Happy Birthday beaniebop!

happy birthday meme with a tiny grey kitten holding a piece of bacon in its mouth

Birthdays are a favorite time for pets. Besides family holidays, there is no better time to beg, steal, and otherwise chow down on tons of human food.

Plus people will be in a generous, giving mood so instead of getting booped on the nose, you might just get a piece of cake.

Don't miss out on dozens more Happy Birthday Memes with animals.

LoL by: Sylviag (via knowyourmeme.com)

Happy Birthday!

Siberian husky - My 4 year old niece can't read and bought me this birthday card because it featured 'a cute dog with a party hat' DIE ALREADY

There is no one to judge you on your birthday, except maybe your pet. They will see you at your very best and worst after a day of celebrations, so make sure to act accordingly.

The last thing you want is your parrot to start mimicking your drunk ranting when your parents come over.

Now head over and enjoy some more Happy Birthday Memes with animals here.

Submitted by: (via Know Your Meme)

The Sound Of A Screw Falling Through A Jet Engine

dropping-screw-in-turbine-engine.jpg This is a video of a man dropping a screw through a turbine engine. It sounds beautiful, but it's a sound no turbine engine technician wants to hear "because it means you have to get that thing you dropped in there back out. Jet engines are heavy and sensitive, so it's a big deal to lift one up and turn it over, just to hopefully drop out a small piece that some dumbass dropped in there. If that does not work, the engine must be disassembled to the point where the item can be retrieved. This will be an expensive process.... that's why it's a bad sound." Yeah, well *jingling pocketful of screws and pennies* I'm no jet engine repairman and I think it sounds pretty. Keep going for the video.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Photo caption - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sorry-l very almost forgot (but I didn't quite.) ICHNHSCHEE2EURGER cOM

How do you celebrate your birthday? What makes that one day of the year special for you more than the rest?

Each person celebrates in their own way, and make the day a meaningful one. But one thing is undeniable no matter where you are. Your pet has to be part of the festivities.

Now go have a look at these Happy Birthday Memes with animals.

LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

Guy Shares Experiences From His First Five Days Working At Target

funny tumblr stories about first days working at target, shopping, shoppers, working retail, customer service.

We all know working in retail can be an absolute hell, but this account of a dude's first five days at Target proves there actually are decent days working in customer service. In just five days of tending to paying customers, he met a lot of...active...older people, some seriously funny weirdos, and a whole lot of cute kids. It may not be a gripping account, but it certainly is an entertaining and heartwarming one. 

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Happy Birthday laughingcats!

Cleverness Here Cleverness Here Cleverness Here We tryin tu see how long we kan hold owt before we laff owt lowd wid happiness for ur birfday. Buster furst wun tu go! Ha Ha! Splort! Hee Hee! Bedder dan a tummy tikkul!

The time has come. Time to make some sort of speech about making changes and being a better person. About those who are in your life and those who are no longer. With euphemisms and flowery language.

It is of course time for your birthday. And though you might not have anyone to listen to your eloquent speech, rejoice! You at least have one active listener. Here are some Happy Birthday Memes to help you get through it. 


LoL by: Sylviag (via knowyourmeme.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Dog - HAPPY BIRTHDAY I got this special leaf just for you ! 1CANHSCHEE2EURGER coM

Birthdays are a time of the year where everyone gets their 10 minutes of fame. Whether it's a surprise party or a round of shots at the bar, having a birthday can be a fantastic way to get free stuff.

But you know what's better than getting free stuff once a year? Telling them every time you go out is your birthday. Then you can celebrate to the max every time. What could be better than that?

Try out these Happy Birthday Memes if you're not all partied out yet.

LoL by: caricat (via Know Your Meme)

Sassy Spotify Wrapped Memes & Tweets

funny memes and tweets about spotify wrapped 2019

It may only be the beginning of December, but Spotify decided to release their annual "Wrapped" feature yesterday. The "year in review" offers users some insight regarding their listening habits - favorite artists, favorite songs, etc. This year, the streaming company went the extra mile to give us data for every year since their inception. While it's a fun and enlightening tool, our social media feeds have since been clogged with people sharing their results. Who's gonna tell 'em that people don't want to see that on their timeline? To combat the boring and banal Wrapped posts, resourceful content creators and Twitter users have been hard at work meme-ing the phenomenon and throwing shade on Twitter. The shade is way more entertaining than the Wrapped data. See for yourself.

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happy birthday, littleAPC!

i nawt sure wat dis is 'xactly, but da weird guy on da street korner said it were good it costed me a wole elebenty pennies, so i hope you lieks it happy birthday, littleAPC

Your pets should absolutely be a part of your birthday celebration. How are you going to deny your best friend the chance to party as much as you, all the while not having a clue what's going on.

Animals are adorable, especially in Happy Birthday memes and any animal in a party hat or simply celebrating is critical for a successful birthday. If you don't believe it, ask the cat.

The 10th Annual James Garfield Miracle!

Hello and welcome to year 10 (TEN?!) of the James Garfield Miracle! As you probably know, last year got gross when we had a few scammers show up and I considered just stopping the whole thing.  Many of you offered … Continue reading

Special Edition Coke Bottles With OLED Lightsabers (In Singapore)

These are the special edition Coca-Cola No Sugar bottles being released in Singapore that have button activated light-up OLED lightsabers in the labels. Only 8,000 of the bottles are being distributed to 45 secret locations, with hints to those locations being released on Coke's Singapore Instagram and Facebook pages. Me? I'm just going to wait for one to appear on eBay then pay a stupid amount of money for it just so I can have one to impress my kids and make them think I'm cool. "But you don't have kids." My girlfriend doesn't know that. Keep going for a video of a bottle being lit.

Shhh

funny woman yelling at cat meme

That'll shut her up!

Submitted by: (via @memebase)

Happy Birthday!

happy birthday meme of a cute cat wearing birthday decorations

It's your birthday, it's your birthday, who's older, who's closer to the inevitable mid-life crisis. That's right, you are! Its your special day.

So howl at the moon, party like there's no tomorrow, and make sure to take a ton of pictures to remind yourself in the next year why this behavior only comes once a year. And check out some more happy birthday memes while you're at it. 

LoL by: Catgirl (via knowyourmeme.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

happy birthday meme of a cat head sticking through a piece of bread

Are you feeling older yet? Have the sands of time once again come to you and made you feel old as all hell? Then luckily for you we have solutions ready at hand. All you need to do is to check out more Happy Birthday Memes and act like a kid again for that one day of the year. Your youth will come back to you quick as lightning.

Note: This recommendation does not come with any medical backing by any doctor of any kind.

LoL by: bloowe (via knowyourmeme.com)

Holy Smokes: Security Cam Footage Of An Underground Gas Tank Exploding At Gas Station

These are two security cam videos from a gas station in Medinah, Saudi Arabia when one of its underground tanks explodes. Amazingly, nobody was injured, although one guy runs back to his car to get in and drive away, and another drives off with the nozzle still in his tank (I thought it was going to break off but it just yanks out). No word who's at fault for the explosion, but I suspect the mole people. They're always tunneling places they shouldn't be on account of not being able to read signs due to low light and piss-poor vision. Keep going for this video and another gif from a different camera.

Amusing Bathroom Graffiti From Inspired Poopers

funny bathroom graffiti

We haven't investigated this theory, but it feels as though in the age of the smartphone bathroom graffiti is on the decline. We don't know about you, but sometimes reading some fellow idiot's attempt at comedy is more satisfying than scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. This gallery is a healthy mix of classics and some serious creativity

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Happy Birthday Bobbles!!!!!!!

happy birthday meme of a cute cat sticking its head through a chair

Birthdays are a perfect litmus test to figure out who is really a true friend. Who is going to make the effort to write a Facebook post, who sends you a Happy Birthday Meme, and who takes you on a surprise vacation to the Cayman Islands.

It's all relative, so make sure to keep your friends close, and the generous ones even closer. 

LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

Happy Birthday Bailey ! From Grandma & Grandpa !

happy birthday meme with a cute dog saying happy birthday bailey from grandma and grandpa

Why do people celebrate getting older? Just the thought of having more responsibility, less time to figure your s&*t out.

But at least you have an excuse to act the fool without (too) much judgement. So use it, check out some happy birthday memes and party your heart out.



LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

Thanks, Internet: Pachelbel’s Canon In D Performed By Train Horns

pachelbel-on-train-horns.jpg Note: Quick flashing colors. Because given enough time, the internet will provide, this is a video of Pachelbel's iconic Canon In D performed by clips of train horns edited from footage by ACETrainsUK (plus a little Thomas The Tank Engine action at 1:00). It starts off good and just keeps getting better until it feels like your mind is about to melt in ecstasy (or a splitting headache) after the drop at the 2-minute mark. *pulling pants back up* That was intense. "Wait -- why were your pants down?" YOLO. "No but seriously." *flushes* "Oh." I do my best work in here. Keep going for the whole video (the horns begin at 0:20) but if you're just going to watch a few seconds skip to 1:55 and prepare to be blown away.

Frustrating Memes For Those Who Suffer From A Chronic Illness

Funny and relatable memes for people who have chronic illnesses

Those who deal with chronic illnesses are no doubt used to getting asinine comments from ignorant people about how you should just "exercise away the pain," or "try cutting dairy out of your diet." 

Quite frankly, it can get exhausting trying to explain things to stupid people - that's why we decided to throw together a gallery full of memes to help you feel a little more understood.

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Happy Birthday CatMadinWestYorkshire!

happy birthday meme of a white cat sleeping near a cake

Brazil and Hungary share a unique birthday tradition. In both countries, they tug on the earlobes of the person who is celebrating the birthday, and in Hungary, this act is accompanied by a song belted by everyone there celebrating.

I'm not sure how yelling a song in someone's ear shows how much they are appreciated, but it seems like its still a popular way to celebrate one more year of life on this planet! Take a look at some more Happy Birthday Memes here. 

LoL by: Sylviag (via knowyourmeme.com)

Happy Birthday luvmy8catz

happy birthday memes it's Millie's birthday!bring out the cake!bring out the presents!bring out the party favors!

How do you celebrate your birthday? Do you go to a restaurant, party until the daylight, or just sit at home acknowledging you've succeeded in taking one more trip around the Sun.

Whatever the case, here are more Happy Birthday Memes. Give yourself the time to acknowledge the accomplishment, and maybe invite some friends to share. Don't be a stranger.

