28 Amusing Memes That’ll Make Your Day Significantly Better

twitter history tumblr random memes funny memes facebook pointless memes social media funny tweets classical art memes - 7355653

Browsing through memes is always a fool-proof way to destroy boredom!

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15 Deliciously Dank Memes With The Edge You Crave

Funny dank memes.

Another heaping serving of spice to keep your day interesting!

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19 Goofy Comics That’ll Make Your Responsibilities Disappear

Funny comics.

These ain't your parents' comics! 

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Those Mullets Were Fire

Caption that reads, "People who say Millennials look stupid also went around thinking this was cool. Just remember that" above pics of people from the '80s with ridiculous haircuts and clothes

The best decade for fashion.

Submitted by: (via sadavocado)

15 Elon Musk Memes That’ll Restore Your Receding Hairline

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Our boy Elon Musk might be the most cringey billionaire on the scene right now, and we can't help but love the resulting meme content. 

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24 Relatable Tweets That Speak The Truth

Funny tweets, relatable tweets, sleep, work.

Ever wanna feel a little less alone? Just hop on Twitter and prepare to feel personally attacked.

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Yeah Could You Just Smile Like A Normal Human

Caption that reads, "How my kid smiles for a $200 package of school pictures" above a pic of Andy Bernard from The Office smiling like an idiot

Please, just this once.

Submitted by: (via sadavocado)

Thirsty Dude Flirts In A Help Chat And Gets A Hilarious Surprise In The End

help chat wtf text story text conversation flirting bot gems gemsby text storytime rejection help rejected thirsty story plot twist - 7348741

If you're lookin' for a date, a random help chat is probably NOT the place to go.

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‘SNL’ Auditions Oscar Hosts To Replace Comedian Kevin Hart

"Who will risk everything for the chance to gain nothing?"

14 Hysterical Flyers That’ll Make You Chuckle And Then Immediately Say ‘WTF’

wtf sarcastic funny flyer funny pics cars satire weird pics sarcasm funny signs weird flyer - 7349509

We would like to find whoever is going around making and posting these signs and give them a big high-five. They never disappoint.

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Damn Straight

Funny reddit post

But we always knew Luigi to be a Queen.

Submitted by: (via reddit)

(207): You know shits really hit…

(207): You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
(1-207): what? where are you?

31 Memes & Tweets That’ll Remind You Life Can Be Okay

Funny memes and tweets.

These memes won't fill your heart with joy, but they might make you feel a little bit better.

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(207): He bent me in ways I…

(207): He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.

(860): He looked so uninterested…

(860): He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.

(978): So the same great-aunt…

(978): So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
(330): I need to meet your family.

Form Fitting Dresses 46

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Relatable

Funny meme about ignoring your responsibilities in favor of bed.

Responsibilities are so boring.

Submitted by: (via dankmemesgang)

Hi, I’m a heathen.

Last week my parents came to visit and I took them to a ranch that is filled with miles of Christmas lights and it was awesome except that a large part of it was electrified Bible stuff so my religious … Continue reading

(956): I’ll tell you all about…

(956): I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now.

(305): We can have bacon on the…

(305): We can have bacon on the roof while tanning.

What Happens When Santa’s Helpers Accidentally Kill Someone

Things Have Gone South At The North Pole

As children we all learn about the magic of the North Pole as the base of operations for the one and only Santa Claus. But often the stories of magic overshadow the harsh realities of life as a worker in Santa’s toy empire.

The webseries ‘Toymakers’ by Queen’s Gambit Films tackles the story of Timmy, a toymaker who becomes embroiled in controversy after one of his child’s toys has some unexpected side effects. Together with his friends and fellow toymakers Portia & Shawn, Timmy must deal with the fallout, whilst being attacked by a hostile fake news media that seems to have it’s own agenda. After 6 episodes, we are left wondering if there will ever truly be a happy ending for Timmy the toymaker (maybe in season 2).

Check out Episodes 2 - 6 below.


Chapter Two “Timmy’s Only Option”

Timmy and his friends discuss his options after the Christmas morning incident...


Chapter Three “Timmy’s Last Supper”

Timmy decides to go out with a bang...


Chapter Four “Turning on Timmy”

Portia and Shawn start to question whether they can trust Timmy...


Chapter Five “Un-making a Murderer”

Timmy takes matters into his own hands...


Chapter Six “Buzzed Bunny”

The Toymakers celebrate Easter morning in Workshop 48...


CREDITS:

Queen’s Gambit Films presents
TOYMAKERS

Written By: Ryan Powers
Directed By: Anne Renton
Produced By: Natalie Britton & Kate Hamilton

Starring:
Ryan Powers as Timmy
Chelsea Frei as Portia
Phillip Jordan as Shawn
Lauren Bair as Jeanette King

Executive Produced By: Ryan Powers & Jason B. Stamey
Director of Photography: Matthew Lynn
Production Design: Robin Conly
Edited, Graphics, & VFX by: Amy Blaisdell
Composer: Rob Gokee


Check out more from the Funny Or Die community here and if you have something you think is worth featuring, make sure to submit it for review by the Funny Or Die team here.

(903): The cards I get dealt on…

(903): The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.

(502): Have u seen my vagina and…

(502): Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.

Too Real

Funny meme, pie chart meme about going to sleep at a reasonable hour

What is bed?

Submitted by: (via dankmemesreasonforliving)

(949): you scattered cereal all…

(949): you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
(949): and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.

(407): I gave him breakup sex,…

(407): I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN.

(209): Ahhh, the bane of our…

(209): Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis.

You Make Father Proud

disapproving asian dad homework makes a father proud - 6216879616

Submitted by: Unknown

The Most Honest Valentine

sometimes you just need to let people know you're a little gross.

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Go Electro or Go Home

electro ex Music We Are Dating youtube - 5350160128

Submitted by: Laura (via www.youtube.com)

Viral Video of the Day: Twin Babies Confuse Toddler

Landon just can't seem to wrap his little head around this one.
Sitting between two identical twin babies, this kid is all like… WTF? How is that possible?
Imagine what it's going to be like when he sees "The Shining" for the first time.
The Shining

Submitted by: (via Rumble Viral)

Tagged: baby , parenting , Video , twins

“Mom, What Was Funny About That Part?”

fry meme parenting Memes TV - 8393880832

Submitted by: (via Dump a Day)

Tagged: fry meme , parenting , Memes , TV

(919): I just described cereal to…

(919): I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
(253): who is this.

Pete Davidson Appears Briefly On ‘SNL’ After Troubling Instagram Post

Fans were worried by alarming message.

