardwick

Steve Agee, Ron Funches, T.J. Miller ... 2:56 Steve Agee, Ron Funches and T.J. Miller guess which unusual stoner gift ideas are real. Watch full episodes of @midnight now: http://on.cc.com/17MOT5T Submitted by: atmidnight Regular Keywords: Chris Hardwick @midnight at midnight After Midnight Nerdist @midnight full episodes Steve Agee Ron Funches T.J. Miller gifts & presents drugs marijuana Etsy Pokemon sleep books sex Doug Benson High Mall 420 pot weed stoner comedy central stand up comedy comedians comedy central comedians comedy funny comedian funny video comedy videos stand up videos funny jokes funny clips hilarious videos hilarious clips Views: 100

Let’s Say It’s Up To You

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Muthr of Dargns

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Well That Eggscalated Quickly

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It’s Kinda True

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (4/21)

By Ted E.

5 Tricks Hollywood Uses To Make Good Trailers And Bad Movies

By J.F. Sargent

4 Universally Hated Things (That Are Somehow Still Popular)

By C. Coville

5 Baffling Dick Moves That Won Actual Lawsuits

By C.K.Bond

4 Crappy Side Effects Of Streaming TV Nobody Saw Coming

By David Christopher Bell

New B.C. for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015Ads by Yahoo!

New Heathcliff for 04/21/2015

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New The Other Coast for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015Ads by Yahoo!

New Momma for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015Ads by Yahoo!

New Andy Capp for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015Ads by Yahoo!

New Agnes for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015Ads by Yahoo!

New Herb and Jamaal for 04/21/2015

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New Wizard of Id for 04/21/2015

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New The Meaning of Lila for 04/21/2015

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New Dogs of C-Kennel for 04/21/2015

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Updated: Tue Apr 21, 2015

Gay Of Thrones S5 EP ​2​ Recap: White House|Black Market

Gay Of Thrones S5 EP ​2​ Recap: White House|

Gay Of Thrones S5 EP ​2​ Recap: White... 3:35 Jonathan loves three things - Blatinos, dry shampoo, and Game of Thrones. Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Gay Of Thrones S5 EP ​2 Recap game of thrones s5 ep1 game of thrones season five episode one gay of thrones game of thrones recap game of thrones s5 ep1 recap tim simons Views: 9,364

Puberty Done Very Right

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Cats Are Thugs

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Jon Stewart Announces Date Of His Final ‘Daily Show’ Episode

Mark your calendars, ask Siri to set a reminder and be sure to program your DVR because Jon Stewart has just announced the date of his final episode as host of "The Daily Show."

It's Aug. 6.

If you're reading this on April 21, that means there are only 107 days left until Stewart says his goodbyes.

South African comic and current "Daily Show" correspondent Trevor Noah will take over as the show's host, although the date of his first episode in the anchor chair has yet to be announced.

Tickets to Stewart's final "Daily Show" taping are being raffled off on Omaze, benefiting New York Collaborates for Autism and "Night of Too Many Stars."

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

And That’s How He Got Them

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Harry Potter’s Awkward Promo Shots

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Dude, She’s Not The One

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The Real Philosophy Of Life

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Scientifically Accurate ‘My Little Pony’ Is Everypony’s Nightmare

Everypony knows about the magical powers possessed by the four-legged residents of Equestria in "My Little Pony." But what if those magical little ponies weren't so magical?

Animation Domination High-Def has the answer with a video titled "Scientifically Accurate My Little Pony," and it covers everything from pony poop to pony penis.

Check it out in the clip above, and prepare to have your childhood shattered.

The clip is part of ADHD's ongoing "Scientifically Accurate" series which includes a terrifying take on "Pinky And The Brain" and a totally bizarre version of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

(h/t Kotaku)

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Come On, Other Suns

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The H. H. Holmes Castle

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They Will Always Hate

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Cool Tip If You’re Going To The Beach

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Stop Hitting Yourself

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Color Blind People’s Problems

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Nice Advice, I Will Try It Tonight

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It Took Some Time

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If You Have The Power

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They’re Note related

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Actually, He Really Is

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