Whee!: Roomba Stuck Under Chair Takes It For A Spin

This is a short video of a Roomba that finds itself stuck under a dining room chair and decides to ask it to dance. Who knew Roombas were so strong? It could probably perform that lift at the end of Dirty Dancing if it wanted to. Me? I don't think I've ever been asked to dance in my whole life. I would always attend all the school dances, but I was always a wallflower. "You hid in the shadows like a vampire." Ahahahaha, my girlfriend hated prom. Keep going for the full video.

Random Cool Stuff GIFDUMP 31

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

Happy birthday!

happy birthday meme with a cats head in a pizza slice

Did you know? In some Caribbean countries it is traditional on someone's birthday for their family members to throw flour at them? It can get even more complete when they usually douse the celebrator in water before, making the paste really hard to get off.

Seems like pranking a friend on a daily basis. But to each their own and while you're at it, have a look at these Happy Birthday Memes for some giggles. 

LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

Saucy Innuendo-Filled Moments From Classic Cartoons

funny moments from kids shows, innuendo, sex jokes

We all know about Disney's very adult Easter eggs, but have you ever watched the kids shows of your youth as an adult? There's a lot of humor that only your parents (or the kid with a lot of older siblings) would get. These little television tidbits are sure to leave you craving a rewatch of everything from Spongebob Squarepants to Rugrats

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happy birthday to you!

happy birthday memes with two cute kittens

Birthdays are a Hallmark card away from becoming a cliche. The next level is celebrating on the exact hour of your birth. Even if that is at 4am and you're barely conscious, that is when you should celebrate the day of your birth.

That way, we can avoid the mass of birthday goers at any given popular restaurant and actually enjoy our time there. Check out some more Happy Birthday Memes here. 

LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

Fix Your Life with a Spoonful of Ice Cream Sundae

Could you find the fatal flaw in this ice cream?


Many people can’t get past mistakes. And some of those people turn that into a career to benefit society and make the world a better place. One such career is that of a video game quality control specialist. Take Willow, who comes into an ice cream shop after 13 hours on the job, hunting for flaws.

For true happiness, try looking for the positive. Like a soul enriching spoonful of delicious ice cream. In Funny Or Die’s Ice Cream Therapy, our ice cream artisans, JP (played by JP Sears) and Gabbie (Gabbie Hanna) create the perfect sundaes to improve your life.


Director, Writer: Chris Smith, Jack De Sena

Producer: James Risolo

Executive Producer: Chris Michael

Lead Cast

JP Sears

Gabbie Hanna

Additional Cast for Episode 6

Jess Pohly as Willow

Crew

Director of Photography: Sean Conte

Production Designer: Elaine Carey

Editor: Nick Smith

Costume Designer: Emily Ting

Casting Director: Riley Hamilton

1st Assistant Director: Bryan Lake

2nd Assistant Director: Richard Lee Dalton

Production Coordinator: Alec Robbins

Production Assistant: Charlie Thomas

Production Assistant: Andrew Johnson

Production Assistant: Carlynn De Joya

B/Cam Operator: Austin Puckett

1st Assistant Camera: Andy Huynh

1st Assistant Camera: Aaron Kohn

2nd Assistant Camera: Kate Ruthenbeck

DIT: Max Parada

Camera PA: Nolan Anderson

Camera PA: Steven Miller

Gaffer: Jack Langlois

Best Boy: Taylor Huddleson

Key Grip: Sean McQueen

Grip: Matt Cole

BB Grip: Nick Herman

Electrician: Daniel Kreuziger

Set Decorator/Propmaker: Shannon Pollak

Set Dresser: Sarah Lew

Set Dresser: Theo Cohn

Set Dresser: Brendan Sheley

Set Dresser: Nick “Spooky” Logie

Set Dresser: Zach Miller

Props: Samantha Villegas

Post Production Supervisor: Aaron Talavera

Assistant Editor: Jeremiah Williams

Assistant Editor: Collin Lapinsky

Wardrobe Assistant: Sam Muglia

Script Supervisor: Michael Hadge

Sound Mixer: Ryan Agostino

Boom Operator: Michael Alaynick

HMU Supervisor: Michelle Diaz

HMU Assistant: Hajja Barnes

SVP, Physical Production: Jim Ziegler

Manager, Physical Production: Carly Reeve

Questionable: How To Extinguish A Person That’s On Fire

Because apparently stop, drop, and roll is old hat, this is a video from the Indonesian Civil Defense demonstrating how to extinguish a person whose clothes are on fire. *licks finger, sizzles on sad butt leaving a blue stain on khakis from Razzberry Blow Pop* They start with an arm, then demonstrate the leg and chest as well. Of course maybe if you didn't set a friend on fire in the first place you wouldn't have to extinguish them. Also, I feel like this isn't really practical for real life situations because it's just the alcohol they sprayed on the clothes that's burning, not the actual clothes. These are more superficial fires. And you know how I feel about superficial fires. "They don't get the job done." If you can't see it from space, I didn't start it. Keep going for the full video while I teach a crash course in dumpster fires in the alley behind our office.

Twenty-Seven Dumb Posts For Those Deprived Of Entertainment

Funny random memes

Let's face it, looking through these memes is better than anything else you could've possibly been doing because your life isn't that exciting. But that's okay, because neither is ours.

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Happy Birthday, anamenomena!

happy birthday meme with a cat saying and every peep in Cheezland had a happy that day for it was anamenomena's birthday wishing you a happy birthday and much joy in the next year

Why don't we have birthday parties as adults? Our parents used to pull out all the stops to make a perfect celebration as best they could. Now it's just an ironic card and some cash.

There should be a new trend of extravagant parties for adults to celebrate this special day. Why shouldn't we party like it's 1999? While you ponder that, here are some more Happy Birthday memes for your entertainment. 

Happy Birthday!

happy birthday meme of a cute cat waving its paw

Why do we only celebrate one day of the year? Why only celebrate our life on Earth a single day, only to continue on our merry way the day after. Seems like we should be celebrating life every day, maybe that one day a year, we should really do nothing. Just acknowledge the day with pensive thought and self-improvement.

Or just go to the bar and get plastered and here are some more Happy Birthday Memes. Your birthday, your choice.

LoL by: Unknown (via knowyourmeme.com)

(702): So. My mom went grocery…

(702): So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.

I’m Flying Jack!: Driver Loses Control Of Vehicle, Launches Over Cars Lined Up At Dealership

This is a short security cam video of a Citrus County, Florida motorist who got dizzy behind the wheel, lost control of his Camry, and launched out of a ditch, flying 139 feet over two rows of cars lined up at a dealership before crashing into two others and coming to a stop. Thankfully, nobody at the dealership was injured and the driver was treated at the hospital but fine now. I mean, except for those dizzy spells. You might want to get those investigated. Also, was that dealership employee at the very beginning signaling a touchdown? Keep going for the whole video in full speed, complete with another camera angle of the car crashing into the others.

Overflow 529

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

Happy Birthday Macmom!!

happy birthday cat meme marcom "snuggles was so excited for you, he decided to do a happee danse across the table. At least he took the food off before doing it.

Birthdays come but once a year, and maybe it would be better if they skipped. Who wants to grow older, feel older, be one step closer to the inevitable....beer gut.

You're young and free so celebrate! And make sure to eat lots of cake and demand tribute from your subjects (friends) in the form of cash gifts and personal favors. Check out more Happy Birthday Memes  for a good chuckle. 

LoL by: Yurii (via knowyourmeme.com)

(519): You know that tattoo place…

(519): You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!

Happy Birthday to you

happy birthday meme with a cat playing a fake guitar

Break out the sparklers and fireworks its birthday time. Time for raucous laughter, excessive drinking, and all the rules of a well-functioning society thrown out the window.

Not. But it is time to recognize you are one year older, and on the far side of the year to come. So make a wish, take a shot, check out some more Happy Birthday Memes and party like your're 18 and in college. Or invite your friends to a wine tasting and pretend high society comes naturally to you.

LoL by: brigieo (via knowyourmeme.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

happy birthday memes with a cat getting hit by a snowball

It's your birthday, its time to celebrate with some Happy Birthday Memes. Time to drag out the 10 year old reused birthday decorations and make yourself a cake. Or just guilt your friends into making the minimal effort to "surprise" you.


But your pet will always want to celebrate with you. Sure they might just be waiting for the right moment to inhale a piece of cake when your back is turned, but they will be just as excited as you, if not more so, for your special day. 

(402): Just realized I’ve…

(402): Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.

Happy Birthday, JediSquirrel!!

happy birthday meme star wars jedi

It's finally here! You've taken one more trip around the Sun. Now bask in the glory that is your personal triumphs and friends adulation. But hey, its your birthday, you deserve it.


But if you want to find even more Birthday Memes, and this doesn't scratch your itch, this is the place to go, or a doctor.



It’s Easier Than You Think to Turn an Old Window Into the Perfect Coffee Table

diy window into a coffee table

Imgur user needdavr1990 put their crafty skills to work to reclaim this old decorative window.

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Tagged: list , table , DIY , image

Who Invented the Emoticon and Emoji? (And How They’re Forever Changing Written Language)

Historically, written language has always been rather limited in its ability to adequately represent the nuance of in-person communication, which comes with a whole slew of gesticulations, facial expressions, subtle shifts in tone and the like. As such, humans have been attempting to find ways around this problem seemingly as long as we’ve been writing stuff down.

Going back to the earliest alphabetic writings, their situation was unsurprisingly worst of all, with a complete lack of lower case letters, punctuation, and even spaces between words.  As you might imagine, for example in Ancient Greek, it was a rare feat for an individual to understand a given text they were reading the first time through, or even after several readings. By the 3rd century BC, punctuation in the West started to become a thing, though its spread was not without its detractors. For example, Roman orator Cicero (106-43 BC) scorned such punctuation, noting things like when and how long to pause for breath when reciting some bit of written text “ought to be determined not… by a stroke interposed by a copyist, but by the constraint of the rhythm.” In short, he felt adding punctuation was an inferior form of writing, and the person speaking that text should be skilled enough to figure it out without, based on the words alone.

Bizarrely, it would be another thousand years after rudimentary punctuation was introduced before spaces between words would become common, around the 7th and 8th centuries.