5 Terrible Excuses For Homophobia (That People Keep Using)

By Ian Fortey  Published: December 16th, 2018 

B.C. for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

B.C. for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Heathcliff for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Heathcliff for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Agnes for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Agnes for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Momma for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Momma for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

The Other Coast for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

The Other Coast for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Andy Capp for Dec 16, 2018 for 12/16/2018

Andy Capp for Dec 16, 2018

Updated: Sun Dec 16, 2018

Host Matt Damon Honors ‘SNL’ And Late Father With Emotional Tribute On Holiday Show

His dad "knew that there was nothing more important in the world than to laugh with the people you love.”

‘SNL’ Imagines World Without President Trump In ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Spoof

"It's awful, everything's falling apart," Alec Baldwin's Trump confides to his angel, Clarence.

29 Miscellaneous Memes That’ll Rev Up Your Bored Mind

stock photo twitter procrastination random memes funny memes boredom jonas brothers pointless memes miscellaneous funny tweets the simpsons surprised pikachu - 7353605

Inject some of that comedy you crave into your mind!

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30 Delightfully Nerdy Dungeons And Dragons Memes

Funny dungeons and dragons memes.

This one is for all you DnD freaks - if you can tear yourself away from seducing anything and everything!

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17 Millennial Memes That’ll Inspire You To Kill Every Industry

millennial memes industries are killing gen y millennials generation y funny memes young people funny headlines funny tweets funny twitter cards against humanity - 7108613

As everyone knows, Millennials are verifiably the worst generation in the history of humanity, and these memes prove it.

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Thanks, McDonalds!

Funny meme about McDonald's making straws out of ivory.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

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33 Lawyerly Memes That Are Guilty Of Hilarity

Funny lawyer memes and tweets.

It's pretty damn easy to make fun of lawyers, but we think they'd like these memes too!

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25 Clever Insults That’ll End Your Enemies

Funny insults.

It's always good to have a few knockout insults in your arsenal. These gems from @insultmedaddy will serve you well.

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Tough Times

Funny meme about black death

This is the future anti-vaxxers want.

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Insufferable Lady Gets Promptly Denied After Demanding Free Sh*t

text story text conversation text storytime story texting denied justice insufferable entitled schadenfreude teacher - 7335429

Don't you just love when that sweet schadenfreude gets rightfully handed to the entitled? We certainly do.

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15 Sassy Single Memes For Those Who Are Hilariously Spiteful

single single ladies funny memes Ariana Grande relationships snarky sassy dating apps single people dating twitter tumblr funny tweets funny tumblr - 7337989

Are you tired of being single AF? Well, these memes won't help you gain a significant other (sorry about that), but they will help you feel a little less alone.

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Well Then

Clip in a newspaper that reads, "Dear Santa, why do all my toys say 'made in China'? I guess even you can't abstain from the allure of cheap labor. Oink oink you capitalist pig - Josh"

It's gettin' real over here.

Submitted by: (via Frosty152)

(229): ….I just did my…

(229): ....I just did my boss
(1-229): I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.

What’s Really Behind The Red Door From The Haunting of Hill House?

Some mysteries should never be answered.

Netflix’s newest horror series “The Haunting of Hill House” has left viewers with many questions, the greatest of which is, what is actually going on behind the Red Door at Hill House?

In the series the Crain family take possession of the Hill House Estate and discover an unexplored room hidden behind a locked red door. Many strange occurrences happen to the family throughout the series, but the truth about what’s actually behind that door is more terrifying than anyone could ever imagine.


If you enjoyed our mashup of ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ and ‘Dumb and Dumber’, you can relive the horror of the actual series on Netflix. Dumb and Dumber is also available to stream on Amazon Video.

Plus if you still need to scratch that mashup itch, why not check out our take on a grittier and more adult version of the ‘Detective Pikachu’ Pokemon movie starring Matthew McConaughey from the first season of ‘True Detective’.

MASHUP CREDITS:

Writer/Editor: Charles Muzard
Writer/Editor: Ryan Coopersmith
Executive Producer: Chris Michael

28 Funny Memes That Are Sure To Get You LOLing

funny random memes to make you laugh

These memes are perfect for those bored out of their minds!

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(610): he sent me a picture of him…

(610): he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now.

(678): If it makes you feel any…

(678): If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.

A Lovely Shade Of Lipstick 18

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Fooled Ya, Teach

Caption that reads, "When a teacher says you can't use Wikipedia as a reference so you use the references from Wikipedia as the source" above a still of Dave Chappelle saying, "Modern problems require modern solutions"

Ha, they NEVER knew!

Submitted by: (via capttaain)

(+61): I might be a bit late,…

(+61): I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated.

(517): I dont understand why i…

(517): I dont understand why i cant be a wizard.

(201): I finally realized he drank…

(201): I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.

(415): I want you inside me….

(415): I want you inside me. Finish your papers.

Very Surprising Indeed

Caption that reads, "When you meet the chef who made that bomb-ass ratatouille" above a still of Donald Trump giving a speech saying, "Didn't expect that rat, but that's okay"

That rat makes a mean ratatouille.

Submitted by: (via rsrfy)

Bryan Cranston And John Oliver Star In Dark New Holiday Movie Written By Kids

There's double dealing and ax-wielding elves in this film straight from the imaginations of children.

Chinese-American Comedian Joe Wong Makes Blunt Prediction About Donald Trump’s Wall

"I’m from China. So I know a lot about walls."

(+27): I am real keen for none of…

(+27): I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now.

(831): You think I could convince…

(831): You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?

(724): Okay she just told me to…

(724): Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?

(303): hey, i didnt think i could…

(303): hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it.

Mother of the Year

kids text moms parenting facebook - 7199764736

Submitted by: Jenn

Tagged: kids , text , moms , parenting , facebook

There’s a Monster Under My Bed!

gifs cat bed - 7013344768

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: gifs , cat , bed

(219): the cop found his r2d2 bong…

(219): the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
(219): easily made my night.

5 Commercials That Hate You, The Customer

By Mike Bedard,Jordan Breeding,Peter I. Santiago  Published: December 15th, 2018 

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Agnes for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Agnes for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Andy Capp for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Andy Capp for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Heathcliff for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

Heathcliff for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

The Other Coast for Dec 15, 2018 for 12/15/2018

The Other Coast for Dec 15, 2018

Updated: Sat Dec 15, 2018

Stephen Colbert: How Trump Stole The White House Christmas Party

The president has canceled a decades-long tradition of celebrating the holidays with the White House press corps.

Me IRL

Caption that reads, "Teacher: has everyone got a partner? Me: oof'' above a pic of a single fish staring down a group of fish in a fish tank

This still happens into adulthood.

Submitted by: (via Suprememe21)

Wow!

Caption that reads, "Take that NASA" above a fake text screenshot where the text recipient is 'Aliens' and the texts read, "Yoo, y'all real?" "Yeah bruh"

The government ain't gonna keep us in the dark anymore.

Submitted by: (via TheGoldenLychee)

29 Pointless Memes & Pics To Help You Wile Away The Hours

Funny random memes

Bored? Try memes! The only side-effects we know of are depression and possibly laughter.

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‘Now, The Problem With The Asymptotic Theory Is…’

Political meme where Donald Trump, who represents 'teacher' is lecturing Nancy Pelosi, who represents 'one kid actually trying to learn;' Mike Pence is sitting in a chair sleeping, representing 'everyone else in the class'

Look at that nerd in the front!

Submitted by: (via Flqmingg)

Olivia Munn Gifdump

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16 Sassy ‘Kermit The Frog’ Memes We Definitely Didn’t Find On ‘The Muppets’

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Everyone's favorite sassy green frog is back in meme-form!

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30 Tasty Tumblr Posts That Are The Good Kind Of Weird

Funny tumblr posts.

Let's hear it for the wonderfully weird and (mostly) hilarious world of Tumblr!

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Things My Coworker Says As Motivational Posters

They’re really gonna make you think

You know how people will take a profound quote from Stephen Hawking and lay it over top of a photo of the night sky? Or a Chinese proverb like ‘the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’ in front of a picture of a winding forest path?

This is... kind of like that.

Except instead of pulling inspirational quotes from scholars or philosophers or Oprah, over the last few weeks I’ve been compiling a list of things my coworker and desk-mate, Tamara Yajia, says throughout a regular work day. And then with absolutely zero context, I turned them into a collection of some truly, truly thought provoking motivational-style posters.

Enjoy, ponder, maybe even print one out and put it above the water cooler.

















Company Testing A Fried Chicken Nugget Vending Machine

fried-chicken-nugget-vending-machine-1.jpg This is a short video of the fried chicken nugget vending machine currently being tested by Japanese convenience store chain Lawson Inc. at one of its Shinagawa Ward, Tokyo locations. The machine can allegedly fry and serve piping hot chicken nuggets in just over a minute. I wonder how often they change the frier oil. The less often, the better -- that's my motto. Of course I also refuse to boil my hotdogs in anything but the same covered pot of water I've had sitting on the back of the stove for four months. My girlfriend thinks it's disgusting, but-- "I've seen him make tea with it." *shrug* I was drunk and feeling extra culinary. Keep going for a shot of the finished product and a video.

Cute girls Gifdump 2

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Nice Work, People

Funny meme about youtube rewind

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Submitted by: (via gameofloans)

Oh Wow: Fifteen Jump Ropers Perform The ‘Subway’ Trick

This is a short video of fifteen jump ropers combining all their skill to perform the 'subway' trick, in which one member sort of worms his way all the way down the line underneath everyone else as they all jump double Dutch on all fours. So, do you think the person who's the worm is the one who drew the shortest straw, or is do you think that's the most desirable position? Asking for a friend who will literally talk about anything. Keep going for the whole video, but you're not really missing much just watching the gif. And remember: you're never to old to jump rope (but hip replacement surgery does get more complicated the older you are).

17 Adorable Wholesome Memes That’ll Make Your Heart Sing A Happy Little Song

wholesome dogs twitter adorable post malone heartwarming cute shibe wholesome memes google sappy - 7346437

Feast your eyes on these sappy memes that'll make your life a little better!

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Freaky Deaky: Every Online 3D Model Of Mickey Mouse 3D Printed As A Single Unit

3d-printed-mickey-mouse-chimera.jpg This is a shot of the Mickey Mouse sculpture that Matthew Plummer Fernandez 3D printed using 'Every model of Mickey Mouse found online, compiled as one.' The finished product stands 51 x 24 x 49cm (~20 x 9.5 x 19-inches) and looks like a genetic experiment gone wrong. And not the good kind of wrong like 'Woops, we finally cloned a triceratops but it has penises instead of horns' either. Thanks again to hairless, who informed me he'd pay good money for a Donald Duck version. Hahaha, you're weird.

Oh, Hello Oscars!

George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon (charmed I’m sure) slated to host the Academy Awards

After Kevin Hart decided to bow out of hosting this year’s Academy Awards (which he didn’t have to do, he could have just apologized for the homophobic statements which caused the backlash but hey, what do I know), the position has yet to be filled and everyone’s got a suggestion as to who should replace him. Not just anyone could do it, though. Getting to host the Oscars is a job that only goes to the most esteemed and revered entertainers, only people in the top tier, the A-listers, the cream of the crop.

And who would be better for such a grand, monumental task than George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon (charmed I’m sure)

If you’re not familiar with these New York bachelors already, you clearly have no love for the arts. Gil Faizon (charmed I’m sure) has appeared all over television as a stand-in for a bowl of mashed potatoes, and George St. Geegland is a former short story professor at SUNY Yonkers and playwright. Together they wrote and starred in Oh, Hello on Broadway, as well as the hit prank show Too Much Tuna.

They have the fame, the stage experience, and the hints of racism that would make them the perfect fit for the Academy Awards. And apparently they already got an offer.

The Academy themselves have been pretty quiet about this, neither confirming nor denying the statement made by Geegland and Faizon. Although the pair has released promotional images on their own, there’s been some criticism from other entertainers in the business.

Despite the skepticism from celebrities and fans alike, George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon (charmed I’m sure) haven’t backed down in the slightest.

We can only assume that these claims are 100% true, but if for some crazy reason the Academy hasn’t actually asked them to host this year’s award ceremony, they absolutely should.


You can watch a recording of one Oh Hello on Broadway performance on Netflix, here

25 Cringeworthy Posts That’ll Light Your Dumpster Fire

cringe cringey cringeworthy Sad dumpster wtf Bronies my little pony neckbeards MLP social media text message text nice guys - 7336453

We've got your nice guys and neckbeards all right here!