It would be another 800 years or so on top of that, thanks to the printing press, that humans thought it would be a good idea to once again improve on our ability to convey meaning in writing better, this time in more defined and consistent usage of punctuation and syntax. A major push towards this end came thanks to one Aldo Manutius the Younger (1547-1597) publishing a book on the subject in the early 1560s called Orthographiae ratio (A System of Orthography). In the book, Aldo built on the ancient Greeks’ minimal punctuation marks and designated that the comma would separate phrases and clauses, the colon would be used for lists, and the “full point” (read: period) would denote the end of the sentence. Aldo also explained the uses of other basic punctuation including the question mark, apostrophe, exclamation point and quotation marks.

On top of that, he explicitly noted that the purpose of these marks was more than merely as a rhetorical aid, but that such marks were necessary in order to express and preserve meaning.

Ben Jonson’s English Grammar (1640) further solidified this idea, illustrating how punctuation could help preserve an author’s original intention, rather than just giving a guide to how to read a text out-loud. Well received by most, by the time of the Restoration (1660), using punctuation for syntactical purposes was finally common, though much like with Cicero before, not without some detractors. A universal truth throughout the ages is that people hate change, no matter if clearly superior. And when talking about anything academic, generally think things are wrong or worse when not the way they were taught growing up, regardless as to whether it’s even possible in a given thing for it to be inherently right or wrong.

So what does any of this have to do with the emoticon and emoji? As alluded to, throughout this progression of written language, even through modern times, many of even the most distinguished writers have lamented that the basic written language tools available are insufficient to make the meaning of certain statements and words in the context of a written work inherently clear.

Enter emojis and emoticons, examples of which have been around for a shockingly long time, despite only recently widely used in communication.

In fact, it turns out the earliest known smiley on something goes all the way back about 4,000 years, found on a Hittite pot used for storing sherbet in. Apparently drinking said sherbet made the owner of the pot happy and he or she felt compelled to express that on the pot itself.

From there, we need to fast-forward to 1635 for the next prominent smiley meant to communicate something, penned by notary Ján Ladislaides of the town of Trencín in Slovakia. He drew this noteworthy little smiley next to his signature when he signed a document concerning the accounts of the Chamberlain of the Town Hall. Presumably this was to enhance his signature’s text to indicate he was not just signing off on the document’s contents, but happy with them.

The next known instance of a smiley in text occurred in 1648 in a poem by Robert Herrick, To Fortune, which has the lines:

Tumble me down, and I will sit

Upon my ruins, (smiling yet:)

If it was intentional, and not just a typo, this would make this the first known instance of a sideways smiley in text.

Moving on from there, on August 7, 1862, a New York Times writer also included the following when penning a transcript of a speech by Abraham Lincoln: “I believe there is no precedent for my appearing before you on this occasion, [applause] but it is also true that there is no precedent for your being here yourselves, (applause and laughter ;)…” This is yet another case of it not being clear if this was meant to indicate a smiley or merely a printing typo.

Whatever the case, becoming more explicit, on March 30, 1881, Puck magazine editors went so far as to create a set of typographical emoticons to help out in making certain writing more clear, with their set representing Joy, Melancholy, Indifference, and Astonishment.

Moving on to the early 20th century and in 1912, famed writer Ambrose Bierce proposed his own little smiley to indicate when one is joking, stating,

It is written thus  and represents, as nearly as may be, a smiling mouth. It is to be appended, with the full stop, to every jocular or ironical sentence; or, without the stop, to every jocular or ironical clause of a sentence otherwise serious- thus: “Mr. Edward Bok is the noblest work of God .”

Independently building upon this idea, in 1936, Alan Gregg of Harvard even attempted to create a whole set of emoticons, using (-) for the smile, (–) for laughter, (*) for a wink, and (#) for a frown.

Unfortunately in all the preceding cases and countless similar attempts to improve the tools of of writing to better capture what we humans can convey in person so easily with our body language and tone, Gregg’s ideas did not stick.

One reason for this was a lack of perceived need by the masses, as humans historically used writing very different than conversational speech. As illustrated by linguist John McWhorter of Columbia University,

When you write, because it’s a conscious process, because you can look backwards, you can do things with language that are much less likely if you’re just talking. For example, imagine a passage from Edward Gibbon’s “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire:” “The whole engagement lasted above twelve hours, till the graduate retreat of the Persians was changed into a disorderly flight, of which the shameful example was given by the principal leaders and the Surenas himself.” That’s beautiful, but let’s face it, nobody talks that way…

Casual speech is something quite different. Linguists have actually shown that when we’re speaking casually in an unmonitored way, we tend to speak in word packets of maybe seven to 10 words… That’s what speech is like. Speech is much looser. It’s much more telegraphic. It’s much less reflective — very different from writing. So we naturally tend to think, because we see language written so often, that that’s what language is, but actually what language is, is speech. They are two things.

Thus, up to this point while people were writing books, speeches, and letters and the like, these are all generally a much more thoughtful way of communicating, akin to highly structured monologuing at someone for some amount of time. Even in the case of many letters, this often expects a lengthy, thoughtful monologue both to someone, and in return. It’s not usually a conversation as we would do in person, particularly throughout much of history where the relative difficulty and time it took to send a letter to someone any distance away did not exactly encourage people to restrict themselves to a quick message.

Thus, while the telegraph would see advancements in the art of mimicking human conversation more accurately, as we’ll get to in the Bonus Fact in a bit, the stronger pressure to try to capture conversational human speech in text form wouldn’t really come until the digital age, when that’s exactly what we humans started trying to do. The problem, of course, is that we found the restrictions of traditional writing and the tools available insufficient for the task.

This all inspired the users of, for example, the PLATO IV system in 1972 to actually use a facility of that system to solve the problem, creating a whole slew of the first emojis and emoticons in the process.

And if you’re wondering about the distinction here, “emoji” derives from the Japanese for “picture” and “character”, so “picture character”. In contrast, “emoticon” derives from the English “emotion icon”. Thus, while you might think given the two words’ similarity and what they represent also being similar that one came from the other, this is actually purely coincidental.

In any event, going back to the PLATO IV system, with this system, users could press SHIFT-space and then a character to have that character plotted over the previous character without overwriting it. Particularly clever users used this fact to come up with all sorts of little images to represent various emotions and otherwise add context and meaning to a given bit of text, or sometimes to just have the thing stand alone to communicate something, like some sort of modern hieroglyphic. Eventually there were many hundreds of such symbols being used on this system.

However, despite how widespread the use of these emojis and emoticons were in this system, almost no one credits the users of this system as having “invented” either.

Similarly, one Kevin MacKenzie suggested in an April 12, 1979 digital message that “-)” should be used to represent when a statement was meant to be “tongue in cheek”. But MacKenzie, too, is generally not given credit for inventing the emoticon. In both of these cases, and many other such examples, this is simply because these instances were not the path to popularization.

So who is given the credit for inventing the emoticon and the emoji? As to the former, enter Computer Science professor Dr. Scott E Falman of Carnegie Mellon University.

Like others before him, his inspiration came from a chat message board, where people were struggling to mimic in-person human conversation in a digital, text space. Fahlman explains,

[The] Computer Science community at Carnegie Mellon was making heavy use of online bulletin boards or “bboards”. These were a precursor of today’s newsgroups, and they were an important social mechanism in the department – a place where faculty, staff, and students could discuss the weighty matters of the day on an equal footing. Many of the posts were serious… [or] of general interest, ranging from politics to abortion to campus parking to keyboard layout (in increasing order of passion). Even in those days, extended “flame wars” were common… Given the nature of the community, a good many of the posts were humorous (or attempted humor). The problem was that if someone made a sarcastic remark, a few readers would fail to get the joke, and each of them would post a lengthy diatribe in response… soon the original thread of the discussion was buried.

Most notable to the topic at hand, one such discussion in September of 1982 was started considering what would happen if the cables broke in the then perceived poorly maintained Wean Hall elevators. Among other musings was, for example, what would happen to the flame of a lit candle and a drop of mercury in the elevator as it plunged down, as well as what would happen if a pigeon was flying at the time inside said elevator. Things even progressed to what sound the pigeon would make if it previously inhaled helium as it fell- digital nerdery in all its exquisite glory.

While you might think this whole chat would be very apparently tongue-in-cheek, things changed when, on September 16, 1982, one Howard Gayle, referencing the candle and mercury discussion and what would happen after if they tested this in real life, wrote:

Because of a recent physics experiment, the leftmost elevator has been contaminated with mercury. There is also some slight fire damage. Decontamination should be complete by 08:00 Friday.

This ultimately got misinterpreted by some as being an actual experiment that happened, rather than just a continuation of the light hearted musings, as noted by one Neil Swartz the next day where he writes, “Apparently there has been some confusion about elevators and such. After talking to Rudy, I have discovered that there is no mercury spill in any of the Wean hall elevators. Many people seem to have taken the notice about the physics department seriously…”

Naturally, the conversation at this point shifted away from pigeons in plunging elevators to how to solve the problem of very clearly expressing that one is joking in written text. One suggestion made by Anthony Stentz was “How about using * for good jokes and % for bad jokes? We could even use *% for jokes that are so bad, they’re funny.”

To which Keith Wright replied,

No, no, no! Surely everyone will agree that “&” is the funniest character on the keyboard. It looks funny (like a jolly fat man in convulsions of laughter). It sounds funny (say it loud and fast three times). I just know if I could get my nose into the vacuum of the CRT it would even smell funny!

Leonard Hamey then appears to be the first in this discussion to think of trying to match symbols on the keyboard with a human face, stating, “I think that the joke character should be the sequence {#} because it looks like two lips with teeth showing between them. This is the expected result if someone actually laughs their head off. An obvious abbreviation of this sequence would be the hash character itself (which can also be read as the sharp character and suggests a quality which may be lacking in those too obtuse to appreciate the joke.)”

Building on this idea, but without the subtle irony, on September 19th at 11:44am Fahlman quickly wrote a comment that would finally, after literally thousands of years of certain humans lamenting this problem, spur us to come up with a near universally accepted solution. Unfortunately for Fahlman, one of the world’s leading minds in Artificial Intelligence, he did not know history would forever remember him for this comment, and has since lamented he didn’t even bother to proofread it, let alone attempt to sound remotely eloquent. His comment was:

I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:

Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark things that are NOT jokes, given current trends. For this, use:

People on the Carnegie bboards quickly picked this sideways smiley and frowny face up and within 24 hours had also expanded on it, adding the |-: to indicate an alternate for a non-joke.