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Trust Fall!: Portly Gentleman Crushes Buddy From Chair

trust-crush.jpg Seen here during the very lit after-hours portion of their holiday party, this is a short video of a portly gentleman trust-falling into the arms of his significantly smaller friend. Although it's really more of a trust-crush. Still, I feel like this went just about as well as they could have possibly hoped for, although based on the way he's holding himself afterwards, it appears the smaller man may have broken his penis. That's why I tape mine to my calf! "Calf?!" *wink* Keep going for the video. Also, I like how in that first screencap he looks like Uncle Fester lighting a lightbulb in his mouth.

‘But First, Coffee’

Caption that reads, "Back of laptop: *exists;* College girls with stickers: ..." above a pic of someone slapping a sponge against a pane of glass

Live, laugh, love omg lol

Submitted by: (via SwAg_LaMp)

A Closeup Of The Sun Taken By The Closest Probe We’ve Sent

sun-closeup.jpg This is a 'closeup' of the sun taken by the Parker Solar Probe, the closest object we've ever sent to the sun (at least until I blast off). I say 'closeup', but the image was still taken at a distance of 16.9-million miles as the probe enters the sun's corona, although that's significantly closer than earth, which is around 93-million miles away. So it's 5.5 times closer. Some more info while I daydream about being aboard the Parker Solar Probe and watching the flesh melt from my bones. "Um, what?" Please, just let me have this:
The image above was taken by the probe's WISPR (Wide-field Imager for Solar Probe) instrument on November 8th and it shows what's known as a coronal streamer. These streamers are made up of solar material within the corona and the tend to occur over regions of increased solar activity. This streamer appeared over the east limb of the sun and includes at least two visible rays. You can also see Jupiter in the background -- the bright spot towards the center.
Fascinating. "Did you even read that?" No, I was busy making myself a snack. "Whatha having?" Cheese and crackers! FUN FACT: I can eat a whole can of spray cheese in one spray without ever slowing down. "I wouldn't call that a fun fact." I wouldn't actually call it a fact either, because I've never finished before puking. "Jesus -- what's wrong with you, GW?" My doctor said everything. Thanks to Josh J, who agrees we should totally have another space race.

These Pics Of Mr. Bean Photoshopped Into Pop Culture Moments Are Hysterical Troll-ery

rowan atkinson wtf Harry Potter voldemort Indiana Jones trollery trolling mr bean photoshop troll twilight justin bieber the hulk mr bean Pirates of the Caribbean mr bean The Hobbit Avatar mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean mr bean - 7327749

It's really no secret that Mr. Bean, AKA Rowan Atkinson, has a ridiculous-looking face, making him the perfect target to be photoshopped in place of other completely random famous people!

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Cute As A Button 122

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Hogwarts House Uniform Wearable Snuggie-Like Throw Blankets

hogwarts-house-uniform-wearable-blankets.jpg These are the officially licensed Hogwarts house uniform Snuggie-like wearable throw blankets available from Fun.com. They come in one size, adult standard (48" x 71"), and cost a very reasonable $20. Oh man -- I'm going to buy one for my girlfriend, then record her opening it on Christmas. "To my favorite Hufflepuff -- WTF is this?! You know I'm a Ravenclaw!" Sorry honey *donning the Ravenclaw throw I bought myself* but I saw you take that quiz online. Thanks to Angela, who agrees the best witches and wizards are warm and comfortable witches and wizards.

14 More ‘Sonic’ Poster Parodies That Are Better Than The Original

Funny sonid the hedgehog movie poster parodies.

We covered the internet's deep hatred for the recently announced live-action Sonic film earlier this week, but it seems people are far from done parodying it. The shop jobs and mockeries of the beloved hedgehog are piling up. And we're here to bring them to you.

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Compilation Of Parents Turning The TV Off While Their Kids Are Playing Fortnite

This is a clip from Jimmy Kimmel Live! in which Jimmy challenged parents to turn the television off while their kids are in the middle of a game of Fortnite. Those first two kids' cracking voices will forever haunt my dreams. Highlights include cursing, a bunch of kids trying to slap the phone out of their parents' hands (those boys are presumably dead now), and a mom who tries to turn the TV off manually but can't find the button. But mostly it's just pure sadness. And these are the videos they were able to air on television -- I'm trembling at the thought of the ones they weren't and are now police evidence. Keep going for the video of our doomed youth.

True

Funny meme about how it's a scam that the zoo hcarges people to look at animals they stole.

Just one reason zoos are messed up, if we're being serious.

Submitted by: (via bestmemesperiod)

Cyclist Tells Driver To Put Down Phone, Driver Argues He Can Text And Drive Safely, Crashes

texting-motorist-crash-1.jpg This is some helmet-cam footage from Scottish cyclist David Brennan on the A739 Switchback Road between Bearsden and Glasgow when he gets into an argument with a motorist he spots texting and driving. He tells the guy to put down his phone, but the guy argues he can text and drive safely, before rear-ending the car in front of him shortly after. Obviously, while texting and driving has already been proven dangerous, I think it's high time we add arguing with cyclists and driving to that same list. I'll get to work on the PSAs. Keep going for the video while I really wish it showed the aftermath.

The ‘Golden Girls’ When Santa Held Them Hostage At Gunpoint

A Very Special Episode: Season 3 Episode 4

Remember the ‘Golden Girls’ when Santa held them hostage at gunpoint? It was a very special episode.

Need to relive the magic that was The Golden Girls? The show is currently available to watch on Hulu here.

CREDITS:
Actor/ Writer/ Editor: Dashiell Driscoll
VFX: Bryan Wieder
Post Supervisor: Kia Reghabi

30 Funny Memes & Pics That’ll End Your Ennui

Funny memes, introvert memes, donald trump, depression, anxiety.

Well, these pics may not completely end your ennui, but they'll help it. We hope. 

Submitted by:

Hehehehe

Caption that reads, "I'm pranking this guy as if I'm sending nudes but in reality...I'm literally typing 'attachment: 1 image'" above a screenshot of the girl continuously sending the guy these 'attachment' messages

*Evil laugh*

Submitted by: (via Frosty152)

You fail at life gifdump 4

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What The Frick Are You Looking At

Caption that reads, "That feeling when you go out for a quiet meal and some f*cker at the next table starts painting you" above a painting of three people eating at a table and looking over in a judgmental manner

"Take a picture, it'll last longer...oh..."

Submitted by: (via facelesshrs)

Stephen Colbert Issues Hilarious Slice Of Love Advice To Donald Trump

"The Late Show" host set Trump straight.

Seth Meyers Has A Theory About Mike Pence’s Silence

The "Late Night" host thinks he's figured out why Pence is going "full chameleon."