From there one of the early examples of the sideways smiley being used without explanation can be found in a discussion of aliens holding power tools… Written by one Guy Jacobson in a post titled “Holding a chainsaw?? :-)”, he asks:

Does anyone have a picture of R2D2 holding a seed auger in TeX format? Or how about a rendering of Yoda with a lathe for use with nroff? Any pointers to digitized images of short, cute aliens holding power tools would be greatly appreciated.

Spreading beyond universities, within a couple months, one James Morris in an message titled “Communication Breakthrough”, written to the staff at famed research lab Xerox Parc, stated,

Because you can’t see the person who is sending you electronic mail you are sometimes uncertain whether they are serious or joking. Recently, Scott Fahlman at CMU devised a scheme for annotating one’s messages to overcome this problem. If you turn your head sideways to look at the three characters :-), they look sort of like a smiling face. Thus, if someone sends you a message that says “Have you stopped beating your wife?:-)” you know they are joking. If they say “I need to talk to you :-(“, be prepared for trouble.

It’s at this point we feel it’s worth explicitly pointing out that- yes- the path to emoticons becoming popular did not come through so-called illiterate teenagers, but came from and were popularized by some of the world’s leading academic minds.

In any event, this notation likewise spread to the ARPANET, among other systems, with others along the way coming up with a number of other emoticons to further expand the range of ways to enhance written text.

Fast-forwarding to the 1990s and some were even going so far as to develop actual picture versions of emoticons, instead of just using symbols on the keyboard, more or less going back to what users of the PLATO IV had long before been doing, but using defined picture fonts this time. Examples of this can be seen in things like Microsoft’s Wingding font developed in 1990.

But wingdings and other similar things are not generally credited as launching the emoji- again, with these sorts of things, credit is generally given to the person who made the thing that ultimately resulted in the popularization, not who was actually first.

This could not be better illustrated by the fact that a set of 90 emojis were included with the release of the J-Phone on November 1, 1997. However, this set of emojis is not generally considered to be where the emoji originated either, primarily because the J-Phone at this point was outside of the price range most could afford and, thus, did not bring emojis to the masses.

For that, we turn to a worker at the telecommunications company NTT DoCoMo, Shigetaka Kurita. A year after the J-Phone emoji set, in 1998, Kurita was tasked with creating a set of pictures to sum up various emotions and ideas for NTT DoCoMo’s i-mode mobile internet system. Beyond aiding in conversational clarity, in this system, when sending messages, you only had a maximum of 250 characters to work with, making emojis even more handy for concisely expressing ideas.

And so it was that in a mere 5 weeks, Kurita came up with 176 12×12 pixel emojis. As for his inspirations, he stated, “Both emoji and kanji (Chinese characters used in the Japanese writing system) are ideograms, but I did not find inspiration for designing emoji in the kanji… In creating emoji, I found inspiration in pictograms, manga, and all sorts of other sources.”

When the emojis were released with the system in 1999, they proved to be extremely popular and were quickly copied by other companies around Japan and then beyond.

Since then, both emojis and emoticons have been providing an essential and ever expanding tool to enhance our written language communication, which today, at least when talking distance communication, has come to dominate the way we talk with one another. For example, texting alone accounts for approximately five times as many messages between people compared to phone calls, and when adding in email and social media posts, which also frequently use emoticons and emojis, the numbers skew even further.

Similar to Cicero lamenting early examples of punctuation, this marked shift in the way we communicate textually has been much to the chagrin of many, sometimes condemned, along with so called “chat speak”, as a sign of the degradation of written language.

For example, among other arguments we read against the use of emojis, was that the likes of the supposed pinnacle of masters of written language- Shakespeare- didn’t need emojis to convey subtle meaning… To which we feel compelled to point out that there are literally master’s level college classes offered at various universities to help people understand what the hell Shakespeare was talking about half the time… And even in his own era where more of it would have been inherently understood, Shakespeare was getting to rely on the actors on the stage making the more subtle meaning clearer by their presentation. And don’t even get us started on Shakespeare’s occasional lack of consistent spelling and punctuation (those two things not really being standardized at the time). On a related note, for those still thinking Shakespeare was representative of all things refined and upper class, we feel further compelled to point them to our article on How Far Back a Modern English Speaker Could Go and Still Understand People Speaking English, where we outline why it’s likely Shakespeare and his actors sounded, not like posh British English speakers today, but like Hollywood pirates… Not just in accent, but the bawdy nature of a lot of what they were saying too.

In the end, as Harvard linguist Steven Pinker sums up of emojis and emoticons, “as with many of our punctuation symbols, like a question mark or an exclamation point, [emojis] are there to convey some communicative force that would not be obvious just from the arrangement of words on the page…What the smiley in particular does, mainly conveying irony or levity, is often crucially important in getting a message across, because irony is often undetected… A gifted wordsmith can make it clear that something is intended in jest, however, if it is not hitting the reader over the head with unsubtle irony, if there is any attempt at wit, indirectness…then the readers … might find it going over their heads. In the cases where there’s that danger, the smiley face makes it clear — I’m telling a joke.”

When expanding to talk about the combination of emojis, emoticons, and general chatspeak, the aforementioned Columbia University linguist John McWhorter, rather than lamenting it, goes even further, expressing how revolutionary this is to written communication. He states,

What texting is, despite the fact that it involves the brute mechanics of something that we call writing, is fingered speech. That’s what texting is- now we can write the way we talk…. [It’s] easy to think that… it represents some sort of decline. We see this general bagginess of the structure, the lack of concern with rules and the way that we’re used to learning on the blackboard, and so we think that something has gone wrong… But the fact of the matter is that what is going on is a kind of emergent complexity…in this new kind of language, there is new structure coming up…

We’re seeing…a whole new way of writing that young people are developing, which they’re using alongside their ordinary writing skills, and that means that they’re able to do two things. Increasing evidence is that being bilingual is cognitively beneficial. That’s also true of being bidialectal. That’s certainly true of being bidialectal in terms of your writing. And so texting actually is evidence of a balancing act that young people are using today, not consciously, of course, but it’s an expansion of their linguistic repertoire. It’s very simple. If somebody from 1973 looked at what was on a dormitory message board in 1993, the slang would have changed a little bit since the era of “Love Story,” but they would understand what was on that message board. Take that person from 1993…and they read a very typical text written by a 20-year-old today. Often they would have no idea what half of it meant because a whole new language has developed among our young people doing something as mundane as what it looks like to us when they’re batting around on their little devices… [If] I could go into the future, if I could go into 2033… [I’d ask] please show me a sheaf of texts written by 16-year-old girls, because I would want to know where this language had developed since our times, and ideally I would then send them back to you and me now so we could examine this linguistic miracle happening right under our noses.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy our new popular podcast, The BrainFood Show (iTunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Feed), as well as:

Bonus Fact:

  • Speaking of chatspeak, it turns out it’s been around a lot longer than cell phones and computers. Exhibit A: telegraph operators and Morse Code. Given this form of communication did lend itself to quick messages, not the least of which because long messages were more expensive, such operators had a number of what we might describe as primitive emoticons in beep form, and firmly embracing the concept of what would in more modern times become “chat speak”. For example, rather than sending the full word “Yesterday”, users of telegraph operator Walter P. Phillips’ eventually popular “Phillip’s code”, created in 1879, would simply send the code for the letters “YA”. Or instead of “Tomorrow”, they’d simply send “Tw”. Interestingly enough, there was even a shorthand for something that sounds like it would come from a modern gaming chat, “Instantly killed”- “Ik”… As for the Morse code equivalent of emoticons, we have such things as the number 73 (and later switched to 88) which represented “love and kisses”. Also of note is some of Phillip’s code is still commonly used today, such as “POTUS” and “SCOTUS”, “President of the United States” and “Supreme Court of the United States” respectively.
Expand for References

The post Who Invented the Emoticon and Emoji? (And How They’re Forever Changing Written Language) appeared first on Today I Found Out.

(510): If he’s halfway…

(510): If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him.

Don’t Ask Us How, but This Tiny House Is Actually Bigger on the Inside

cool tiny house

This tiny house in Japan is only 594-square-feet but it looks surprisingly comfortable! 

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Tagged: list , house , design , image

(812): He fucks strippers and…

(812): He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this.

This Bookstore Takes Matching a Customer With the Perfect Book Too Literally

matching book covers

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Tagged: list , books , funny , image

(310): Pro tip: When you spend…

(310): Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube.

Just Ask These Animals When They Plan on Dropping Their Next Mixtape

cool animal pics

The answer, based on these pictures, appears to be "Soon".

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Tagged: list , funny , animals , image

Late Night Rips Trump Over Pelosi Announcement: ‘First Draft He Can’t Dodge’

Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, James Corden, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon all tackled the latest big development in the impeachment inquiry.

16 Pictures of Amazing Libraries That Will Expand Your Mind

cool libraries around the world

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Tagged: list , library , beauty , image

(989): Do you remember what…

(989): Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?

Nice “Hat”

art kids St Patrick's Day parenting facebook g rated - 8106513920

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Googly Eyes Make These Every Day Things So Much Better

googly eyes on random things

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Tagged: list , funny , image

British Runner Wants To Adopt The Stray Dog That Ran Besides Him In a Challenging Desert Race

runner adopts stray dog that ran with him during race

British Ultra runner got some support from an unlikely place in a recent race in the Gobi Desert . While participating in a 155 mile race called the 4 Deserts Race, he gained an unexpected running partner in the form of a stray dog. Check out there incredible story below. Via: SlikTalk

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Tagged: dogs , stray dog , adoption , desert , race , British , UK , runner

WE NEED IT IRL

bewbs hannah minx hilarious IRL youtube - 5982569472

WE NEED IT IRL

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But He Looks So Cute

cute dogs funny innocent - 8474349568

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: cute , dogs , funny , innocent

ABOUT TO?

about bird gun picture Terrifying wtf - 5366994944

ABOUT TO?

Submitted by: Joe

Tagged: about , bird , gun , picture , Terrifying , wtf

(317): Definitely went to court…

(317): Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court.

12 Fun Games You Can Play With Your Cat

12 games you can play together with your cat

Playing games with your cat is a fun, simple way to enrich her life, provide stimulation and strengthen the bond you share. Here are some fun games you can enjoy together.

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Tagged: games , play , Cats

Cute girls 147

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

How ‘Star Wars’ Tried To Fix Its Most Awkward Moments

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5 Wasteful Things Employers Do (Instead Of Paying Us More)

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How The Future Will Cover Today’s Scandals

By Cracked Plasticians  Published: December 06th, 2019 

Andy Capp for Dec 06, 2019 for 12/06/2019

Andy Capp for Dec 06, 2019

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The Other Coast for Dec 06, 2019

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B.C. for Dec 06, 2019 for 12/06/2019

B.C. for Dec 06, 2019

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Herb and Jamaal for Dec 06, 2019 for 12/06/2019

Herb and Jamaal for Dec 06, 2019

Updated: Fri Dec 06, 2019

Mom Live-Tweeting About Dogs Throwing Crazy Rager On a Roof Just Won 2017

tweets about dogs on a roof

In the grand scheme of unexpected ragers with bizarre locations, this right here just took home the gold. The live-tweet account alone is an exhilarating experience, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

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Tagged: dogs , rager , Party , texting , funny

Museum Tells Story of The Unluckiest Mouse Ever

story of an unlucky mouse at a museum

The Museum of English Rural Life is weirdly prolific on twitter, for a museum. A while ago they had an unexpected mouse guest, and things went about as stupidly as anyone could guess.

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The Very Best Cheezburger App Submissions of the Week!

funny memes and gifs

14 of the funniest user submissions from the Cheezburger app. Keep the submissions coming and remember to get your friends to like them for a chance to make the list.

Submitted by: SirFelsenAxt

20 Times MoonPie Left Twitter Speechless

Collection of times MoonPie left people on Twitter speechless cause it's such a weird account.

Who'd have known MoonPie could be so alarmingly strange. Gotta love the unexpected Twitter gems they left us with. 

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Tagged: candy , twitter , wtf , brand , ridiculous , funny

The Worldwide Adventures Of Ziggy The Pig

pig travels the world

When Kristin Hartness adopted Ziggy five years ago, she thought she was the proud new owner of a tiny, teacup pig. Teacup pigs are typically advertised as pets that will remain miniature-size, and will never reach the full size of a regular pig. Hartness quickly learned otherwise. Ziggy is now full-grown, weighing in at over 250 pounds! Despite Ziggy's unexpected size, Hartness never thought twice about keeping her lovable pig. Ziggy and Hartness's adventures began in St. John's in the Caribbean and have spanned across the United States. Ziggy has quickly become quite the seasoned traveler, and the world has been taking notice of his story. Hartness and her fiancé now travel from state to state in an RV with Ziggy to spread awareness about pet adoption. Scroll through below to see Hartness and Ziggy's incredible adventures. Via: Little things


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Tagged: world , pig , family , traveling

If We Could Read What Dogs Think In 10+ Hilarious And Adorable Tweets

funny dog tweets

@dog_feelings never fails to make us sorely wish we could actually read what dogs are thinking. Is it truly that loving, loyal, and painfully wholesome? Would love to be able to peel back the curtain and see what kinds of dreams dogs have as well. What gets them so riled up all the time when they're snoozing. 

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Quora User Feels Overwhelming Guilt, But a Stranger’s Response Helps Ease The Pain

funny quora question

This Quora user felt overwhelming guilt for something out of their control and asked the internet for some advice on how to forgive oneself. One user's response helped shine a very much needed warm and bright light to the situation.

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Tagged: guilt , quora , answer , response , loss

The Daily FAIL: Push Through That Hump Day Grind

funny memes

Bitches better have my Unicorn Frap ready.

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Dog Walks Onto the Stage at a Classical Concert in Turkey and the Crowd Loves it

Dog strolls on stage during classical concert

Who said classical concerts are boring?

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Tagged: dogs , concert , Turkey , Stage , Video

Mini Twitter Thread Of A Drunken Man Who Loses His ID And Get’s A Surprise In The Mail

guy loses id and gets it back

From the "old but gold," Twitter archives comes this hilarious drunken night that had an unexpected result! 

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The Boston Police Department Found Their New Mascot in an Unexpected Place

cat becomes mascot for police

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Tagged: swat , Cats , stray , boston , police

Entertaining Memes To Temporarily Banish Your Boredom

funny random memes

The clock seems to tick so slowly when you have nothing to do. To prevent yourself from staring at it anxiously, indulge in some of these memes, tweets, and comics to keep you busy. They may not speed up time, but they'll make everything seem a little less agonizing. 

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Donald Trump Offers His Take On Who Deactivated His Twitter Account

Donald Trump tweets message about who hacked into his Twitter account.

The virtual world was stormed by unexpected silence, when an angry ex-Twitter employee hacked and deactivated Donald Trump's Twitter account as his departing act (or gift?). Naturally, rumors ran wild over who might've done such a thing; but DJ Trump himself decided to finally break his silence on the matter, and smoothly segue from there into nothing short of a tweet storm to compensate for the momentary silence on his end.

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#MillennialLife

Funny Twitter meme about a person who received a law degree but isn't qualified for any job other than a fast food worker

Can't wait to start my career making $15/hour with this $200,000 degree!

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Guy Forgets About Leaving His Number on Dippin Dots Bathroom Wall, Hilarious Conversation and Unexpected Friendship Ensues

guy writes his number on bathroom door and makes a new friend

They don't call it the 'ice cream' of the future for nothing. What we can see in this conversation here, is the beginnings of a long and fruitful friendship between likeminded bros that have an appetite for spontaneity and yes, of course, the Dippin Dots. Nobody go telling DJ Trump's main ice-cream hating henchman, Sean Spicer about all this though...because Dots Bro is the REAL MVP.

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“Adventure Cats Living Nine Lives To The Fullest” Is The Ultimate Guide To Taking Your Cat Into The Wild

A new book of cats traveling around the world with their owners

27 amazing photos of cats traveling around the world with their owners

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Tagged: world , photos , traveling , Cats

20 Tweets That Will Surprise You With Their Funny Unexpected Ending

funny tweets with unexpected ending

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Fourteen Joe Biden Memes For The Political Satirists

Funny memes about Joe Biden

Look, we definitely don't want to hate on any particular candidate or take sides in this presidential election cycle, but Joe Biden has just been so meme-able this election season that we really had to take advantage of the material handed to us. We think that Biden supporters and haters alike will be able to laugh at these.

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Driver Whips Out Most Unexpected ID When Stopped By Police

police stops driver named homer simpson

The photo on the license says it all.

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Cat Goes Into Labor And Gets A Helping Paw From The Family’s Dog

dog comforts cat in labor

Such a heartwarming story! To read more, head over to GTGoodTimes.

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Tagged: cat , dogs , heartwarming , labor , kitten , cute

Absurd Illustrations That Made Us Laugh, But In A Confused Way

Funny illustrations created by Chris (Simpsons artist)

If you didn't already know, we're fans of bizarre, nonsensical humor. These illustrations by Chris (Simpsons Artist) kind of remind us of Obvious Plant, so you know we had to share them with you.

Be sure to check him out on Instagram! We really want to know where he comes up with this stuff...

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John Mulaney’s Harsh Holiday Opinions Had Me In Tears

He does make a lot of good points though

Ah, the holidays.

Chilly weather and magical snowfalls, cozy nights next to a fire, gift giving and time with loved ones, it’s a wonderful time of year, the most wonderful time of year, even. Hey, that’s a pretty good hook for a song, someone should get on that. But as we’ve learned from various fictional characters throughout the ages such as the Grinch, Ebenezer Scrooge. and Burgermeister Meisterburger, the holidays aren’t for everybody. Some folks just have a bone or two to pick with this season! And not all of them are fictional, like John Mulaney, who is very much a real human person.

In a new-ish segment of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (or maybe it’s not new and I just haven’t been paying attention) called Wheel of Opinions, John Mulaney sat down and discussed some very important things, like how mistletoe is beyond creepy and Rudolph definitely deserves to go to therapy.

‘Daily Show’ Takes A Stab At What Kim Jong Un Might Get Trump For Christmas

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12 Hilarious Comics With Unexpected Ending

funny comics

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Tagged: life , animals , web comics

27 Clever Moments Of Pure Tinder Gold

Funny tinder moments, online dating ,texting.

The internet has revolutionized so much of our lives - drones deliver packages to our houses, we can keep in touch with our loved ones around the world, and with Tinder and other dating apps - we can use terrible, punny pickup lines from the comfort of our homes. Ain't life grand?

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‘Man Smacking Cards Down’ Is The Best Meme About Interrupting

Funny dank memes entitled, "Man Smacking Cards Down"

We all have our "thing." You know, that one thing that just gets you so riled up that you can't seem to leave it out of any conversation ever. Your friends probably think you're annoying for it, but whatever, just embrace your passion and take a look at these trending dank memes that express that sentiment perfectly.

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New “Cats” Movie Trailer Unleashed Some Funny Comments On Twitter

cats movie trailer

The Tom Hooper-directed movie-musical dropped its second trailer, featuring a star-studded cast competing for a "new life." Right after it was released, things took a funny turn...Cats will premiere on December 20.

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Of Course: The Mandalorian Gets A 1980’s Sitcom Opening Treatment

Because it's only a matter of time until the show gets every treatment you can think of, this is a video edit imagining a wacky 1980's sitcom opening for The Mandalorian. From what I could gather, it appears to revolve around two fathers with presumably entirely different ideas of parenting trying to raise a baby with superpowers. I would watch it. I would even stay home on Friday nights to watch it like I used to do with Boy Meets World, at least that's what I told myself but the truth is nobody ever invited me over to hang out. "Awww, GW. I would have invited you over to hang out." And I would have pooped and hidden it somewhere! Keep going for the video.

Tinder’s Lot Of Happy Winners And Miserable Losers

A collection of happy people that won on Tinder and people that weren't so lucky.

We're back at it again with a fresh collection of Tinder users actually finding some success in a dating app dominated by failed attempts; but don't think we forgot about the failed attempts as well. We're all just trying to find love in a loveless world. 

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Typical

Funny Twitter meme about dads getting a dog they originally said they didn't want, featuring Baby Yoda

Such a classic dad move.

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27 Flirting Attempts That Were Complete Failures

failed flirting attempts

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Tagged: FAILS , flirting , cheezcake , funny

This Russian expression has two very different meanings

This vintage language series teaches us that the Russian expression ‘Delayt Noge’ means different things to different people. Join Superholly for a life-changing lesson!