Well, They Ain’t Wrong

Tweet that reads, "Aliens probably ride past earth and lock their doors"

Earth is a scary place.

Submitted by: (via facelesshrs)

Overflow 427

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

Trevor Noah: Why Would Women Want To Talk About The Cheese Doodle?

Maybe they should have paid hush money to Trump, Noah said.

B.C. for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

B.C. for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

6 Times Fans Got Put In Charge Of Everything

By JM McNab  Published: December 14th, 2018 

How To Survive Holiday Parties In Just Three Steps

By CRACKED Readers  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Students Take Down Statue Of Famous Racist, Uh, Gandhi?

By Cedric Voets  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Who’s The Girl With The Spider-Robot In ‘Spider-Verse’?

By Adam Wears  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Why ‘Fight Club’ May Be A Smarter Film Than You Think

By Eamon Lahiri  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Momma for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Momma for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

The Other Coast for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

The Other Coast for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Andy Capp for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Andy Capp for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Agnes for Dec 14, 2018 for 12/14/2018

Agnes for Dec 14, 2018

Updated: Fri Dec 14, 2018

Blarrgghaghh

Caption that reads, "When you're drunk in the back of a cab and the driver asks you for directions" above a pic of a Furby with one eye open and the other half-closed

Sir, I don't even remember my own name right now.

Submitted by: (via jessedeee)

It’s A Struggle Every Night

Tumblr post that reads, "Sensible part of your brain: you made enough pasta that you could take it for lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container; Overwhelming majority of brain: shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now"

I can't help it, pasta is so delicious.

Submitted by: (via jessedeee)

27 Silly Memes And Tweets That’ll Make Your Brain Happy

twitter text conversation random memes silly memes funny memes funny tweets obama Cats witty relatable clever snoop dogg - 7338757

If your brain is sad, then try browsing through some memes to give you a bit of the comedic therapy you crave!

Submitted by:

Congrats!

Caption that reads, "In seventh grade a boy asked me to be his girlfriend and I wasn't sure I heard him correctly so I panicked and just said yes and then he high-fived me and we never spoke again. Jamal, if you're out there, happy 11-year anniversary"

We all have a "relationship" story like this from middle school.

Submitted by: (via Sevault)

Someone Left A Human Heart On An Airplane

How does this even happen

Arriving at your destination after being stuck in a stuffy, cramped airplane and realizing that you forgot some of your belongings when you disembarked is super annoying. Usually it’s stuff like a travel pillow or a notebook, because most of us double check to make sure we’ve got all the important things. Like your wallet, or your passport, or, I dunno,

A literal human heart

Over the weekend, a Southwest Airlines plane headed from Seattle to Dallas had to pull a u-ey in the middle of the flight because someone left a human heart on board. Man, don’t you just hate it when that happens? When you’re just having one of those days, you know, the kind where you can’t remember if you locked your front door, or if you remembered to grab the heart you’re traveling with before you exit the airplane. Ugh, we’ve all been there am I right!

 Courtesy of Southwest passenger Andrew Gottschalk

Haha, whoooopsies!!


The wildest part about this story though? Katherine Pliska, the spokeswoman for LifeCenter Northwest, which is the organization in charge of facilitating organ transfers in Seattle and the surrounding region, said to the Seattle Times that they weren’t responsible for the heart in transit and THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHO IT WAS FOR.

Fucking WHAT?


It was revealed a few hours later that Sierra Donor Services in Sacramento had hired a courier to bring the heart to Seattle for valve retrieval, which is why it was on a commercial flight.

BUT THE DUDE LEFT IT ON THE PLANE. LIKE A POSTMATES DRIVER WHO FORGOT ONE OF THE BAGS AT A MCDONALD’S.

Fortunately, the necessary tissue was still intact when it finally arrived in Seattle and it was smooth sailing from there, but that courier still shouldn’t get more than a 3-star rating. Go with Uber next time, guys.

Did Mobsters Ever Send People to “Sleep with the Fishes” Wearing Concrete Shoes

Dan P asks: Did mobsters ever really use cement galoshes on the feet of people they sent to sleep with the fishes like in the movies?

If there’s one thing everyone knows about the mob it’s that they had an astonishing number of ways to off the various wiseguys, shysters and snitches who got in the way of their business. The most famous of these methods is arguably to send them to sleep with the fishes wearing concrete shoes.  But has any mobster ever been known to actually do this?

Before we get into that, we would just like to briefly point out that “cement shoes” is sometimes used interchangeably with “concrete shoes” when discussing this particular facet of mafia murder. However, “cement shoes” is a misnomer since cement is an ingredient in concrete- the binder that holds everything together. Concrete, on the other hand, is a mixture of materials like sand, gravel, and small rocks combined with any type of cement and water.

Now with that bit of pedantry off our chest, let’s get into it.

To begin with, it’s important to explicitly note the logistics of killing a person in this way. The general method of making “concrete shoes” is to simply place the feet of a person you wish to make “disappear” into a bucket filled with wet concrete and wait many hours for it to set enough to throw the person in the water without their feet coming out of the concrete… For the mobster in a hurry, a quick setting concrete is obviously preferred, though this still takes its sweet time to dry sufficiently depending on exact variety. This is all something more than a little problematic for the proper secure setting of the concrete around the feet.

However, once the concrete hardens sufficiently, assuming it’s remained secure on their feet and their squirming hasn’t given them literal wiggle room, the person wearing the “shoes” will be thrown into a nearby body of water, the idea being that the weight of the concrete will prevent the body from ever rising to the surface.

To doubly make sure of this, in some stories the unfortunate victim is placed inside of a much larger container like a barrel, which is similarly filled with concrete. In these cases, the term concrete overcoat is often used.

As frightening as this all sounds, as you might have guessed from that description, particularly given the latter’s incredible weight and that there are much less elaborate and time consuming ways to kill someone just as effectively, there has never been a known case of someone actually being killed in this way.

That said, if we detach ourselves from the connection to the mafia- and just look at murders in general- there has been one known case of someone being made to wear concrete shoes and then tossed in the water, just this wasn’t how we was killed either. Further, there are numerous instances of others having been found tied to heavy objects, like concrete blocks, and then tossed into the sea.

In these instances, again, the people are universally thought to have been killed before this was done. For example, two men known to be killed and later disposed of in this manner include a hitman called Ernest Rupolo who was found with concrete blocks tied to his ankles in Jamaica Bay in 1964 and a racketeer called Johnnie Goodman, the body of whom was dragged from a river in 1941 wrapped in a heavy canvas sheet and weighed down with a massive block of concrete.