Zdravstvuyte! That’s Russian for, “Hello! I’ve had 10 bowls of borscht and it’s not even noon yet.”

I’m Miss Communication, and if you’re watching this it means you’re as passionate about language as I am about borscht. Today’s lesson will demonstrate the perils of misusing one word when talking to your roommate after a night partying at the Klub.

Let’s travel to Russia!


CREDITS

Director, Editor: Mitchell Bisschop

Writer, Creator: Tamara Yajia

Writer: Ben Rosen

Producer: James Risolo

Executive Producer: Darren Miller

Executive Producer: Chris Michael

Editor: Paul Smith

Graphics: Bryan Wieder

Writers

Tamara Yajia

Ben Rosen

Alex Dobrenko

Lead Cast

Holly Tuggy

Stefani Raile

Marina Richi

Alex Dobrenko

Crew

Director of Photography: Nolan Scott

Production Designer: Elaine Carey

Production Manager: Kaja Martin

Costume Designer: Vanessa Gonzalez

Casting Director: Riley Hamilton

1st Assistant Director: Kevin Moon

B/Cam Operator: Austin Puckett

1st Assistant Camera: Ethan Brookins

DIT: Jim Wills

Gaffer: Daniel Martinez

Key Grip: Arthur Reynolds

Set Decorator: Samatha Villegas

Set Dresser: Sarah Lew

Set Dresser: Steven Smyka

Set Dresser: Jonnie Prey

Post Production Supervisor: Aaron Talavera

Assistant Editor: Jeremiah Williams

Assistant Editor: Collin Lapinsky

Wardrobe Assistant: Angela Trivino

Script Supervisor: Michelle Zagorsky

Sound Mixer: Clark Weldon

HMU Supervisor: Jessica Leigh Schwartz

HMU Supervisor: Jessica Verdon

HMU Supervisor: Mel Daniel

HMU Assistant: Vanessa Moreno

SVP, Physical Production: Jim Ziegler

Manager, Physical Production: Carly Reeve

Head of HR: Taylor Treadwell

What In The: Plane Does Fly-By While Flying Crooked

This is a short Instagram video from the Kyalami Nine Hour endurance car race in South Africa of a plane providing a little entertainment by doing a flyby of the pits all crooked-like. It doesn't even look real, it looks like broken video game physics. Speaking of -- man, I just love video games so much. *uses sniper rifle to get a closeup of an NPC's butt* Keep going for the video with a much more satisfactory frame rate.

13 Failed Flirting Attempts That Are Straight-Up Creepy

Failed Flirting Attempts That Are Straight-Up Creepy

These cringe-inducing flirting attempts will lower your faith in humanity just a little bit. 

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Filthy Frank Challenges Bane In New Dank Meme

funny filthy frank memes, pink guy vs bane memes, dark knight rises

A 2016 tweet featuring a photoshopped image of Filthy Frank challenging Bane in The Dark Knight Rises is quickly becoming the hottest dank meme format of the week. The trend started yesterday after Redditor u/Pizza_Crusade shared a self-deprecating school meme to the r/memes subreddit. Many memes have followed in its footsteps, most of them riffing on delusions of grandeur or self-effacement. It's been a while since Filthy Frank memes were trending, so we're looking forward to seeing more of 'em. 

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48 Women Share Most Common Mistakes Guys Make When Flirting

what women don't like when men flirt with them

A solid guide in what NOT to do next time you try your hand at flirting....

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Lily Kate France

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YouTube’s New Rewind Apologizes For Last Year But Still Misses The Mark

Youtube Rewind 2019 for the record, reactions to youtube rewind, funny tweets, funny memes

Remember last year's cringey YouTube Rewind? It's hard not to. The video was the most disliked video in the history of the website. This year, YouTube has decided to repent for their sins and play it safe - with a whole lot of numbers. Instead of getting creative, the new video is more of a montage of the most statistically "liked" videos, creators, and channels. It even features controversial creator PewDiePie

Though the new YouTube video is decidedly less controversial than 2018's, the viewer response has done nothing but prove that people will never be happy. Commenters are already decrying the site's move to stick to numbers, as well as its absence of memes and deceased YouTuber Etika. The general consensus is that it's a cop-out video reminiscent of the "Top Ten" videos that are so popular on YouTube. The videos dislikes already dwarf its likes. With responses like this, we have to wonder what they'll come up with next year.

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Guy Flirting With Customer Service On Twitter Gets Shut Down And Can’t Let It Go

guy tries to flirt with customer service on twitter

Keep your head up, Craig. You'll find someone out there eventually. It just wasn't meant to be...

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British Pervert Pulls Cop Card After Flirty Texting Goes Horribly Wrong

British guy says that he's a cop to a girl after their texting exchange doesn't go well.

Splintered piece of Balsa wood got me good. This idiot tried to pull the cop card, when he should've aborted long before that. Brace yourself for a conversation of pure, distilled cringe. 

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Weightlifter Performing Clean And Jerks On Balance Ball While Getting Punched And Kicked In Stomach

extreme-workout.jpg Because some people take CrossFit too seriously, this is a video of a fitness buff performing some relatively lightweight clean and jerks on a balance ball while a couple bros punch and kick him in the rock-hard abs. Now I'm not saying these bros clearly weren't trying hard enough, but if I were one of them there's no doubt in my mind I could have easily facilitated a medical emergency. Keep going for the video while I get winded taking a trip to the vending machine.

She’s Just So Hungry

Funny Twitter meme that reads, "I wish I had the confidence of my dog who thinks every single meal I make is for her" above a photo of a little dog in the kitchen

It's so hard to resist those puppy eyes...

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Floyd Mayweather’s Recent Comeback Attempt To Conor McGregor On Twitter Backfires Hilariously

Floyd Mayweather Conor McGregor

Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor are back at it exchanging spicy tweets in a fiery Twitter spar. Just when it seemed like Mayweather had sealed the deal by bringing more attention to his victory over McGregor last summer, he ended up setting the stage for his own ultimate demise. Sometimes it's best to go out when you're on top. 

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Funny Or Die’s Best Holiday Sketches – Part 2

This magical time of year is about putting everyday life on hold and remembering the things that truly matter, like laughter and joy, and spending time with people you care about, and being able to semi-regularly eat five course meals and drink with reckless abandon free of judgement, and silently agreeing that chestnuts roasting on an open fire are actually kind of garbage, like they’re okay at best, but it sounds really lovely so roasted chestnuts are always going to be a thing. For real though, there’s no way anybody has actually enjoyed them since the 1930’s. I digress. Anyway.

The holiday season is all about the spirit of giving.

So, because we love laughter and we love you all like family, we wanted to celebrate the holidays with a present that only a true family member would give — a beautifully wrapped regift.

(We were going to crochet you all itchy sweaters but we didn’t want to step on memaw’s turf)

Here is part two of our most favorite Funny Or Die holiday sketches.


  1. The Thanksgiving Channel (2013)
  2. Santa? (2016)
  3. Five Golden Rings (2013)

Jersey Shore Is Making a Comeback as an Amazing New Meme

Jersey Shore memes

You've never seen movies until you've seen Jersey Shore as movies.

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Tagged: jersey shore , list , movies , Memes

103MPH Average: Guys Break Cannonball Run Record From NYC To LA In 27 Hours 25 Minutes

new-cannonball-run-record-1.jpg Three maniacs just set a new Cannonball Run record from New York City to Los Angeles, driving a heavily modified just-for-the-record-breaking-attempt Mercedes E63 AMG at an average of 103MPH (including gas stops, which were only 22.5 minutes total for the whole trip thanks to a gigantic gas tank welded in the trunk). They completed the 2,825 mile journey in just 27 hours and 25 minutes (the previous record, set in 2006 with a BMW M5 was 31 hours, 4 minutes). Road & Track has a really good article about the whole adventure if you're interested, and goes into way more detail about the vehicle and technology used (read: every kind of police detector available) than I ever could. Still, 27 hours and 25 minutes -- that's waaaaay faster than I made the trip. For reference, I left New York City on March 12th, 2012 at 6:55AM and now I live in Nebraska. Keep going for a few more shots of the car and a worthwhile video if you're into this.

16 Times People Unleashed Harsh Comebacks

savage comebacks and insults

Never underestimate the unforgiving brutality of a perfectly timed comeback. 

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Thirty-Nine Clever Tweets Filled With Ample Wit

Funny random tweets

Let's face it: most of us are just not that clever. It's hard to come up with something witty, after all, even if it's only 280 characters-worth. That's why we put together Twitter galleries, so that you can browse through them and feel marginally more entertained than you were before.

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Top 10 Most Brutal Comebacks People Have Ever Heard

Ten of the most brutal comebacks we've ever seen.

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Motion Activated Doorknob Lights Up In The Dark So You Can Find It

illumiknobi-1.jpg This is the $50 Illumiknobi designed and sold by Pin & Tumbler Studio. Not only was it geniusly named, but it lights up when you approach it at night so you can see where it is. It's powered by a single coin-cell battery, which can allegedly power the knob for a whole year. Obviously, it's perfect for finding the bathroom door at night without fumbling around and waking your partner. I mean, at least not until the earsplitting diarrhea. Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

These Youtube Crash Memes Prove We Really Are Addicted To The Damn Site

Funny memes and reactions to october 2018 youtube outage.

The world had a collective freak out last night when Youtube experience a two-hour outage starting at 9pm EST - the longest outage that the streaming site has ever experienced. A veritable gold mine for content creators and consumers alike, netizens began freaking out quite promptly, taking to Twitter and Tumblr with their reactions and memes. The resulting mess makes it very, very evident that we could all probably use an internet detox. And yet here we are. 

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Manchild Flips A Lid On Woman He Went On One Date With

Cringey text message conversation between a woman and a guy she went on a date with over a year ago

Dating is hard as is, but it's even worse when you encounter a total psycho who just can't take a hint. This guy was obviously thirsty so he hit up a woman he went on one date with over a year ago. You can probably guess how that turned out!

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Scott Disick Had The Best Comebacks To Every Situation

Scott Disick funny on keeping up with the kardashians

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Finally, A Scotch Tape Dispenser That Looks Like A Record Player

scotch-tape-record-player-1.jpg This is the $12 Scotch Magic Tape Dispenser Record Player. It dispenses Scotch Tape and looks like a record player. And, I think I speak for everyone here when I say it is easily the biggest thing to happen to Scotch Tape in the last 80 years. Keep going for a couple more shots because, just like Santa's elves, they exist.