When talking literal concrete shoes, you certainly could wait around and let concrete dry, then laboriously transport a struggling and noise making already heavy adult person now made much heavier to a dock somewhere and pitch them into the water. But the logistics of it seemingly make it something nobody ever really did. Rather, the nefarious of the world tended to go with the easier route of just killing them, then quickly transporting them to the water and tying the heavy object on at the last minute before plopping them in the drink.

That said, this isn’t foolproof. For example- the aforementioned case of the one and only definitively known instance of someone made to sleep with the fishes wearing concrete shoes- one Peter Martinez. Peter was a gang member whose body washed ashore in 2016. As one Detective Robert Boyce noted, “This individual was wrapped in plastic bags and his arms were tied behind him and his feet were submerged in concrete.” At some point he was then tossed into the water.

It should be noted though that it wasn’t drowning that killed him according to one of the medical examiners in the case, Dr. Barbara Sampson, who noted, he died of “asphyxia caused by the covering of the mouth and nose by duct tape”.

While this doesn’t preclude this having been done to him immediately before being tossed into the water, it’s more likely he was killed in this way many hours before the actual dumping of the body. This hypothesis is supported by the fact Martinez seemingly didn’t struggle when the concrete was poured around his feet and left to harden, at least, based on the way it set.

So if there’s never been a definitively known case of someone being killed in this way and only one known very modern case of someone made to wear concrete shoes and then tossed in the water, where did the idea that mobsters frequently sent people to “sleep with the fishes” wearing concrete shoes come from?

As mentioned, it is known that people, including mobsters, occasionally do chuck bodies into the sea as a means of disposal. But as for the more elaborate literal “concrete shoes” thing, one of the first known instances of this being reported comes from a June 3, 1935 news article published by the Associated Press discussing the disappearance of a bootlegger called Danny Walsh.

According to the report, after disappearing under somewhat mysterious circumstances in 1933, a rumor had circulated in the criminal underworld that, to quote the news report, “[he] was stood in a tub of cement until it hardened about his feet, and then thrown alive into the sea…”

However, after extensive investigation neither the police, nor any of their many informants, could ever confirm the veracity of the tale, nor ever locate Mr. Walsh’s body. It was after this widely reported rumor about Walsh that the idea of mobsters giving people the cement shoe treatment became relatively common when discussing potential mob hits.

But in the end, despite this being a common trope for almost a century now, even something mobsters have threatened from time to time, there’s never been any known case of someone being killed in this way.  On top of this, there has never been a case of any police informant ever reporting such had definitively happened. Just as importantly, there is the impracticality of it, and the fact that even with weighing down a body significantly, they still sometimes wash up on shore. We see this, among other instances with bodies weighed down by concrete blocks and in the one known case of someone actually tossed in the water wearing two five gallon buckets filled with concrete.  All this combined has most authorities firmly putting the idea that mobsters used to give people the concrete shoe treatment as a myth, even if it is still possible there was an exception or two at some point that was never discovered.

Thus, while it is true that mobsters were occasionally known to send people to “sleep with the fishes”, seemingly for practicality’s sake they don’t seem to have ever actually bothered to kill people using the concrete shoe or overcoat method and then tossing them screaming into the water.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy our new popular podcast, The BrainFood Show (iTunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Feed), as well as:

Bonus Fact:

  • While it’s commonly said that the phrase “sleep with the fishes” traces its routes to The Godfather, the phrase is actually much older than that. In fact, a variant of the phrase can be found all the way back in The Iliad, where Achilles states, “Make your bed with the fishes now.” Another variant can be seen in Moby Dick, in which it states, “and to wind up with pisces, or the fishes, we sleep…” Concerning the exact phrase, this goes back at least to 1836 in Edmund Spencer’s Sketches of Germany and the Germans, where it states, “…the deluded peasants broke in pieces the pretty painted magic wand, and forcibly put to flight the magician himself, vowing, with imprecations, if he repeated his visit, they would send him to sleep with the fishes.” Yet another instance of the exact phrase can be found in an article in a July of 1905 edition of The Search-Light magazine, where it states, “After her at full speed hurried the torpedo boat ‘Smetilvy,’ manned by a crew of officers and faithful blue jackets, and pledged to send the rebels to sleep with the fishes.”
Expand for References

The post Did Mobsters Ever Send People to “Sleep with the Fishes” Wearing Concrete Shoes appeared first on Today I Found Out.

All The Best Memes & Responses To Tumblr’s Adult Content Ban

Funny memes about tumblr banning of adult content.

December 3rd, 2018: A day that will forever be mocked (and mourned) by the entire Tumblr community. This is the day that the staff of Tumblr announced they would be banning "adult content" from their site for good. Artwork and drawings depicting nudity could remain, but anything depicting sexual acts, nudity, or female-presenting nipples will be banned, permanently. 

The news was a surprise to Tumblr's users, especially following an announcement in September, in which the staff claimed they wouldn't use automated filters to regulate their content - that it would interfere with creative expression. While it's no secret that Tumblr is overflowing with porn, and most of it is far from creative, this hypocrisy has rubbed users the wrong way. And how do people express discontent? With memes, of course.

Use the next few days, wisely, folks.

Submitted by:

35 Clever And Comedic Tweets That Will Just Speak To Your Soul

twitter witty clever comedy funny tweets dogs mental health the voice relationships dating - 7329541

We gathered up these wonderfully witty tweets just for you. You're welcome.

Submitted by:

The US Map Of The Most Googled ‘Should I _____?’ For Each State

us-map-of-googling-should-i.jpg Because why search your heart when you can search the internet, this is a US Map highlighting the most commonly Googled ending of the phrase 'Should I _____?' for each state. Of course if you find yourself just Googling an important life decision looking for answers I can't help but feel like you already know the answer, you just aren't admitting it to yourself. Also, to all the should I votes, yes, to all the yellows, yes, Pennsylvania absolutely not and Hawaii WTF are you thinking? Thanks to Carmen, who agrees Google is what Magic 8-Balls used to be for.

An Important Distinction

Caption that reads, "The plot thickens for seemingly no reason" above pics of a Pringles can that reads, "Bursting with more flavor* *than before"

As opposed to what...?