Bang Bang GIFDUMP 9

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These Rhyming Elf On The Shelf Memes Have Taken Over The Internet

Collection of rhyming Elf on the Shelf memes.

Another week, another shitposting trend. Everyone's favorite Christmas tradition is now part of the latest fad. Starting last week, people on Twitter and Reddit have been creating memes with the text "You've heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for" accompanied by an image of another rhyming situation. Nintendo characters have been especially popular: think photos like Link in a sink, Waluigi on a squeegee, Princess Peach on a beach. 

Because the format is so simple (and many would argue, stupid) these rhyming memes have spread like wildfire. Here are some of our favorites.

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Emo Comics For Sad Masochists

Emo comics, emotional comics

There are some people in this world that actually enjoy looking at sad things and having a good cry. We fall into this category, and these absurdly emotional comics about pets and loss more than fulfill that depressing and masochistic compulsion. Grab some Kleenex, hug your loved ones, and enjoy the pain.

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Tagged: web comics

20 DC Memes And Comics For Marvel Fans To Scoff At

Funny memes and comics about dc comics, alfred the butler, web comics about batman, funny web comics, funny memes, funny comicsmemes, funny marvel memes, funny dc memes, dc vs marvel.

DC fans have it rough these days, and we're not going to make it easier for them.

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Memes & Tweets To Help You Retain What’s Left Of Your Sanity

funny random memes

If Thursday's the new Friday, consider this big batch of memes and tweets a celebration. Juuust kidding. While we still have a couple days of hell, these memes help make us feel free, if only for a little while. And that's really all we can ask for.

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14 People Reveal The Comically Depressing Reasons They’re Not Rich

reasons people have no money

Probably most of us can relate to these funny tweets written by people who don't have as much money as they'd like. At least we can take comfort in the fact that we aren't alone?

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Blue Screen Of Death Strikes Fancy Mall Display

mall-blue-screen-of-death.jpg This is a shot from a mall (does anybody recognize it? And does it have an arcade and Orange Julius?) where the computer operating a fancy twisted display got hit with a dreaded blue screen of death. Man, it's been a while since I've seen one of those. Boner pill pop-ups? All the time. I welcome them with open arms like an old friend you have to hug from a distance. Thanks to Linby, who agrees the mall IT department ain't what it used to be.

24 Of The Most Depressing Locations Of All Time

Depressing map locations.

Damien Rudd's Instagram account, @sadtopographies, is our favorite example of darkness meeting reality. Rudd has scoured the globe for the most miserable and depressing locales he can find - and he found enough to write a book. You can purchase it on Amazon if you're a fan of what you see!

h/t/ Bored Panda

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Tagged: Memes , Maps

Jimmy Fallon Quizzes Elizabeth Warren On Van Halen And Her Reply Is A Doozy

The "Tonight Show" host brought up Van Halen after the recent drama over Billie Eilish not knowing the band.

Fitness Blog Gets Aggressive AF, Tries to Tell People to Not Eat Pizza, Invokes the Wrath of Twitter

fitness blog tells people not to eat pizza

This fitness blog managed to cut out a slice of social media spotlight, and truly, found fleeting relevancy in the worst way possible. If their goal was to get our attention, they definitely didn't fail on that account. One does not address the everyday pizza-loving human on Twitter (a venue already prone to rage-ridden outbursts/tweet reacts); and tell them they shouldn't enjoy their doughy gift of the gods. 

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(615): So random question:…

(615): So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.

The Capabilities of Unreal Engine on Display as Used in the Mandalorian

Unreal Engine partners with a number of companies to show off the capabilities of its software as seen in the TV series The Mandalorian

So Disney+ has taken off, and no title has generated more attention and virality than the Mandalorian. Finally, a Star Wars series everyone can jump on like its Game of Thrones' prequel. The software studio that was used heavily in the filming of the show, Unreal Engine, partnered with a number of companies to show the capabilities in fliming. These are some of the results.

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Get Ready For Some Brewskis This Weekend With ‘Middle Class Fancy’

funny memes

*middle class laughing* *wipes tears of laughter on outlet-mall polo shirt*

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Stephen Colbert Reveals His Curse On The Democratic 2020 Candidates

"I am officially the Democratic primary kiss of death," joked "The Late Show" host.

All The Best ‘Dabbing Dude’ Memes The Internet Has To Offer

dabbing dude memes

The 'Dabbing Dude' meme is a meme with something for everyone. No matter how old you are or how kind, most people can relate to the feeling of reveling in another person's misfortune or even inconvenience. This shirtless youth, gleefully dabbing himself into oblivion as he watches a girl fight, represents that exact feeling. 

While the premise is very basic, the meme is being used to describe some relatively complex ideas, ranging from politics to history. Versatile memes like this one tend to take off pretty quickly, so you can expect more great memes to come at you soon!

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Super Classy 10

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Dark Simpsons Brings Awesomely Brutal Edge To A Beloved TV Show

Funny dark simpsons, the simpsons, homer simpsons, depressing, unstettling, disturbing,

What if The Simpsons, but darker? Well, it exists. The folks at Dark Simpsons mix and match Simpsons screencaps to create magically dark and disturbing scenarios that are pretty far from the show itself. The storylines are impressively cohesive, and a great deal more demented than canon. You can keep up to date with the meme-y comics here.

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(310): I’ll call you in a…

(310): I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
(1-310): Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous.

‘I Wonder If He’s Thinking About Me’ Memes Are The Newest Stock Photo Sensation

stock photo memes

Remember the "I Bet He's Thinking About Other Women" meme? Well get ready for the freshest stock photo meme on the internet about relationships!

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(972): In a meeting I sneezed and…

(972): In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.

(832): Pretty sure I just pissed…

(832): Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...

These Shower Memes Are A Brilliant Play On Common Stereotypes

Funny shower memes about stereotypes.

Some things get better with age. This may not be true for memes, but we think these silly stereotype memes are still pretty entertaining. Sometimes meme-ing is the only way to take control of the crap that people assume about you and yours. We've gathered our favorites here, but you can find more (and more offensive) exampleshere.

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(815): Hey, um, after thinking…

(815): Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.

11 Lovely Comics About the Legend of Zelda

web comics legends of zelda

We love Zelda and web comics. So here's a sample of two fantastic web comic series and art styles that beautifully capture the magic of the series

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(856): Dude, she was there with…

(856): Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.

(716): Very interesting. Let’s…

(716): Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed.

10 Best Bad Acronym Memes

Collection of Bad Acronym memes regarding respecting women, gangs, FBI, lots of Jesus, spongebob squarepants.

E - These 

N - Are Our 

J - Favorites of 

O - This Trending 

Y - Meme Format

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(867): Watching South Park, doing…

(867): Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.

15 Memes & Tweets About The Agony & Ecstasy Of Haircare

Funny memes about haircuts.

Most humans would agree that gettin' your hair did is an emotional process. We cut our hair to incite change - after bad breakups. We have meltdowns when our hair stylist gets it, so, so wrong. And we feel immeasurable anxiety sitting in that chair, waiting for the big reveal of our new look. These insightful tweets and memes will be relatable to both sides of the chair.

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16 Hilarious Animal Memes That Are Freakishly Relatable

Funny and relatable animal memes with dogs, cats, birds, racoons, kangaroos, birds.

Sometimes animals get into predicaments that are a little too familiar. These are their stories.

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Tagged: dogs , birds , Memes , raccoons , Cats , animals

The Reason Men Rent Apartments, Buy Houses, and Build Anything

dave chappelle men vs women true facts - 7954102528

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Donald Trump And Boris Johnson Take Center Stage In Jimmy Fallon’s New Talk Show

"The Tonight Show" host jumped into character as both world leaders for a special UK-themed comedy bit.

If Celebrities Were In High School

if celebrities were in high school

We feel like most of these are pretty spot on, what would other celebrities be like if they were in high school?

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Trump Fleeing After Being Mocked Is Objectively Funny

By Luis Prada  Published: December 05th, 2019 

Take a Hike Baby Jesus, There’s a Die Hard Christmas Pageant

By JM McNab  Published: December 05th, 2019 

The Horrifying Reality of Consumer Genetic Testing

By Kelly Stone  Published: December 05th, 2019 

5 Sex Scandals From Hollywood’s Golden Age

By Andrew McRae  Published: December 05th, 2019 

They call it fashion 80

dailyhaha funny picturesPicdump : Click to see all pictures.

B.C. for Dec 05, 2019 for 12/05/2019

B.C. for Dec 05, 2019

Updated: Thu Dec 05, 2019

Momma for Dec 05, 2019 for 12/05/2019

Momma for Dec 05, 2019

Updated: Thu Dec 05, 2019

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 05, 2019 for 12/05/2019

Dogs of C-Kennel for Dec 05, 2019

Updated: Thu Dec 05, 2019

Agnes for Dec 05, 2019 for 12/05/2019

Agnes for Dec 05, 2019

Updated: Thu Dec 05, 2019

This Angry Cat Meme Is The Only Good Thing To Come Out Of Hurricane Harvey

funny memes about angry hurricane harvey cat.

While we are completely over hurricanes right now, we want to give a shot out to one special hurricane hero. Photographer Scott Olson managed to snap a shot of this VERY pissed off feline swimming in the floods caused by Hurricane Harvey. The viral image has spawned many memes since being posted a week ago on Getty Images. Here are some of our favorites.

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Tagged: hurricane , weather , Memes , texas , Cats

A Little Rowan Atkinson Makes Everything Better

funny mr bean pics

Start your week off with a little bit of Bean.

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30 Amusing Memes And Tweets To Soothe Your Weary Soul

funny memes

We all need a little bit of help sometimes. Maybe these memes will do the trick.

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The Latest Nintendo Direct Has Inspired Some Great Smash Brothers Memes

Funny memes super smash brothers ultimate

Nintendo nerds went wild yesterday when after the final Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Nintendo Direct went live. The game promised several new characters: the Piranha plant from Super Mario (heavily meme'd), Pokémon's Inciniroar, and Ken from Street Fighter. While these intros received attention, the decision to kill EVERYONE but Kirby in a trailer really got people memeing. Here are some of the choice memes regarding the occasion.