Submitted by: (via Sevault)

Employee Uses Store’s PA System To Call Out Management, Quit Job

pa-system-quitting.jpg This is a video of now former Canadian Walmart employee Jackson Racicot calling out unfair management practices and then quitting his job over the store's PA system. Admittedly, I've always wanted to do that. "Quit your job over a PA system?" No, just use a PA system. I can see it now: Attention all shoppers and associates, there's a hot bod in aisle eight. Repeat, hot bod in aisle eight. *silence* Me, everybody, I'm talking about me. Blue-light special. *more silence* Well damn *tearing up Target application* that was a whole lot cooler in my daydreams. Keep going for the video while I speculate just how long it takes before all in-store PA systems have a kill-switch, and how Jackson's new job hunt is going now that he's plastered this video on the internet. Wait a minute -- aren't you that kid...

Pro Pool Player Demonstrates 4 Minutes Of His Trick Shots

This is a video of a pool pro showing off almost four minutes of his various trick shots. I like how he edited the video to quickly cut from shot to shot too -- I hate videos that just waste my time with a bunch of dead air. My time is valuable, you know? "Nobody believes that." Mom! "Now stop counting the popcorn ceiling and help me with these groceries." Ugh, for the last time I'm not COUNTING, I'm looking for shapes. Keep going for the video.

Probably the best present I ever bought…and got.

If you’ve read here long enough you know how much I love StoryWorth.  They’ve sponsored weekly wrap-ups and helped keep things running and this week they bought an ad so I could buy 8 more coats for kids for the … Continue reading

You Might Be Drunk If 42

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Fantastic: Hand Drawn Flipbooks Of Almost All The Booby Traps In Home Alone

This is a video compilation of flipbooks created by The Flippist featuring almost all of the booby traps Kevin set for Wet Bandits Marv and Harry in the original Home Alone movie. In his own words while I try to get my coworker Greg to step on a nail:
The booby trap scene from Home Alone already feels like a cartoon, so turning it into a flipbook was natural! It especially works great with the amazing sound effects. This took over a month to draw/color, but has always been one of my favorite movies so I had a lot of fun making it. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!
Well that was absolutely delightful. So what was your favorite booby trap? Personally I can't pick a favorite because I enjoyed them all, I just like hearing my enemies in pain. *Greg screams, a smile spreads across my face* You know, I don't even need to eat lunch today that just filled me with so much joy. Don't get me wrong, I'll still eat whatever Greg brought because he'll be in the hospital, but you know what I mean. Keep going for the video, complete with great surprise ending while I start penning a Get Well Late card.

This Instagram Account Only Posts Selena Quintanilla Memes And I’m Screaming

I miss her

If you’re like me, then you believe that Selena Quintanilla was one of the best performers of all time. Even 23 years after her death (holy shit...23 years), I still think about her constantly.

The day that Selena died was one of the worst days of my life: I got home from my first day at a new middle school where I had 0 friends, to discover that I had gotten my period for the first time AND that Selena had passed away. I immediately locked myself in my room, logged onto AOL, printed out highly pixelated photos of Selena to fill my see-through binder with, and listened to a bootleg CD of Amor Prohibido while I cried.

With time, I ate up any new Selena related thing to come out: the movie starring J Lo, her live album and the MAC Cosmetics line dedicated to her. So when I discovered that there was an Instagram page that ONLY POSTED SELENA MEMES, I followed them so fast that my finger caught on fire.

Here are some of my favorites!










Follow Selena Quintanilla Memes for more!

I’m Shocked: High-Tech Russian Humanoid Robot Revealed To Be Just A Man In A Suit

russian-humanoid-robot-1.jpg In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who didn't believe this 5-ton 'state of the art' Russian mech wasn't just a scrap metal sculpture, a 'cutting-edge' humanoid robot named Boris that was recently on display at a youth technology conference in the country has been unmasked as a man in a commercially available robot costume. The robot's authenticity was first drawn into question after reporters noticed a human's neck clearly visible (seen above), as well as it making a lot of "unnecessary movements" during a dance routine. When reached for comment about the incident, I could only hear the engineers at Boston Dynamics laughing uncontrollably.
The android - known as Boris - had been lauded on the state-owned broadcaster Russia-24 as a technological breakthrough with the ability to walk, talk and dance. It then emerged 'Boris' was in actual fact a 250,000 rouble (£2,975) [~$3,770] costume called Alyosha the Robot, made by a company called Show Robots. According to reports, a photograph published by MBKh Media, a news agency founded by Vladimir Putin's opponent Mikhail Khodorkovsky, appeared to show an actor wearing the suit ahead of the annual Proyektoria technology forum, where "Boris" was displayed.
So it was just a guy in a suit and not a real robot -- it still might encouraged some children to pursue careers in science and technology. Isn't that right, kids? "WE WANNA BE CHARACTERS AT DISNEYLAND!" Well, at least they tried. Keep going for a video of Boris's questionable dance routine, as well as the shot of the man who was operating him unmasked and posing like he was the first human in space or something.

WTF in the world of gifs

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Nope: Ant Infestation Uncovered In Australian Home

australian-ant-problem.jpg In Australia continues to get less and less appealing news, this is a short video from Perth, Western Australia of a home that has an ant problem. Like, a significant ant problem. In the videographer's own words while I huff a can of Raid to keep ants away and kill all the spiders already living in my brain:
"My friends has some trouble with ants coming into the house. All of a sudden more and more kept appearing. They had a builder come into the bedroom and remove the built-in wardrobe and found thousands and thousands of ants living behind the wardrobe in the bedroom. They called the exterminator who said it was the worst he had ever seen."
I was originally going to say this is an equation that can only be solved with fire, but *passing Raid can back for you to take another huff* then I remembered what happens when you try to burn ants. "They just evolve into more powerful fire ants." Exactly, it's basic Pokemon biology 101. "GW I don't wanna huff any more of this." Shhhhhhh, it's good for us. Keep going for the video.

WTF!: Factory Worker Speared By 10 Separate Foot-Long Metal Spikes After Robot Malfunctions

robot-tries-to-kill-worker-1.jpg NOTE: These are the spikes removed from the worker. NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH shots of his arm and back before they were removed by surgeons HERE and HERE. A 49-year old porcelain factory worker in China was recently impaled by ten separate foot-long metal spikes after an industrial robotic arm malfunctioned and fell on him. Yeaaaah, there's no way you can convince me those aren't weapons.
Six steel rods fixed on a steel plate pierced his right shoulder and chest, and four penetrated elsewhere in his body. During the operation, doctors found that one of the rods missed an artery by just 0.1mm. His condition is now described as stable and he will undergo treatment and physiotherapy to assist his recovery, and he is already able to move his right arm.
Well at least he's stable and not dead. I'm not even sure how he survived that unless the robot was just trying to send a message and not actually kill him. And we should probably listen to that message, then in true climate-change fashion just completely ignore it and wait until the robots have killed us all, the end. Thanks to David, who agrees if you're ever considering taking a job in a factory with giant spiked robotic arms, consider reconsidering.

This Toy Feeds Off Of Screams And It’s Hilarious

This shouldn’t be a real thing but I’m so glad that it is


Are you struggling to find a last minute gift for a kid in your life? Don’t know what to get the kid who has everything? Do you fucking hate children? Boy do I have the toy for you.

This year, give something special. Like trauma, the gift that keeps on giving.

New from Hasbro, the company that brought you things like My Little Pony and ouija boards, comes a toy that is sure to make this holiday season a truly memorable one. Introducing, Yellies! Fuzzy electronic spiders that are drawn to the sound of your voice, and the louder you are, the faster they move.

YUP

THE LOUDER YOU SCREAM, THE FASTER THE SPIDERS WILL COME AFTER YOU

LIKE WHO THE HELL GREEN LIT THIS PROJECT

I don’t know for sure how the pitch meeting went that lead to this creature of hell becoming a reality, but it was probably something like...

“Okay, so for this new toy - you remember how in A Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington and friends replaced all of the children’s toys with their own versions, which came to life and terrorized everyone and for sure caused extensive psychological damage that would require years of therapy?”

“... Yes”

“That’s it. That’s my whole pitch”

It’s perfect


Unsurprisingly, this toy is already traumatizing children. And maybe I’m just an asshole, but it is fucking hilarious.

(You can read this mom’s detailed experience with Yellies here)

The slogan for the toy is “the louder you yell, the faster they go” which could also 100% be the tagline for a goddamn horror movie. The advertised age limit is “5 and up”, which seems unfair because I really don’t think you’re ever too young to be emotionally scarred. It’s all about that early development, right?

Amazingly, they are flying off the shelves. Some Target and Walmart locations have actually sold out of particular models, and considering that these would be a CLEARLY HORRIFIC GIFT NO ONE COULD SERIOUSLY BUY WITH GOOD INTENTIONS, this can only mean one thing:

A fuck ton of people agree that the idea of scaring the absolute shit out of kids is hilarious.

And, honestly, they’re not wrong. I know you generally shouldn’t buy things for yourself this time of year because that kind of goes against the whole spirit of the holidays, but c’mon, watching one (or more, if you’re chaotic evil) of these little spider toys from hell rip around the house after your friend’s kid would almost be a gift in itself.


Look I’m not saying you SHOULD do this, I’m just saying that if you WANTED TO, you can buy them here.

Dariya Lo

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Billy on the Street with LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA!!!

Are New Yorkers happy? Is anyone happy in this day and age?

In the latest episode of Billy on the Street, Billy Eichner is joined by his latest celebrity guest, star of stage and screen as well as the creator of the musical ‘Hamilton’, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Together they hit the streets to find out how random New Yorkers happiness levels are going, and more importantly, if Lin-Manuel can inspire them to be even happier.

Starring: Billy Eichner & Lin-Manuel Miranda

Cars Vs New York City with Negin Farsad

The New American Road Trip: Episode 7

Comedian JC Coccoli arrives at the final stop of ‘The New American Road Trip’ and what city is better to end the trip than one famous for being on the cutting edge of everything? We are of course talking about the big apple, the city that never sleeps, the melting pot that is New York City.

This week the road trip’s designated driver JC meets up with social justice comedian Negin Farsad to talk about New York’s biggest enemy in the fight for a clean future. Private Cars.

Despite being well known for its variety of public transport transport and clean energy alternatives, New York is still completely congested by cars, and if the traffic wasn’t enough to kill you, the pollution they cause surely will. But can New York let go of its need of cars and embrace the cleaner public transport options the rest of the country envies?

Trump Impersonator Gives Impromptu Interview That’s As Bonkers As The Real Thing

Anthony Atamanuik went off on wild tangents in typical Trump style during the sit-down with "Late Night" host Seth Meyers.

Winter Randomness 22

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‘Thank U, Cats’ Is The Most Purrfect Parody Of Ariana Grande’s ‘Thank U, Next’

“I’m so f**king grateful for my cats."

Seth Meyers Makes Wild Prediction About How Donald Trump May Be Arrested

It involves Burger King wrappers, a cabin and Trump's name written large.

Samantha Bee Gives Blistering Review Of Fox News’ New Streaming Service: ‘Toxic Slop’

The "Full Frontal" host described Fox Nation as "pure substance-free propaganda squirted right down your slobber hole."

Failing At Life 34

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B.C. for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

B.C. for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

The Cast of the New ‘Star Wars’ Show is Crazy AF

By JM McNab  Published: December 13th, 2018 

11 Forgotten Heroes From History’s Worst Comics Publisher

By Seanbaby  Published: December 13th, 2018 

James Frey Wrote The Worst Book Of 2018, Here’s Why

By Mark Hill  Published: December 13th, 2018 

Momma for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Momma for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Wizard of Id for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Andy Capp for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Andy Capp for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Agnes for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Agnes for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Heathcliff for Dec 13, 2018 for 12/13/2018

Heathcliff for Dec 13, 2018

Updated: Thu Dec 13, 2018

Stephen Colbert Has Some Incredibly Blunt Advice For Michael Cohen’s First Day In Prison

The "Late Show" host has a tip for the former personal attorney to Donald Trump.

Skate Or Die 2

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The gifs will overflow 5

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Seth Meyers Burns Almost Everything About The Holidays

"Bethlehem innkeepers, where do you get off turning away a pregnant woman?"

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B.C. for Dec 12, 2018 for 12/12/2018

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5 Businesses That Went Above And Beyond To Screw Employees

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And Now, Andy Serkis As Gollum As Theresa May

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Guy Accidentally Invites 25,000 Strangers To Holiday Party

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5 Inspiring Real-Life Stories Of The Little Guy Winning

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Momma for Dec 12, 2018 for 12/12/2018

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Agnes for Dec 12, 2018 for 12/12/2018

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Sick Of Elf On A Shelf? Jimmy Kimmel Has A Way To Make Christmas Great Again.

Huckabee in a Tree sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're a fake.

Trevor Noah Says He’s ‘Proud Of President Trump’ – Here’s Why

Many people have said Trump never changes, but that's not how the host of "The Daily Show" sees it.

‘Late Show’ Reveals What Mike Pence Was Thinking During That Bonkers Meeting

The vice president sat quietly in the middle of a raucous Oval Office debate.

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