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Best Of: Arthur’s Headphones Memes

Collection of funny memes featuring PBS's Arthur wearing his headphones wrong to make fun of people regarding Soundcloud and also video game companies.

Get it together, Arthur. This image of the oft-memed aardvark, in which he is wearing headphones that are not covering his ears has been used in memes to describe situations in which people are pretending to listen to music, as well as to describe situations in which people do not care about your needs or desires. Here are some of our favorite examples. 

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The Internet Wants To Know: Who Is She?

Collection of memes about the meme trend who is she.

If you've been using the internet over the past year, you've probably noticed the question "who is she?" being thrown around. The query has been popping up on memes since 2014, where Tumblr users would use the text in response to photos of attractive animals or inanimate objects that resemble women. 

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Tagged: dogs , Memes , who is she , Cats , animals

Trevor Noah Cracks Up Over World Leaders Putting Trump In The ‘Burn Book’

The "Daily Show" host felt that Justin Trudeau, Emmanuel Macron, Boris Johnson, Mark Rutte and Princess Anne were acting like "Mean Girls."

25 People Dish The Dirty Details Of Their Craziest One Night Stands

Crazy stories from one night stands, one night stands, gross one night stands, secrets, sex, casual sex.

One night stands are a little like Russian roulette. When they're good, you get all the benefits without any further obligation. But when they're bad...they're really, really bad. These horror stories are a reminder to be careful before flirting with that mysterious stranger. You might get more than you bargained for.

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An Exorbitant Overload of 108 Overwatch Memes

overwatch memes

Yeah, here's a bunch of Overwatch memes. 

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Double Take: These Hilarious Images Aren’t What They First Seem

funny optical illusion pics

These absurd images are sure to make you question your reality.

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Meme #TBT: Best Of ‘You Vs. The Guy She Told You Not To Worry About’

Funny memes in the format of you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about, Pokemon, Star Wars, Guy fieri, Spongebob.

This wildly popular meme format came onto the scene in 2016, and has proven to be incredibly versatile. The meme poses "you" against a more desirable suitor, and has been used to riff on everthing from Star Wars to politics. The resulting memes are incredibly entertaining; here are our favorites. 

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30 Cute Comics From The Awkward Yeti

Funny web comics about the human body from The Awkward Yeti comics.

The Awkward Yeti uses comics to put an endearing spin on many of our body parts. Their Heart and Brain comics are their most popular (you can imagine the conflict between the logical brain and the impulsive heart) but we've included some other favorites for your enjoyment.

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Thirty-Two Silly Memes That Had Us ROFLing

Funny random memes

If you're bored out of your mind and just can't take it anymore, don't just stare at the wall - use memes to alleviate the crippling tedium that you're currently experiencing.

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50 Relationship Comics That May Be Too Sappy For Their Own Good

Cute and adorable web comics about relationships and dating from Catana comics.

Nothing screams cuffing season like a mega-dose of Catana Comics. Based on a real life relationship, these comics capture the little moments that most people take for granted. 

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Thirsty Dude Flirts In A Help Chat And Gets A Hilarious Surprise In The End

funny dating fails

If you're lookin' for a date, a random help chat is probably NOT the place to go.

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28 Funny Comics And Posts To Kill Your Pain

funny memes and comics

Get ready for another pun-filled, laugh-packed batch of funny tidbits. 

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13 Women Tell The Worst Compliments and Attempts at Flirting They’ve Ever Seen

funny flirting fails

I'd recommend not using these the next time you're trying to put the moves on a girl. 

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Tagged: FAIL , relationships , funny , dating

Troll-y Obi-Wan Moments From All Over The Star Wars Timeline

funny moments of obi-wan kenobi, obi-wan kenobi memes

We post a lot of Star Wars shitposts and dank memes, but this post is dedicated to our main man Obi-Wan Kenobi. This badass MF is in enough Star Wars movies and shows for us to say he's a serious MVP where sassy memes are concerned. Here are some of his finest moments of trolling gold.

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10 Shame-Ridden Attempts At Flirting That Shouldn’t Have Even Bothered

cringe dating fails

The asterisks/role-playing sh*t is not helping the cause here. AT ALL. 

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Mike Pence Is Gearing Up For The Presidency With This LEAKED Website

These exclusive details were revealed to us from someone within the White House

The impeachment hearings are well underway and I’ll admit I’m no expert, but things aren’t looking so great for ol’ Donald. At this point it seems like pretty much everyone is preparing for 45 to get the boot — including Vice President Pence himself.

Our tireless team of very real journalists have just received this exclusive video which was leaked by a White House staffer, and reveals part of Mike Pence’s preparations for his rise to the role of President. In the video, an unknown web developer walks the current VP through his new presidential website and offers explanations on why some of his requests weren’t possible, like, for instance, removing all of the porn from the Internet.

See President Pence’s website here: http://www.officialmikepence.com/

Dog Memes That Are Cute As Heck

Funny and cute memes about dogs

Dogs are just so dumb and adorable. They love us unconditionally and are there for us when we're feelin' down. Honestly, what did we do to deserve them? Nothing, because humans are terrible.

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Thirty-Four Of The Absolute Best Memes of The Decade

The best memes from the last decade

We just cannot believe that we're about to close out the 2010s, but that does give us the opportunity to reflect on some of our favorite memes from the past ten years. From Overly Attached Girlfriend, to Distracted Boyfriend, to Loss, it's going to be tough for the '20s to live up to the precedent that the last decade has set. Now let's get to the best memes in no particular order!

Did we miss anything? Let us know!

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When You Add Inspirational Fitness Quotes Over Photos Of People In The Toilet

bathroom memes

Apparently, those quotes finally sound totally different...

Via: Eat Liver  

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14 Amusing Yearbook Photos and Quotes

Collection of funny High School yearbook quotes and captions.

Here's to ending High School in style. 

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Spicy Self-Owns Worthy Of Respect

funny memes, funny self-owns, roasting themselves, twitter, facebook

It takes a shocking amount of confidence (or complete nihilism) to own roastoneself properly. We don't see this phenomenon often, so we're relieved to know that the r/KamikazeByWords subreddit exists. The community is the perfect way to see people destroy themselves, all in one convenient place. Happy scrolling!

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A Woman Made Her Dog His Own Holiday Bedroom, It’s So Cute I’m Going To Die

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS RIGHT NOW

The holiday season is about selflessness and showing loved ones that you care — it’s also about pretty decorations and cute things that make you all warm and fuzzy inside, and one college student managed to combine all of those elements.

Betsy Redfern was in third grade when her chihuahua, named Cupid, came into her life. They were best friends for a wonderful 12 years, and not even leaving home for college was going to separate them. So, like Reese Witherspoon and her tiny dog companion in Legally Blonde, Betsy and Cupid left to conquer college together. And like any respectful roommate, Betsy made sure Cupid had his own space — a tiny, chihuahua-sized closet.

But wait. There’s more.

As if that wasn’t already the most goddamn adorable thing you’ve ever heard in your life, when Christmas rolled around Betsy decided to make the necessary changes to Cupid’s room.

With a lil’ decorated tree.

 Betsy Redfern/The Dodo

Ohhh my gooOOOOODDDDD. So not only is this smallest-of-all Christmas trees so cute I want to flip my desk over, so is the rest of the room?!?!

THE CLOTHING RACK.

THE TINY BED AND MATCHING BANNER.

THE LIL’ FRICKIN’ TOY BASKET?!

THE NAME PLATE.

THIS IS TOO MUCH.

 Betsy Redfern/The Dodo
STOP.

This is the true meaning of Christmas. This is it. The meaning of Christmas is a tiny dog in a sweater and an equally small tree.

These друг Memes Are Still Creeping Around The Internet

Apyr memes, creepy memes, fallout, deathclaw, gaming, droog.

Earlier this month we reported on the bizarre popularity of these Deathclaw memes, and they've shown no sign of slowing down. The creepy, cursed images seem to have won the hearts of netizens - inserting themselves into other popular meme formats. While we wouldn't want to run into a Deathclaw IRL, we're enjoying the друг (meaning friend, pronounced "droog") craze. Keep on creepin' on, друг.

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Girls love tight dresses 58

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She’s Counting On Me

Funny memes about lord of the rings, relatable memes, supermarket, grocery store, gandalf

The pressure was unreal. 

Submitted by: (via @hauntedtoilet)

10 Women Share Most Painfully Obvious Signs Their Boyfriends Have Missed

funny relationships

These guys are their own worst enemies when it comes to missing those (crucial) glaring signs their ladies were trying to send their way. 

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Then and Now: a Hilarious Take on Some Things That Might Have Been Better off How They Were

funny memes

When we're young everything seems so bright and shiny. There are so many new experiences to be had, so many things and concepts to explore. But inevitably, the slow march of time continues forward, slowly dulling our shimmering existence and casting a cold dreary shadow over where there once was sun and warmth. Soon, instead of exploring the woods with little Billy, you're paying bills and rent endlessly wondering where all your money and time has gone. You look for the answers to all these questions in a bottle as time marches on.


ahem 

Yeah, so here's some hilarious images detailing some things that were just plain old better how they once were. 


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Tagged: nostalgia , me_irl

Whatever Works: Video of A BMW On Fire Being Extinguished By A Septic Truck

Because some people don't know when to just let something burn, this is a video from Samara, Russia of a BMW X6 that caught fire and a septic truck extinguishing it with a stream of liquid waste. Man, if only Youtube videos were scratch-and-sniff. "You're saying you would scratch this one." Absolutely, and anybody who says they wouldn't is a liar or can't because they don't have fingernails. Keep going for the full video.

25 Signs That Are Scarier Than They Need to Be

funny signs

Whether it's the vagueness, the real looming threat, or even the placement of the sign, these warnings do their job extra hard. Something about them really makes you want to not do what you were thinking of doing, stay in the car, and turn back. Here are some more warning signs that mean business.

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Roundup Of 2020 Memes To Mark The End Of A Decade

Funny memes about the start of 2020

Can you guys even believe that it's nearly 2020? Not only that, but we're about to close in on the decade, and you know what that means: it's time to party like it's the '20s again. We're so fricken down for that. 

We cannot wait to see what the memes will be like in the coming decade!

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Big Cats Taking a Relaxing Bath

big cats taking a bath

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Tagged: bath , cute , big cats , funny

Bot Writes Epic Commercial For Olive Garden After Devouring 1,000 Hours Of Commercials

funny olive garden tweets

Unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is all.

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